hackitude: happy (down in the heart and in the stars)
Skye ([personal profile] hackitude) wrote in [community profile] etcelsior2014-10-15 05:43 pm

aww yeah it's question meme time

Time to bring back one of my old faves...

the QUESTION meme





Simple and easy! Here's how it goes:

1. POST a top-level with your character name

2. REPLY to other people's top-level with a question for that character

3. ANSWER the question you were asked

4. ASK a question of that person's characters in return!

We go back and forth like this asking questions in a thread until one or both of us runs out of questions!

QUESTIONS CAN BE ANYTHING. Serious or silly as you want! What does Jane think of (x)? What does Sarah have for breakfast? How many times a day does Alex masturbate? What's Tom's dream job? The only limit for questions is your imagination.

Replies can be as monosyllabic or as tl;dr are you want; it's up to you. Go wild kids!
hostage: (anguished ☣)

[personal profile] hostage 2014-10-15 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
:C Kara...

Forgiveness is a bit of a stretch. Jesse finds the idea offensive, honestly. You can't just say, "It's alright that you shot an innocent man in the face while he was begging for his life." There's nothing that can make that alright. You can't even pretend that's alright. If you can forgive someone for that, then you can forgive anything, and then what's the point of having any order at all? Evil has to be punished, not forgiven, or else it'll just keep happening. And the idea that it does go unpunished drives him literally crazy. He can't handle that.

Jesse has to suffer for what he did. And I mean Jesse himself, not his kid or his girlfriend or anyone important to him, because that only piles more guilt onto him. It happens in canon, obviously, that he's abused to a point that he decides, "This is beyond enough. This is more than I ever deserved and I won't take it anymore." And he moves on to something better. But that was, like, a lot of suffering he went through. More than I ever expect he'll see in MoM (but maybe I'll be delightfully surprised).

It might also be that if he saves enough lives, he'll feel worthy of his own life. But he has trouble seeing it that way right now. Like he said, he's not making things better, he's just putting them back to how they were supposed to be. Still, it's slowly helping his self esteem. He's capable of doing something good, for a change.

What actions are unforgivable in Kara's eyes?
valr: (from their little dens)

[personal profile] valr 2014-10-18 08:56 am (UTC)(link)
jesse baby no :c

it's good he's doing something good even if it also involves peddling meth still. gives him a 'u tried' star

lots of things tbh!!! sexual assault is a huge nope, because it's a different kind of violence than killing someone and even tho she doesn't have any personal trauma in that area, it's not something she'd forgive. basically she hates people who hurt people just for the sake of it??? she can kill someone with little hesitation if she feels it's necessary and even torture them, but she takes no joy in it (there's satisfaction in a good fight, but that's different). and she finds people who do to be pretty disgusting.

though there are different rules for certain supernaturals, because she knows they're more animals than human, sometimes, and there's a sort of animalistic pleasure of the hunt that a lot of them have that she doesn't judge.

she finds killing/hurting/exploiting kids to be pretty damn unforgivable, same with hurting/killing/exploiting innocent people with no reason to. kara's killed people who technically havent done anything wrong, but she has to have a really good reason to do it. which again i think falls under that "hurting people for the fun of it is fucking gross" thing she feels.

ON A PERSONAL LEVEL while i think she could forgive most betrayal or anyone hurting her, if someone touched her wings with the intent to cause harm that's basically it. no more chances no forgiveness they're dead to her and probably dead to everyone else as well. they're a physical manifestation of her connection to valhalla so they're really important to her and she would never be able to forgive someone who tried to hurt them.

aside from what we saw in canon, what would it take for jesse to realize that walter white is a fucking monster?
Edited 2014-10-18 08:57 (UTC)
hostage: (angry ☣)

[personal profile] hostage 2014-10-18 10:04 am (UTC)(link)
...Hahaha. Jesse already knows Walt's a monster. They're both monsters. He's not in denial of that. I think that became clear to him the moment they flipped a coin to decide who would go murder the man in Jesse's basement and who would dissolve Jesse's childhood friend in a barrel of acid. It's just a matter of degrees from there. Both of them became worse and worse as time went on, which Jesse acknowledged while Walt remained in denial.

The important thing, to Jesse, is that they've been in this together from the start. He believes that they're the only ones who really know each other, who've been there for each other through it all. It's the narrative that Walt's fed him. They're partners. Everything that they did, they did to protect each other. They're bound together by the blood they've spilled.

The trick is that Jesse isn't aware of how much of that blood is his own. What drives Jesse away from Walt isn't that Walt is a monster, but the realization that Walt's the monster who's been preying on him all this time. Every time Jesse begins to pull away from Walt, it isn't because Walt's done something evil but because Walt's done something evil to him, whether it's manipulation or outright betrayal. Jesse is loyal above all else, so it's Walt's lies that hurt him more than anything. When he tries to leave the business after the Drew Sharp murder, it's not the murder itself that drives Jesse away from Walt; it's that Walt tried to manipulate and then flat-out blackmail Jesse into staying. He was leaving the business, yeah, but he wouldn't have abandoned Walt if Walt hadn't treated him like that.

