mercy meme

[magnitudes]

forced truth meme

1. Post your character(s)
2. People respond to your character with a question

3. Your character must reply, and they must reply honestly
4. ????
5. Have fun. Fun is obligatory. Lack of fun will result in severe repercussions.

Comments

trust me, i am shitpost empress

[deadtective]

Why? It's the same as imagining yours.

[she can't help it is this is the only source of energy she can live off of now. it's too much fun winding him up like this - especially when it's so easy.]

i refuse

[unbreaker]

No, it's fucking not. In this context my dick's the fucking greatest there is because you're the only one who's allowed to see it other than me!

then you will have a buffet of regrets

[deadtective]

[that makes such little sense it causes Hazel to start laughing all over again. she has to press her forehead to his captured hand for a moment or two before she's ready to actually form a sentence.]

It's a little late to be saying shit like that when you've been flashing everyone on the network, don't you think?

[yeah, she saw that nightmare of a conversation with Captain Cold. she laughed her ass off then too.]

ah, so the usual fare, i see

[unbreaker]

Are you talking about the calendars? That was completely decent!

yeah except now it's open extra late

[deadtective]

No, I'm talking about all your secret dick pics.

[well, 'secret']

...i meant as in food although now i'm imagining deep fried regret

[unbreaker]

I don't have a secret stash, all the ones you plastered on my wall are long gone.

Unless...ugh.......are you talking about that conversation with what's-his-name? I kinda figured you put him up to that!

you can physically taste the empty calories in it

[deadtective]

Me? That hurts, Josuke. I'd never force somebody to stare at something that boring.

[WHAT A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY TO YOUR FAVORITE PERSON HER HEART'S BREAKING CAN YOU HEAR IT]

dnw

[unbreaker]

Wow...that hurts. Thanks a lot, Lockwood.

[Actually, that pout is genuine. Who knew a boy's feelings could be so fragile!]

too late

[deadtective]

[girls, apparently.]

Oh, you'll get over it. Just think about how popular you are and it'll all vanish.

[unbreaker]

Can I get over it instead by tossing you into a snowbank?

[deadtective]

Mmmm...nope! Turns out Florida's fresh out of them. Guess you'll just have to wallow in mediocrity instead.

[unbreaker]

Florida's got sharks! And alligators! I could feed you to those instead!

[deadtective]

Wild animals don't eat garbage. Try again!

[unbreaker]

We can always go with pigs, they'll eat anything and you love them.

[deadtective]

I mean, yeah, but green's not really a flattering color on you.

[unbreaker]

Since when do you give a fuck about how I feel!

[deadtective]

It's not about how you feel, it's how you look! Shit, keep up.

[unbreaker]

Excuse you, but green is one of my best colors if we're not talking about jealousy. Not that I get jealous or anything. I totally don't.

[deadtective]

Says the guy who nearly busted a vein over other people's dicks and a bunch of pigs making me their queen.

[unbreaker]

Shut it.

[deadtective]

Ok, ok, whatever you want. It's easier for me to think about all these dicks that aren't yours when it's quiet.

[to further illustrate her point she finally lets go of his hand so that she can clap hers cheerfully against her ears. mmmm, dicks.]

[unbreaker]

[Fine, she wants to be like that, he's just gonna boot her in the ass to demonstrate what a pain she's been in his!]

[deadtective]

[he should really see what's coming next. the swift kick, while utterly painless, definitely startles her. Hazel lets out a squawk of surprise and instantly retaliates - by trying to slam her foot right into the topic that started this whole mess in the first place.]

[unbreaker]

[Joke's on her, he's ready for that this time! And manages to grab her foot and push her over on her backside before the offending limb can crash into his goods!]

[deadtective]

[she goes down screaming, collapsing into a mess of limbs and obscenities as she hits the ground. hopefully he's also prepared for his girlfriend to behave like a literal toddler, because instead of attempting to right herself she goes immediately into a full-blown tantrum, squalling and thrashing her legs viciously against his shins.

this is what you get jealous over, Josuke. just think about that for a minute or two.]