etcelsior | HE TOLD ME SEVERAL TIMES THAT HE DIDN'T LIKE MY KIND

Entry tags:

HE TOLD ME SEVERAL TIMES THAT HE DIDN'T LIKE MY KIND

TEST DRIVE MEME

Considering apping into MASK OR MENACE? Want to dip your toes into the setting and get a feel of whether your character will fit into it? Or maybe you're just cruising and want to play around? Then you've come to the right place!

Pick any of the following scenarios below or feel free to make up your own, but don't be afraid to throw yourself at someone else's thread, either!

And remember to have fun!

01. The city of Heropa is what one might expect from a small, bright and cheery place, where locals are friendly enough and local shop owners might offer a free drink to welcome you to their fair city. Some of the locals might thank you for always lending your service to the nation and others might not say anything. In fact, some people might back away from any imPort who quite obviously looks like they aren't from around the neighborhood. Once in a while there's a look of disdain on someone's face and hushed voices.

An upset, deeply masculine voice wonders aloud: "More of them, when we already know they can't protect us? That's just painting a bigger target on the city's back!"

"That's just what Ronald Chump says!" Exclaims a young woman. She raises her fist in anger at the imPort-hating individual. "We're not going to tolerate bigots here!"

02. De Chima, Virginia, is a large city with a healthy economy, and though it's quieter, there are just as many citizens awed at your presence. Science and technology are the lifeblood of this city, so you're likely to come across a good many locals taking your picture with the newest of devices. Be forewarned: since FanPort happened, imPort fandom is at a new height. Don't be surprised if people start following you just to see if you'll do anything TMZ-worthy.

The trick is to stay calm, and don't wig out if someone asks what you think about imPort shipping.

03. Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania, is having a rainy day. The streets seem to be running with water, the sky can't seem to stop crying. You might want to check out some consumerism-inclined shelter, be that a smoky and dart-eyed bar full of grumbling locals, or a grimy and industrial coffee shop (full of grumbling locals). Watch your step, newly minted imPort, because if you let on that you're fresh meat then you're likely to attract a posse of two or three sharp knuckled no-good-dooers. This is the criminally exciting part of town, so beware.

04. Nonah, North Carolina, is the liveliest of all cities; loud, busy and there's some kind of energy in the air that gets everyone buzzing with excitement. There's a baseball game going on in one of the parks amidst all those tall buildings, and you're welcome to watch! It's not an official game in the season, it's more like a friendly skirmish between local baseball teams. Midway through the game, the umpire might take note of you new imPorts -- assuming you're standing out in the crowd. He'll welcome you to throw a pitch if you'd like! Of course, the opposing team isn't too keen on the idea. Better look for more imPorts to play ball!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Gregor has instant sympathy for this person, in a deep pang. He doesn't often respond to network posts, but this one he feels compelled to. Some of his sympathetic friendliness is evident in his eyes. It doesn't occur to him instantly to speak in the royal plural, since that's incredibly formal to Gregor, and he only defaults to it when he speaks on behalf of Barrayar and not just himself. ]

I'm sorry, but your household likely isn't present here. My retinue didn't arrive with me either; just a close friend of mine. Our titles have little bearing while we're here, without subjects.

[ the informality of the response is jarring, at first, but he's heard others speak here the same way, and.. perhaps it's common in this place. perhaps it's even expected. even so, maia can't bring himself to do it just yet; it's not natural for him, and the intimacy of it makes his face heat. not for the first time, he's grateful his ugly skin hides such reactions.

he doesn't slump, but his ears dip the faintest hint, disappointed and worried. ] We feared as much. [ it's a struggle not to show curiousity as much as it is not to show disappointment. these people are so foreign, and if what he understands is true, then this man is in a.. similar position? ] Our title may be meaningless here, but.. we remain Edrehasivar the Seventh, regardless. [ he can't exactly put it all away, unfortunately, even if no one else from the elflands is here. perhaps especially then-- he's the face of his empire, after all.

his hands squeeze together, fingers unconsciously seeking his crest-ring and turning it on the finger. ] We would-- [ a brief pause, ears flicking uncertainly, gray eyes meeting the other man's. if he looks a little too interested, he hopes the slip will at least be ignored. ] We would be grateful to know to whom we speak.