And then, once Walt had already killed one partner in their business, the seed of doubt had grown enough in Jesse's mind that he naturally assumed Walt would come for him next. Because how could he tell he'd ever meant anything to Walt, once he realized it had always been lies upon lies between them?

All that to say: Jesse doesn't view Walt through rose-colored glasses. He knows Walt's character, knows that he's a killer with an explosive (heh) temper and a gigantic ego who will pretty much stop at nothing to come out on top. It's just that Jesse has come to believe it when Walt claims to care about him. It's only when the illusion of their equal partnership begins to unravel, when Jesse sees those marionette strings Walt's hooked into him, that it all falls apart between them. In any scenario, it's Walt's manipulations that are the most unforgivable to him - especially because Walt made Jesse feel guilty for so much of his own wrongdoing, and for so long.

How would Kara feel about Walt, now that we're on this subject?
valr: (over the grassland)

[personal profile] valr 2014-10-18 10:16 am (UTC)(link)
jesse why are you such trash

i think a lot of that would depend on canon point and how walt presented himself when they met, but i can't imagine her liking him very much tbh. he's got that kind of self-righteous, proud, personality that just really grates on kara. she doesn't mind people that are confident (she prefers them most times), but smug assholes are just the worst. and lbr walt is definitely a smug asshole

she could potentially feel some sympathy thing if he played the whole "i'm dying of cancer and i'm trying to look after my family" card, but i can't see her buying it for too long because he's. he's a douche. he's too volatile and self-involved for her to trust him at all, because she knows how easily dudes like that make stupid mistakes or decide to kill people who they feel slighted them.

WE'VE MADE COMPARISONS TO MIKE AND KARA BEFORE so I can see her viewing walt in a similiar way, she'd see through his bullshit a lot easier than jesse does, but i don't think she'd be interested enough to try to like - dig deeper.

unless she thought jesse was in danger from him, in which case she'd dispose of walt without hesitation even tho he's got a family because he's dying anyway so SHRUG this way there's no risk of him hurting jesse and as much as kara can pretend otherwise, she really does care about jesse

FOLLOWING THAT TRAIN OF THOUGHT

what would it take for jesse to actually believe that kara (and saul??) care about him, not just about the money?
hostage: (traumatized ☣)

[personal profile] hostage 2014-10-18 11:18 am (UTC)(link)
What does it take for Jesse to believe anyone cares about him? Honestly. It isn't about them, it's about his self esteem. He can't have healthy relationships with people as long as he's fostering such deep self-loathing. There's a voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like Walter White that tells him he's not worthy of anyone's love. And for much of his life, he hasn't seen much to refute that argument. His parents turned their backs on him. Jane was ashamed of him. His friends never cared about him on any sort of emotional level, not beyond the entertainment and drugs he provided them. By the time he got a loving and accepting partner in Andrea, he already believed he wasn't worthy of that and walked away of his own volition.

Jesse has to actually engage in some self-care before he's in a place to accept the love that other people are trying to give him. After all, he has to see himself as the kind of person that someone could care about before he can even begin to see that as a realistic scenario. It's much easier to believe that people want him for something right now, because he serves many purposes and he has put himself in a position to be sought out that way (because, to his mind, that's the only way to get any attention at all). It doesn't occur to him that people might look at him and see a person they enjoy being around just for the sake of his company. When he looks at himself, he sees a liar and an idiot and a junkie loser and a killer - and who could really want that kind of person around? To his mind, he's only worthwhile when he's providing a service.

He's only beginning to understand, after his talk with Saul, that it might be his own mind sabotaging him that way. He's been carrying around this idea that there's something inherent in him that's too ugly to love. What he's realizing is the ugly part is his own paranoia. It's not a cure to his feeling of unworthiness, but it's enough to make him pause and consider that someone's feelings toward him might be earnest. So he's willing to consider that Kara or Saul or anyone else might feel some warmth towards him. The next step is believing he deserves to be cared for, and not denying himself that the way he denied Andrea and Brock.

Has Kara ever had a great love of her life? What were they like?
valr: (out of the farmland)

[personal profile] valr 2014-10-18 01:11 pm (UTC)(link)
ugh no my heart why would you do this to me

i just want him to be able to accept a million hugs ok

SHE HAS HAD A LOVE OF HER LIFE

i think she's probably had a few but i definitely have in mind like The One that she fell for harder than the other people she's loved but i don't have all the details sorted out for it.

it was a lady soldier! and it happened surprisingly later in her life than you'd expect considering she tried to swear of dating people and falling in love with she was like. 300. but this actually went down during WWII with a russian pilot (one of the night witches!) post germany's invasion of russia. kara was sort of flitting around everywhere during that time because. valkyrie. world war. but she ended up with the russian women pilots for a little while and ended up falling for one of them (i hadn't picked a name yet but lets go with lilya).

kara looked after her during the war, and then told herself that she'd let it be, afterwards, but found herself being drawn back in.

