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general_staalThe feed that is coming across seems to be coming from a very long way away - and for a few moments, you would be forgiven for thinking you were being addressed by an armored baked potato. But this isn't a potato, oh no. This is a Sontaran. And if you know anything at all about Sontarans...this isn't the message you'll be expecting to receive from one.
"Greetings, Pitiful Residents of the planet known as Earth. I am General Staal - of the Tenth Sonataran fleet!" He looks very proud about that, and even prouder about what follows. "Staal the Undefeated!"
He begins to walk, the camera panning to follow him across the bridge of a starship of some kind, with themes in blues and purples. It looks a bit like someone took something from the television of the 1950s and was poorly copying it. Which was, in point of fact, what was going on. They were the signals intercepted, and an entire department of Sontaran Intelligence was busy trying to decipher whether or not there was a deeper importance or meaning behind this 'Perry Mason' fellow. And they had no idea what to make out of that Hitchcock person.
"As a future resource-planet in the Glorious Sontaran Empire, it has been decided that we bring you our wisdom, as a star-faring species, and in the many ways we are more advanced than your ridic- young little planet."
He sits on the edge of what seems to be a hastily-made copy of a human desk. Oh, by the stars, they've built a fireplace behind it.
"We have intercepted many transmissions asking for help, and have decided to answer them. Please submit all of your queries, and I will provide you with all the advice a Sontaran general can provide. I will provide you with such advice as to leave your 'Ann Landers' in the proverbial dust!"
"Begin submitting missives!"
[This is meant as a bit of fun for everybody, and you can ask questions of the General either in character or out. If you need a bit of background, Sontarans are an enemy of the Doctor in Doctor Who, past and present. Here's a clip if you'd like a sense of the character's voice. I'll happily respond in prose, brackets, whatever style you want! Hopefully we'll have a few laughs together. And later on, who knows, someone might try to provide...better advice.]
"Greetings, Pitiful Residents of the planet known as Earth. I am General Staal - of the Tenth Sonataran fleet!" He looks very proud about that, and even prouder about what follows. "Staal the Undefeated!"
He begins to walk, the camera panning to follow him across the bridge of a starship of some kind, with themes in blues and purples. It looks a bit like someone took something from the television of the 1950s and was poorly copying it. Which was, in point of fact, what was going on. They were the signals intercepted, and an entire department of Sontaran Intelligence was busy trying to decipher whether or not there was a deeper importance or meaning behind this 'Perry Mason' fellow. And they had no idea what to make out of that Hitchcock person.
"As a future resource-planet in the Glorious Sontaran Empire, it has been decided that we bring you our wisdom, as a star-faring species, and in the many ways we are more advanced than your ridic- young little planet."
He sits on the edge of what seems to be a hastily-made copy of a human desk. Oh, by the stars, they've built a fireplace behind it.
"We have intercepted many transmissions asking for help, and have decided to answer them. Please submit all of your queries, and I will provide you with all the advice a Sontaran general can provide. I will provide you with such advice as to leave your 'Ann Landers' in the proverbial dust!"
"Begin submitting missives!"
[This is meant as a bit of fun for everybody, and you can ask questions of the General either in character or out. If you need a bit of background, Sontarans are an enemy of the Doctor in Doctor Who, past and present. Here's a clip if you'd like a sense of the character's voice. I'll happily respond in prose, brackets, whatever style you want! Hopefully we'll have a few laughs together. And later on, who knows, someone might try to provide...better advice.]