[ Seeing how worried he looks-- and how formal he continues to be-- Gregor decides to see if matching his formality won't provide a bit of comfortable familiarity for him, much like the novelty when someone correctly addresses him by title. He feels the same, that for all his talk of being no emperor without an empire, he cannot abandon what is intrinsically part of his soul and his identity.

Correspondingly, it's quite easy to tap into some of his Imperial bearing; he's been able to call that up on command for years now, for all he rarely does it here. He subtly straightens, and his tone evens, although there is still a quiet sympathy to him. ]

We are Gregor Vorbarra, Emperor of the Barrayaran Imperium, although we don't often speak so formally while we're here. [ A slight quirk of his mouth, self-deprecating. ] We hesitate to say that our title is meaningless, even so. More limited in scope. But you shouldn't worry that you will be entirely friendless or unsupported; we've found that to be increasingly true the less titles are involved.

[ Titles being indicators of power, power being the one true leveler of human greed and selfishness, which Gregor well knows. He's much happier having nothing much of value to offer to those who befriend him here. It's more honest by far. ]

[ despite himself, the near-invisible tension in his shoulders does seem to ease faintly. the translation the device provides is imperfect, but it's better than nothing. and in a strange place surrounded by strange people, without so much as his nohecharei, anything familiar is embarrassingly welcome.

he's never heard of the barrayaran imperium--unsurprisingly, given this stranger's unusual colouring and ears--but it's comforting to think that someone in maia's position has managed this place. he even seems.. content, perhaps? at ease in his skin, at the very least, which is far more than what maia can see. hast been here longer, surely.

he hesitates, head tilting faintly, ears lifting. ] If not your title, we would.. be glad to know how you prefer to be known. [ this is already turning into one of the stranger encounters he's had in his short reign. this emperor speaks of support, of friends, as if it's only to be expected. .. perhaps it is, in his court. perhaps his lands are more like the barizheise in tradition.

his eyes dip briefly, lips pressing thin. he sucks in a breath through his nose, though, glance coming back up. ] We do not.. seek to impose our rule on-- on these lands. Truthfully, nothing could be further from the truth. [ if he could just be maia drazhar again, he'd love nothing better. ] But we cannot.. [ he struggles to find the words to explain, brows drawing together faintly. ] We cannot entirely set aside the trappings of our office, either. Were one of our subjects to arrive, we cannot.. not be their emperor. [ he hesitates, and then more softly: ] But we can be Edrehasivar, without stylings.

[ That was apparently the right move, from the subtle way he seems to relax. Gregor has to forcibly remind himself to sustain the plural, but it comes more naturally the more he does it-- mirroring Edrehasivar's speech makes it easier.

The topic itself is, as his conversational partner has noticed, complicated and difficult to articulate. Gregor has been struggling with this selfsame dilemma of late, about how much he is just himself and how much he is emperor in any given moment. Reconciling the two, melding them together rather than trying to escape his station seems ideal, but in practice it is confusing and contradictory. ]

If it doesn't scandalize you, we're fine with simply Gregor. We should ask the same-- are you called Edrehasivar, then? [ Only a tiny fumble on the foreign word; he's had enough diplomatic and linguistic training for that. ]

We understand completely, [ he says softly. ] Most of our subjects here are members of our extended family, and so not normally subject to much overview. Yet even were none here at all, we are still representative of Barrayar and the confluence of voices for our people. We try to be conscientious of that weight and agree to nothing that would shame them.

[ A short beat. ] Yet by and large this is a chance for freedom. [ Gregor gets the feeling already that this is a truly kindred spirit, in a way many of the other titled nobility he's met here are not, in feeling entrapped in his role and almost smothered. Yet wary and disbelieving of ever existing outside of it, either... ]

[ gregor. it seems a great deal like his given name, which is another thing that seems very different from what maia knows. do barrayaran emperors not choose a dynastic name? it seems impolite to be given emperor vorbarra's given name and not give his own in return, but..