I DECIDED JUST NOW THAT LILYA WAS THE ONLY HUMAN WHO KNEW KARA. WASN'T HUMAN

because obviously when your girlfriend just doesnt age that is gonna raise some alarm bells???? which kara would avoid by only sticking around someone for a year or two or by buying a glamour from one of the fey but she couldn't maintain it with lilya and even though they never actually had the discussion, she knew that kara wasn't human and kara knew that she knew.

it would have been really awful because kara is a piece of shit trash who would've kept just - leaving for a few months without saying goodbye and then come crawling back because she missed lilya too much. lilya just adored her, though, so she put up with this stupid, surly woman who kept fucking her around and slinking into her bed in the middle of the night and begging to be taken back. it'd been a long time since kara had let herself get that close to someone so she ended up falling really hard and lilya just sort of worked for her. i don't have a solid idea on her personality (i'm gonna write a proper thing one day about them) but lilya was exactly what kara needed and they worked so well together but

it was never going to work

they managed to stay together for a good twenty years, although obviously there were the period where kara fucked off for a while, but she was still technically with lilya when she died aged fifty seven. i also dont know the details on that bit but it wasn't natural and kara was probably really tempted to find a way to bring her back but ultimately knew that lilya wouldn't want that

AND THAT WAS THE LAST TIME KARA GOT CLOSE TO SOMEONE

which really kind of explains why she's so aggressively against the whole idea of feelings at this point because in the life of someone as old as her, fifty years ago isn't that long of a time. she makes a point of never thinking about it though, because pretending it never happened is a GREAT COPING METHOD AMIRITE like if anyone who knew them at the time mentioned it, kara would act like she had no idea what they were talking about

she's the worst

what's jesse's biggest fear?
hostage: (enraged ☣)

[personal profile] hostage 2014-10-19 08:43 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my god that is so fucking sad. I can't deal with one lover outliving the other... After so long together...

Ugh.

Jesse's biggest fear is getting away with it. Holy Jesus, that idea turns his heart to ice. Especially if he's getting away with it while everyone around him is suffering. The universe cannot operate that way. The scales have to balance eventually or his world will come to a fucking end. Jesse is essentially, all of the time, going around screaming, "Somebody please notice what I'm doing! Please stop me because I can't stop myself! Please put me out of my misery!" It's why he eventually resorts to driving through the ghetto tossing blood money out his car window. The idea that evil prevails in the end... That's just too awful for him to bear, even as someone who's on that side. When he finally turns against Walt, he doesn't say, "I'm going to make him suffer for what he did!" Jesse says, "He can't keep getting away with it!" Because that's the real horror for him. Not just a single act of evil, but evil's continuing reign. And I don't know if you noticed during that scene, but Jesse was standing in the middle of that gasoline-soaked house, not at the edge of it. He was preparing to burn along with it.

What would it take for Kara to drop some of her defenses and allow herself to be vulnerable again?
valr: (drive off the embankment)

[personal profile] valr 2014-10-19 10:37 am (UTC)(link)
I'm a terrible person :')

and ugh that sort of thing really fits in so well with how jesse views the world and like. baby jesse's obsession with superheroes and good prevailing and i'm sorry the world doesnt work like that bb :C

for kara, it'd take a lot. i mean some of it is being slow nudged away by her time in MoM, but having a few friends and being vulnerable are totally different things and it'd require a lot more time before she was willing to open up again. i think what she'd really need is someone that she wouldn't have to be scared of losing, which puts humans out of the picture, but the politics and everything of the supernatural world is so complicated that she... doesn't want to get involved long term with anyone else supernatural.

and they can also have a really short lifespan, kara's lived for so long because she keeps herself out of messes, but she knows how easily a centuries old being can be killed. she's done it herself multiple times.

of course there's the fact that by this point, she's just so closed off that she wouldn't really know where to start when it came to being vulnerable again. she doesn't want to be, it hurts and she hates and she can't see any good in it. she remembers that being in love felt good, that back in asgard it felt good to have a family, but the negative stuff is what sticks in her mind the most.

unlike say, steph, who'd think that the bad is worth the good, kara really doesn't think so.

it'd really probably take more than once person, and i think it'd take something more along the lines of family than romance to get her back to like... how she was when she was human. she has too many defenses up around romance, mostly by using sex to keep people at a distance, so i feel like it'd take people getting close to her without that element for her to finally let herself open up around them.

i really can't imagine it happening in anywhere under a few years, though, not without something kind of forcing it, like a ~life changing event~ or something like that.

at this point in time, if jesse had to choose between himself and walt going to prison, who would he choose?
hostage: (placid ☣)

[personal profile] hostage 2014-10-19 11:00 am (UTC)(link)
Himself. Are you kidding? Of course he'd rather go himself. He can't let Mr. White die in prison, away from his family. Jesse has the time to spare. It's not like he's got much going for him on the outside. He'd be a loyal partner and do his time without saying a word. Fuck whatever deals the prosecution might throw at him. He owes Walt his life, anyway. He'd be willing to make good on that straight to the electric chair.

Tell me about Kara's feelings toward Loki. Did she know Loki in her world? How do they compare?