[It's a lot to take in. He's flabbergasted for a few mercifully silent moments, stunned by the impact, but eventually Chilton works his mouth again -- first sucking in air, and then:]

I don't know! I do not know why I cannot. I -- I want to be important, I want to be influential. I have to take risks.

[Not the whole truth. And he owes her the whole truth.]

And... I just. I like it. [Quietly, now:] I like the darker things in human nature. I want to know it.