he finds his face is hot again, ears dipping before he can quite stop them. ] Edrehasivar is our dynastic name. We are-- It would be inappropriate to share our given name with those that we do not personally know well. [ his glance darts back up, apologetic even if he's technically not allowed to utter the words. ] Perhaps.. we will become familiar enough in our time here together. [ he thinks he'd like that. and surely it wouldn't be inappropriate to befriend this foreign emperor. they'd never even come into contact, were they not here, after all. and it's not as if it doesn't suit their stations.

thou'rt a fool, he decides a moment later, though, despairingly. surely, once gregor realizes how tongue-tied in common conversation he can become, how uninteresting and uneducated he is--

he shakes himself of the thought, instead focusing on the other man's words. extended family.. that would explain it, to some degree. isn't maia on good terms now with his nephew and nieces, after all? and even vedero has warmed to him somewhat, though he wouldn't dream of speaking as familiarly to her as he does to his heir. still, he could.. relax somewhat, in their presence. ] We.. did not mean to imply that you would ever do otherwise. [ a beat, and then, gently: ] We apologize. [ beshelar would be furious, but beshelar isn't here. ] We must admit, our reign thus far has been.. [ he hesitates, looking for a diplomatic way to phrase it. ] .. marked by misfortune. [ that's.. one way to put it, anyway. ] We have been emperor for less than a year. [ if that helps the other man understand why maia is hesitant to be anything less than perfectly composed. ]

[ He'll take that as a yes, he is scandalized. And then-- that explains quite a lot.

Gregor's tone gentles as well. ] There's no apology necessary, Your Imperial Majesty. [ His own signal that he won't press him for his name. ] This is a trying circumstance and it took us a significant amount of time to find our bearings as well. We're sincerely grieved that you've been met with such difficulty upon coronation. We were made emperor when we were five, so we had a long regency during which to acclimate ourselves to the role.

[ Whether he wanted to or not, really. ]

As for names, we would be honored if eventually we grew familiar enough to be given leave to use yours. Forgive us any misstep; that's not a custom Barrayarans have. [ Gregor appears to have no qualms whatsoever about appearing apologetic if he likes. ]

[ oh, he's already made a misstep, entirely without meaning to. he shakes his head, earrings and hair-ornaments chiming softly with the motion. ] We do not-- That is, we would be glad for you to call us Edrehasivar. We are.. of a rank.. [ he trails off, feeling awkward, even a little shy. his hands twist together in his lap. ] And perhaps, with a little time, we can.. [ he trails off again, a little lamely, feeling a bit stupid. their cultures seem so different already. ] Edrehasivar is the name we chose for our reign, but it is still.. our name. [ he doesn't want gregor to feel he has to use a title with him. it's just that.. 'maia' still feels too intimate for someone he's just met. but maybe, given time..

he clears his throat, forcing his ears back up again. ] We were not.. expected to inherit. We were our father's fourth-- [ and despised ] --son. We would certainly be glad of any advice that you wish to share during our time here. [ a beat, then a tiny sigh. ] It has been.. a great deal to attempt to learn.

Oh, I see. Sorry-- it's not typical to speak like this for, ah, us, either. [ Gregor is no stranger to feeling shy and hopes displaying some of his own innate awkwardness will help. He can batten down on his composure and be completely without error, but... that's not the right tactic here at all, and it's not natural for him, either. He gives a tiny smile. ] Barrayar is strongly military and discourages any affectations such as choosing our name. Properly we are seen as commander in chief more than reigning monarch.

[ Vor are not all that good at being deferential, actually. Subordinate they do very well depending on personality, but subservient is not in their archetype. Too prideful.

Watching the movement of his ears is interesting... a little endearing, and seemingly very telling. Fourth son, eh. Obviously an enormous family tragedy behind that. Gregor recognizes that, too, and only says: ] We would be glad to share whatever we may with someone from so different a culture. But surely certain things are universal. [ With some humanizing dryness, ] Such as endless lessons.

[ despite himself, the awkward pause and correction at the beginning earns the smallest of smiles, fragile warmth unfurling in his chest. it's.. good to see that even more experienced rulers can be a little uncertain of themselves, and.. gregor is kind. ]

If.. [ the tiny smile edges upward faintly, still looking a little hesitant at the corners. ] That is to say, we are not offended if your speech is typically otherwise. It was shocking at first, because we are unaccustomed to it, but we would not wish you to feel uncomfortable.

