GET IN LOSER WE'RE GOING MEMEING

[dragony]

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE HAD ONE OF THESE? I DON'T KNOW, SO WE'RE DOING IT NOW, FIGHT ME.


The TL;DR Relationship Meme

♥ post with your characters - if you have a lot, consider a catch-all/nested comments under one header
♥ respond to other people's characters with your characters
♥ they tell you in detail what their character thinks of your character, ic or ooc! tl;dr is encouraged.
♥ then you react if you want!
♥ other people do the same thing to you! maybe you harvest your tl;dr to use in a CR chart later!
♥ this was stolen from a thousand billion people over the years, jesus, but this is an example of how it goes down
♥ everybody is gonna show up late to this party so don't even worry about it

Comments

[crab]

whos this douchebag

[dragony]

this fucker

okay i'm going to skip over all the early stuff since we both know that front to back and will instead focus on the NOW

the really emotionally unstable and inconsistent now

which is depressing as fuck, fair warning to everyone else

so AS YOU KNOW, Ruka was in a pretty heavy denial that the world of the city (and holy crap we still need a better name for cncverse) was going to end, and while she was right that "they" (imports) weren't going to die or cease to exist, she was wrong about, you know, the rest of the world. While she was irritated at being wrong, she's much, much more devastated by the fact that it was destroyed with no hope of resurrection than she lets on, or is willing to admit. Spoilers-not-spoilers, not as emotionally detached as she pretends. As a result, though, the stress of losing All Of That (both the physical comforts and resources as well as the reminders and markers left behind by the people she's loved) has her nerves and defenses frayed.

The subsequent losses of both Rua and Eridan--two of her three ~most important people~--has left her even more unsteady, and in a way, she can be likened to an electrical wire with almost all of the casing and grounding forces stripped away. She's an exposed and sparking high-voltage power cable in the middle of the road, and Karkat's trying to wrangle her back onto the electrical pole without taking the effort to protect his hands, and lacks the resources to put casing back onto the wire, or shut the power off at the source.

(I mean with his powers I'm pretty sure he COULD but promises promises)

this metaphor got extended but i think you get the picture

Anyway, how this manifests is, despite how much she loves karkat and cares about him, and how much she knows she needs him around, any time he "threatens" what little cover she feels she has left, the reaction is much more violent than it deserves. She's terrified of losing him, but she's just as terrified of hurting him in some irrevocable way by the weight of her feelings. You were right on key with the hedgehog analogy: she still wants to help him and be there for him, but she hurts him by getting close, and she hurts him by drawing away -- the same is true in reverse.

Things aren't getting better, and she doesn't know how to make them better, or how to make herself make them better. During Karkat's short stay at Kanaya's, she's coming to the conclusion that--even if the loss destroys her--it would be better for Karkat not to be burdened by her at all. When he gets/got back, he'll get a lot of silent treatment and drawing away, emotionally.

If she's going to overload, short out, or mixing-metaphors drown in her own stupid heart, she doesn't want to take him down with her.