CONFESSIONS MEME

[devoutish]

1. Post a comment with your character spilling their confessions and innermost thoughts for all to see
2. Go around and comment to other characters ICly, expressing shock, awe, disgust, anger, etc.
3. Discuss, accuse, commiserate, threadjack, etc.

Comments

[dr_eldarov]

You couldn't have come up with anything else to do in response to the business ventures than murder?

[devoutish]

I could've come up with alternatives in both cases, but I didn't, because I decided that murder was the best option there.

If it makes you feel better, mate, the men I was doing business with were very, very bad people.

[dr_eldarov]

Truly, no, it doesn't. I am sorry, but this is not a way of life I can give my approval to. I do not hate you, I simply cannot approve of such measures.

[devoutish]

And I won't ask you to.

[dr_eldarov]

I am not, for the record, judging you. God knows I contemplated murder once. I thought about it at great length and with very little thought towards if it was right or not. I have no ground to stand on, there. This is... disappointing, I think is perhaps the best word for it.

[devoutish]

I'm a gangster. Haven't mentioned that yet, have I.

[dr_eldarov]

No. Somehow, that slipped your mind in previous conversations. [Dry snark. Dry as the fucking desert.]

[devoutish]

Well, it's not a very pleasant topic, is it. Now, it's not so much a big secret here, but generally I only bring it out when I wanna bait someone.

[dr_eldarov]

Bait them?

[devoutish]

Sure, yeah, the ones who storm around making it clear that now that they're here, all crime had better stop and quick.

[dr_eldarov]

And why would you do that, exactly? Oy gevalt, I need a drink...

[devoutish]

Entertainment, honestly.

[dr_eldarov]

I won't even pretend I understand your logic on that point.

[devoutish]

You can't see the humor in getting them to try playing big bad police man over the network? Well. That's all right; we've got other sorts of humor in common, you and I.

[dr_eldarov]

Some, perhaps, if you were not in the habit of taking human life.

[devoutish]

Yeah. It is a very dirty business that I've got.

[dr_eldarov]

The worst kind, [he agreed coldly.] Yet you have no regrets that I can see. That is the most disturbing part, it reminds me of... someone I used to know. Which makes me much more hesitant to ever be in the same room with you alone now. Rape is a small step to take from murder on the morality scale.

[devoutish]

If a killing is something I'm gonna regret, I make a point of not doing it. So no regrets, no - or at least, very few.

But I have got limits.

[dr_eldarov]

That's still disheartening to hear.

And I have precisely one line I won't allow anyone else to ever cross without flatout electrifying them here. Are we clear?

[devoutish]

Does that make you judge, jury, and executioner?

[dr_eldarov]

You can electrocute someone without killing them. At great length. I'm not entirely sure I even have enough electricity to kill someone. I wouldn't try it. But some things need some kind of lashback.

I don't claim a moral highground. I am very, very broken. But I am mostly comfortable with it.

[devoutish]

So am I.

[dr_eldarov]

My brokenness has not involved hurting someone else since the war. Normally... it's easy for a doctor to treat and hide his own wounds, if you catch my meaning. I don't put those feelings on someone else. I don't take their lives.

I don't think I could. I think it might break me. So I just simply cannot comprehend how others do it. I still have nightmares about enemy soldiers I killed during the Great War; even here, the guilt never leaves me.

In some very sick way, I envy people who can move on from such acts as if nothing happened. It is an ability I have always lacked.

[devoutish]

Now, I'm not broken. I don't do this because I'm wounded. What I meant was that I'm comfortable with what I do.

[dr_eldarov]

If you're comfortable with this, that is a kind of brokenness unto itself. Which I don't look down upon you much for, but let's not pretend it isn't a sign of something being very wrong.