[ that said, he eases back a little more in his chair, ears perking up with interest. ] Are the offices not the same? [ after all, ultimately, maia is both, so he's not quite certain where the delineation would be in gregor's case. ] We must admit, we would like to know more about Barrayar, and about you. [ is that too forward? the idea of making a friend--one that hasn't essentially been chosen for him, to serve some pre-decided function--is admittedly appealing.

he hesitates, ears flattening back a little with embarrassment. ] .. May we also ask.. how do you manage without your edocharei? We see that your hair is very short, so that must not be terribly difficult, but.. [ he lifts a hand to touch one of the number of ornaments woven and braided and pinned into his hair. as gregor can doubtless see, his is.. much more complicated. ]

[ There we go, confirmation that that is the right track. Gregor consciously lessens some of his affected formality and composure. He'd thought it would make him more comfortable, but maybe it was best served to smooth over the transition, the shock of being here. ]

We would wish the same of you, [ he says more lightly. ] It seems a small thing for me to change the way I speak to make you more comfortable in a situation like this. [ So he'll just slip back and forth as he likes, as a compromise, which honestly is how Gregor normally speaks anyway. Just with a far different ratio of plural to singular. ]

Edocharei? We're not familiar. [ A bit of a curious look as he draws attention to his hair, before he goes on, seeing his embarrassment and not wanting to focus on it. ] And no, the offices aren't quite the same. The ruling class of Barrayar is the Vor; we consider ourselves a military caste rather than nobility. This might seem a fine distinction, but it informs a significant portion of our governance. For example, the Emperor does not tax his Counts; We receive birthday presents of gold coin each year.

[ The shift to truly Imperial We rather than humoring the conversational style is somehow audible. ]

[ it is a small thing, really, but it's a small kindness from a stranger who has no reason to be kind to him. maia is unaccustomed to that much, as well, and it's probably pathetically obvious, but he can't bring himself to care overmuch. ]

We confess that it has helped. This entire ordeal has been.. shocking. [ overwhelming, confusing, frightening. embarrassing.

no edocharei, though.. perhaps in a military caste, with a military focus, they aren't necessary. but here, he's not certain how he's expected to look presentable without at least someone to dress his hair. he's certainly never learned the elaborate and confusing styles his edocharei work the tangled mess into.

but then, perhaps it doesn't matter so much here. how would anyone other than maia know what's appropriate for him or not? and surely, even if others of his court arrive, the state of his hair and clothing would be the last thing they'd find to be shocked at.

his hands finally uncurl, one lifting to brush a knuckle thoughtfully over his mouth. ] It.. seems a very unusual way of arranging things. We suspect that it is a matter of pride which keeps it from becoming a tax..?

What little we may do to ease the transition, we're happy to do.

[ Gregor is putting together a picture of Edrehasivar's life as it presently stands and it's not a pleasant image. It includes a disgusting amount of duplicitous sycophants with knives behind their backs, as Gregor is used to contending with, but is also used to having Aral as a shield against until he'd learned to shield himself. It seems to him Edrehasivar had had no time for that, and it's made him tentative and possibly anxious... rightfully so, seeing sharks and knowing no way out of the water. And possibly too, like Gregor, he was just a shy person by nature, thrust into the spotlight.

It makes Gregor more frank and forthcoming than he ordinarily is with strangers; he lets out a soft breath of humor, not quite a laugh, but the crinkles around his eyes make it obvious. ] You can call it bizarre, we've heard it all before. We're the backwater barbarians of the galaxy, I'm afraid. But yes, it's pride. Oftentimes We feel as if we're herding cats, with our Counts; willful and liable to bite you if you pet them the wrong way.

[ oh. the genuine display of good humour earns a small smile in return, amusement flickering into pale gray eyes. ] A cat is the device of the House Drazhada-- our House. [ he crooks his finger over his mouth to hide the smile. ] We know all about herding them already.

[ gods, he'd made a joke. not a particularly funny one, perhaps, but it speaks worlds to how much more relaxed he is now than he was at the beginning of this conversation.

the amusement softens, though, into gentle sympathy. ] Truly, we would say it is no more bizarre than our own court, which we also find very backwards at times.

