etcelsior | CONFESSIONS MEME

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CONFESSIONS MEME

1. Post a comment with your character spilling their confessions and innermost thoughts for all to see
2. Go around and comment to other characters ICly, expressing shock, awe, disgust, anger, etc.
3. Discuss, accuse, commiserate, threadjack, etc.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm not.

Really. You never deliberately poke at people to annoy them.

Of course I do sometimes. Everyone's an arsehole sometimes. That's not the same as being - I don't try to drive people away, why the fuck would I do that? Admitting I know the obvious fact that lots of people don't like me doesn't mean I do that on purpose, it just means I know it would be stupid to pretend I haven't noticed that people get tired of me.

Edited 2017-06-16 23:10 (UTC)

Some people, they fear rejection, and so they try to get a head start with it. "Ah, they didn't leave me because I opened myself up to them and they didn't like what they saw, they left me because I bothered them until I drove them away." They make people leave because they imagine it hurts less that way. You see?

It doesn't actually hurt any less. So.

Then my honest advice - calm down a bit. You try far too hard to make people like you, and that, I'd wager, drives people away far more than anything else.

I just -

Look, I'm not actually. It probably sounds better if I just agree. Then I can fix it. But I'm just - I'm like this. I'm already trying to be less, you understand? And it still looks like that to you. So. But people like all sorts of shitty things. Sooner or later someone will like, you know. This.

It still looks like that to me because it's been-- what, a few months? At most. Give it more time.

How old are you again? Twenty-four?

I'm not talking about here. Just about - me.

Yeah, and I'm asking you how old you are. You're very young - young enough to change, if you wanted to.

I'm 24. The thing is, I am actually not trying to make people like me. Why do I have to change?

( the worst confession: she is actually just like this. she doesn't come in a gentler flavor. )

To fit in with humans better? I tried. I didn't like it.

Edited 2017-06-17 00:15 (UTC)

Humans-- are you not a human?

[He absolutely does not believe that she doesn't want to make people like her, but he's going to leave that aside for now, because what.]

( it's definitely more complicated than she's presenting it, the push and pull between what she wants and what she does and why- however. )

No. I'm not.

What are you?

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I haven't tried to annoy you on purpose.

-- This here, this "I robbed a bank with an old man". You know I've been accused of bank robbery, and you and I have got that little joke about me being old. You're gonna say this wasn't a joke about me? Did you really rob a bank with an old man?

[Because if so, he kind of wants to hear that story.]

Oh my god, did you just think I -

I was waiting for him in his office and he'd forgotten and he just - he'd just robbed some place - I actually thought he was going to fucking shoot me and he opened the whiskey instead and offered to take me and I was definitely too drunk but he was all what about a little bank, Gwen! And I wanted to do it.

And I was kind of high on adrenaline from not getting shot.

( no yeah that happened. the man in black is wild. )

Also not everything is about you.

No, but it seems like a thing you'd do, doesn't it. You like the age jokes; you like poking fun.

He sounds like a fucking terrible bank robber. Was he caught?

If I thought they actually bothered you I wouldn't do it.

He wasn't. No.

Shame. Terrible criminals get in the way of the rest of us.

It doesn't bother me in that it stays in my head or keeps me up at night. Yeah? There are degrees to it.

I wouldn't have said this as a joke. Because of your shitty bank robbery thing. I don't actually want to be a cunt to you. I can be too much when I'm trying to be playful but honestly, even I wouldn't have gone there.

I wasn't offended. Just annoyed, a bit. The way I am when you try to take pictures of me for native kids against my wishes.

[He hasn't forgotten that one, either.]

Like I said. Playful sometimes misses the mark.

Playful often does with me.

[Not always, but. Often.]

I do learn from my mistakes, though. I don't fuck up the same way twice.