Walt loves Jesse. He truly, genuinely does. But he's always at this disconnect because he knows what happens in the future and he also knows if Jesse knew the things he knows in the future, he would hate him. Eventually, he'll lose Jesse forever. And Walt can't stand that. It kills him that their future is completely out of his control.
The first couple of months he was here, he was far worse at dealing with this -- ie going from loving Jesse one week to torturing him the next. But he's mellowed out since Easter and hasn't laid his hands on Jesse in a hurtful manner since. In part that's because of some advice Chilton gave him, and he thinks if he can shower Jesse with love and support right now then maybe, if Jesse goes home and comes back, there will be a chance for them to get back what they have. A very slim chance, but still a better chance than if Walt kept fucking torturing him every other week. >(
Now that they've gone back to cooking, Walt feels like things with him and Jesse are the best they've been. And he hopes things continue to look up from here. He still doesn't want to share Jesse with anyone, so Joel just makes him >:[ but Walt is willing to try getting along. It's the chance to redo the whole Mike thing and prove to Jesse things are good. SEE. LOOK. I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU.
.....except Walt and his pride, man. How long can that last before he busts out the poisons?
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Walt loves Jesse. He truly, genuinely does. But he's always at this disconnect because he knows what happens in the future and he also knows if Jesse knew the things he knows in the future, he would hate him. Eventually, he'll lose Jesse forever. And Walt can't stand that. It kills him that their future is completely out of his control.
The first couple of months he was here, he was far worse at dealing with this -- ie going from loving Jesse one week to torturing him the next. But he's mellowed out since Easter and hasn't laid his hands on Jesse in a hurtful manner since. In part that's because of some advice Chilton gave him, and he thinks if he can shower Jesse with love and support right now then maybe, if Jesse goes home and comes back, there will be a chance for them to get back what they have. A very slim chance, but still a better chance than if Walt kept fucking torturing him every other week. >(
Now that they've gone back to cooking, Walt feels like things with him and Jesse are the best they've been. And he hopes things continue to look up from here. He still doesn't want to share Jesse with anyone, so Joel just makes him >:[ but Walt is willing to try getting along. It's the chance to redo the whole Mike thing and prove to Jesse things are good. SEE. LOOK. I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU.
.....except Walt and his pride, man. How long can that last before he busts out the poisons?