[ Progress, definitely progress. Gregor smiles back, equally slight, equally genuine. ] We are jealous, [ he confesses. ] I adore cats. We as Vorbarra were given only olive leaves over a river.

[ Now he makes a soft encouraging noise, hoping to elicit more. ] What about it has most puzzled you? It must be an adjustment period scarcely less shocking than this one.

A curious device for the House of a warrior caste. [ he'd be interested to know the thought behind it.

the question earns a tired glance, though, his ears flattening back in thought. ] Oh.. where would we truly begin? We are apparently a highly unusual emperor, in that we question and change many things. [ a pause, and his glance is drawn back down to his thumb and the oath-ring that rests there. he turns it absently. ]

The role of women in our society, perhaps.. particularly in the nobility. We find that there is great worth in them outside of marriage and the getting of children. [ a glance back up, cautious but determined. ]

Oh-- olive leaves for victory, the river for Vorbarr Sultana, our capital. [ He decides not to explain that a lot of mammals didn't take well on Barrayar; he's been attempting not to introduce too many concepts at once, such as space travel and terraforming.

Besides, he'd rather hear about this. And, indeed, hearing this makes his respect instantly ratchet upwards a few notches, past what mere sympathy had provoked. It was how prepared he was to defend it, as much as the sentiment itself. With supreme dryness, ] You mean perhaps we shouldn't ignore the intrinsic capabilities of half of our population, and consign them to silent, demeaning subservience in the process? That is changing in our reign, too.

I think... if we are not upsetting our advisers, we are a poor representative of our people, Edrehasivar. Complacency is an insult to our duty.

[ he was fully prepared to have to defend his viewpoint from someone who found him naive, idealistic, but gregor's agreement earns a slightly startled blink. perhaps he shouldn't be surprised, though. he can't really compare the other man to anyone at home, exactly.

his small smile returns, quietly relieved. ] The divide is less notable outside of the noble class. One of our nohecharei is a woman, in fact, and there are women in the universities and guilds. The court is slow to change, though, and we find the idea of women being forced to marry against their will.. barbaric, at best. [ there's no escaping he and csethiro's marriage, he knows, but at least they're fond of one another now. and he hopes that things will change in the future. he intends to push for them, at least.

the small smile warms faintly, ears perking up. ] We would agree. We are lucky, though, in that our new chancellor is a forward-thinking and loyal man. We do not always agree on matters, but not because he is uninformed or hidebound.

[ He nods. ] Arranged marriage, much less forced marriage, is losing its grip on Barrayar even among the Vor. Thank God. I've refused to participate in that entrapment myself; hopefully it will send a trend. [ Gregor has deeply personal feelings about not forcing women into marriage given his own parents. His mother's life and her eventual fate has given him a thorn in his side about women's rights that he usually tries to be subtle about, given how much it upsets conservatives; but here he has no need to be diplomatic. ]

That is fortunate, [ Gregor notes, with evident approval. He's happy to see him growing more comfortable, slowly, like coaxing out a skittish animal. ] It's equally important to have people on your side who will disagree with you. Much easier to take than when your opponents do it. [ A small curl of humor at the end. ]

But what is a nohecharei? That's not the first time you've mentioned them.

.. We wish we could say the same. [ his face feels hot. ] We.. have little choice in the matter, though, and our future empress even less. Even so.. [ his glance falls to the oath-ring again, and he twists it on his thumb, the iron warm from his body heat. ] We think nevertheless that we would try to change it if Dach'osmin Ceredin were not.. satisfied with us.

[ that's enough about that subject, though. he doesn't really want to talk about his impending marriage, or how much he dreads it--though he is becoming fond of csethiro--and all it entails.

the question of nohecharei makes his ears flick up slightly. that's right. lord vorkosigan hadn't known the term, either. ] It seems to be a concept that is.. unique to our world, perhaps. Our nohecharei are.. [ he touches fingers thoughtfully to his mouth. ] Armsmen, in a way, but more than that. There are two that guard us at all times, soldier and maza. [ a tiny sigh. ] And we certainly mean at all times. They remain with us until our death, upon which time-- [ his voice falters, then softens unhappily. ] Our nohecharei guard us in death, as well.

