["You're a bigger threat to me than the devil," he says, and the reassuring thing in this instance is probably not to smile. Probably a bad idea—oh, no, there he goes anyway. Smiling, the nutball.]

I'm not sure I do. Did I put you there? Or was that exactly where you wanted to be so that when I gave you an opening, you immediately took it?

[Must be nice to sit under the shade of the "Technically I Couldn't Do Anything So I'm Blameless And Sticking To This Story Forever" tree.]