Best friends for life. I mean what else is there to say, really?
.... Everything, actually. So much.
God, I don't even know how to start with this without going on about Kangmo's various issues, but I'm gonna try hard not to go too far with those. Bear with me.
So Kangmo feels incredible amounts of guilt when it comes to Hazel. Like... amazing amounts of guilt for what he put her through. The thing about Kangmo is that Kangmo tries to protect himself and hide his own vulnerabilities so aggressively that there's really no way for her to know that. He'd much rather her think he's a callous asshole, than realize how bad he actually feels about his attempt to blackmail her. There's also a whole heaping ton of trust issues on his part, which is why he blackmailed her in the first place instead of just doing the sensible thing and asked her for a place to stay, because he immediately expected to be rejected if he came at her rationally instead of forcing her hand.
So he's kind of fine with her thinking he's as awful as she thinks he is.
And also kind of not. Because who wants to be the unlikable guy that people cannot speak to without getting into a fight with? He's not about to change things any time soon, because again, that'd be admitting weakness in his mind, but it does frustrate him how strained he made their interactions, especially because she is the person he's spoken to the most here at MoM. Not that he ever thinks they're going to be the best of friends or anything like that, but he also realizes that they could be at least civil with each other if he hadn't done what he did.
He's also got a whole complex set of feelings about what happened during the Crank plot. On one hand he really doesn't blame her for wanting him out of the house. He doesn't necessarily feel bad about breaking her things while he was out of her mind, but he does feel bad about the fact that he was willing to stay there and expose other people to a deadly disease. His guilt in that case is directed to her housemates who could have actually suffered if they caught the virus instead of Hazel, who was more or less safe. He's got huge issues about feeling responsible for people's deaths, and a large part of why he gave her key back is because he came too close to that than is anywhere near comfortable for him.
The other part is because even though she had to do what she could to get him out of the house, they never really spoke about what happened after. He doesn't know her motivations, and he doesn't know she was purposely luring him to the hospital. He knows she tried to strangle him, and she threw him out a window. He's got some bitter feelings of resentment for her for that. As far as he knows she would have been fine with him dying if it meant the others stayed safe, and she was certainly fine with hurting him enough that he scars (glass in the skin'll do that, but he sort of dug it in worse himself).
He originally tried to force her to let him stay with him in order to feel safe from his murderous roommate, even if he overstayed his welcome after, and after the event of the Crank plot lost any sense of safety he had.
For the most part right now he's been avoiding speaking to her, because there's this whole range of negative emotions of her ranging from guilt to anger, and he'd rather avoid her and thus avoid them than try to deal with them.
WHICH MEANS sometime we should force them to interact again. I'm just saying.
no subject
.... Everything, actually. So much.
God, I don't even know how to start with this without going on about Kangmo's various issues, but I'm gonna try hard not to go too far with those. Bear with me.
So Kangmo feels incredible amounts of guilt when it comes to Hazel. Like... amazing amounts of guilt for what he put her through. The thing about Kangmo is that Kangmo tries to protect himself and hide his own vulnerabilities so aggressively that there's really no way for her to know that. He'd much rather her think he's a callous asshole, than realize how bad he actually feels about his attempt to blackmail her. There's also a whole heaping ton of trust issues on his part, which is why he blackmailed her in the first place instead of just doing the sensible thing and asked her for a place to stay, because he immediately expected to be rejected if he came at her rationally instead of forcing her hand.
So he's kind of fine with her thinking he's as awful as she thinks he is.
And also kind of not. Because who wants to be the unlikable guy that people cannot speak to without getting into a fight with? He's not about to change things any time soon, because again, that'd be admitting weakness in his mind, but it does frustrate him how strained he made their interactions, especially because she is the person he's spoken to the most here at MoM. Not that he ever thinks they're going to be the best of friends or anything like that, but he also realizes that they could be at least civil with each other if he hadn't done what he did.
He's also got a whole complex set of feelings about what happened during the Crank plot. On one hand he really doesn't blame her for wanting him out of the house. He doesn't necessarily feel bad about breaking her things while he was out of her mind, but he does feel bad about the fact that he was willing to stay there and expose other people to a deadly disease. His guilt in that case is directed to her housemates who could have actually suffered if they caught the virus instead of Hazel, who was more or less safe. He's got huge issues about feeling responsible for people's deaths, and a large part of why he gave her key back is because he came too close to that than is anywhere near comfortable for him.
The other part is because even though she had to do what she could to get him out of the house, they never really spoke about what happened after. He doesn't know her motivations, and he doesn't know she was purposely luring him to the hospital. He knows she tried to strangle him, and she threw him out a window. He's got some bitter feelings of resentment for her for that. As far as he knows she would have been fine with him dying if it meant the others stayed safe, and she was certainly fine with hurting him enough that he scars (glass in the skin'll do that, but he sort of dug it in worse himself).
He originally tried to force her to let him stay with him in order to feel safe from his murderous roommate, even if he overstayed his welcome after, and after the event of the Crank plot lost any sense of safety he had.
For the most part right now he's been avoiding speaking to her, because there's this whole range of negative emotions of her ranging from guilt to anger, and he'd rather avoid her and thus avoid them than try to deal with them.
WHICH MEANS sometime we should force them to interact again. I'm just saying.