[ Oh-- he hadn't meant to shame him at all. Damn. Nonetheless Gregor isn't hasty with his words as he tries to backtrack, notices him looking down at a ring. Guesses it is his engagement ring, thinks with a startled wistful pang about having one of his own with Miles one day... ]

We don't mean to impugn your situation. If you can find satisfaction in your arrangement, we are honestly glad for you. It is the one place we have remained obstinate on, the one... thing I am taking for myself. [ A conscious shift this time in his pronouns, as he lets out a slow breath. ] There is no one else who may rule in our place without violence over it, so at the least we demand we are allowed to choose our own spouse.

[ Marriage is such a predominant topic for Gregor, especially right now with Miles, for all that he's been putting off that discussion and leaving it to ferment in the back of his brain. But he too understands it as fraught and tries to shift himself to listen intently, instead, to the latter half of this.

He tries to push past the sadness at the end, imagines himself knowing that his guards will die when he does and has to suppress a shiver. Gregor, too, is soft-hearted that way. ] It must be profoundly strange to be here without them, [ he says with sympathy. ] Perhaps a relief to have that privacy, God knows, but strange.

[ he shakes his head immediately at the backtracking, jewelry chiming with the movement, smile returning for a moment. ] We did not feel offended. We simply.. [ he hesitates for a few quiet moments, searching for the words to explain. ] We wished to caveat that.. though we make strides toward change, it is sometimes slow-going. As in the case of our-- our impending marriage. [ his small smile widens by degrees, warming. ] Though we are heartened to hear that you will choose your own partner. We dearly hope that it will be someone you love.

[ he's not sure if he and csethiro will ever be in love in the way of a husband and wife, but he thinks that at the least, they can be friends. he thinks they'll be able to at least love one another that way. .. it would be good to feel that close to her. and he certainly intends for their relationship to lack the restrictions of his father's relationships with his empresses. he wants csethiro to be happy.

his expression smooths again at the sentiment, faintly puzzled and a little concerned. ] Truthfully.. we are somewhat embarrassed to say that we have grown so accustomed to them already that it is quite strange-- [ lonely, actually. ] --to be here alone. We think of them as friends. [ and he has precious few of those. ]

[ Gregor smiles back more openly, suddenly looking very casual indeed; he's able to turn his Imperial bearing on and off like a light switch, and without it, he could be just about anyone. It's hard not to with Edrehasivar looking increasingly relaxed in turn. ] They will be. I'm one of those unfortunate romantics, I'm afraid. And you're right-- change is very slow. [ Shaking his head slightly, he goes on, ] To tell the truth, our empire is experiencing a time of radical upheaval as it is; we do not wish to shock her overmuch.

There's nothing embarrassing about that. Although not the same, Armsmen are considered part of the family and we confess we are unused to going without ours. You turn around and expect them to be there, or your secretary, at least, scolding you for ducking your schedule, and... [ Ruefully, ] They're not.

Edited 2016-05-26 21:10 (UTC)

[ there's a pause, then a little tiredly: ] Yes, we understand completely. [ he's fought tooth and claw for every little change he's made. and gods, don't get him started on his bridge.

the mention of a secretary earns a slightly wistful look. it's true, isn't it? he's grown so accustomed to csevet, and to his nohecharei and edocharei, this household he'd sworn he'd never take for granted-- but has he? he's allowed them to do so much for him for so long.. especially csevet.

when he gets home--whenever that might be--he really must reward him somehow. ]

We truly would be quite lost without our secretary. Our first months in our capital were only manageable due to his great assistance. [ it's probably apparent how fond of csevet he is, but he doesn't care. gregor certainly doesn't seem inclined to judge him for such things, especially given that the other man considers his armsmen family. ]

We're sorry. We seem to have diverted us onto a depressing topic of conversation. We could discuss what we have changed, as victories.

[ Indeed, Gregor smiles a little, warm and sincere. ] We can imagine. We had the benefit of many years of training, though we didn't see it as a benefit at the time, [ he says dryly. ] Your secretary is your first line of defense for your schedule. If they're not on your side, you'll just get run ragged with presumptuous demands-- [ A shrewd look. ] Especially if they think you're easily taken advantage of.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

HE TOLD ME SEVERAL TIMES THAT HE DIDN'T LIKE MY KIND

2!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject