etcelsior | KEMOSABE, JUMP ON IT!

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KEMOSABE, JUMP ON IT!

TEST DRIVE MEME

Considering apping into MASK OR MENACE? Want to dip your toes into the setting and get a feel of whether your character will fit into it? Or maybe you're just cruising and want to play around? Then you've come to the right place!

Pick any of the following scenarios below or feel free to make up your own, but don't be afraid to throw yourself at someone else's thread, either!

And remember there's only one rule in Test Drive Meme Club: have fun!

01. The city of Heropa is what one might expect from a small, bright and cheery place, where locals are friendly enough and local shop owners might offer a free drink to welcome you to their fair city. Some of the locals might thank you for always lending your service to the nation, while others might not say anything -- but if you have something nasty to say, better not say anything at all, right?

No matter how you feel about imPorts, there is one thing the community all must suffer through together: the weather. And time. Two, two things the community must suffer through together. However many things there are, today is celebrating the Dog Days of Summer. Literally. There is an adoption fair for every kind of dog you can imagine, and a few that really take imagination to call them ‘a dog.’ Like cats that have had doggy ear-shaped hats placed on their unwilling heads, or fish with decorative dog art painted on their bowl. Or that baby alligator on a leash with fur (glued? It looks glued) on its back. So while it’s a fine day to come and meet a new friend- or drop one off and run, hoping someone else will take it- it may also be a good day to stop the smaller animals and some wandering children from getting eaten by some of the more carnivorous creatures a few of the local eccentrics have decided to try to pawn off on the public. Or grab a snack from the fried food and ice cream stands and watch the madness. Whatever your choice, welcome to Florida, heroes.

02. De Chima, Virginia, is a large city with a healthy economy, and though it's quieter than Heropa, there are still large numbers of citizens to be awed at your very presence. Look at you! Organic wonder! Science and technology are the lifeblood of this city, so you're likely to come across a good many locals taking your picture with the newest of devices. The imPort craze remains high here, and you may find yourself cornered by overzealous imPort fans, media wannabes and opportunists alike, shoving cameras in your face. Their questions are likely to be fairly mundane, however; get ready for an interview about your taste in romantic partners, personal underwear choices, favorite foods, and more!

Wasn’t the forgiveness day festival wonderful? What, you weren’t in this world yet to attend? Well, never mind that! There’s still time for those willing to part with a few dollars to show your love for this new world and sympathy for the natives and imPorts alike that have been harmed in it. How? Why with a flower festival, of course! An entire block has been closed off for the seemingly endless sale of flowers of every shape and color. Technically, all the flowers have meanings and a few wandering guides are more than happy to help you pick out the bunch that may speak your true feelings to your intended target. It has all the potential to be a nice, sweet smelling day where you can express your love or eternal hatred or total ambivalence with living flora.

Of course, this is the science city. It can’t be something as simple as only normal, natural flowers. Some of the stands are nice enough to keep their technological wonders neatly labeled and separate from the rest of the foliage. Others aren’t so nice. The best way to get people to try a new thing is to spring it on an unsuspecting public, right? Right! Also for sale are roses that, if you prick your finger on the (oddly able to pierce through even superhuman strong, unbreakable skin) thorns you are compelled to spend the rest of the day with the first person you lay your eyes on. Never seen them before or hate their guts, it doesn’t matter. You simply feel awful when more than three feet away from them. To the point you will pass out if you’re away from them for more than five minutes. Hope you’re good at making quick bathroom runs.

There are also lilies that make birds flock to you and snap dragonsthat offer you supportive messages given in a squeaky voice every time you smell it. For those liking slightly more visibly engineered flowers, a multicolored daisy turns you into a Technicolor wonder, your clothes, hair, eyes, and skin changing rapidly from color to color without any apparent rhyme or reason (or respect for clashing). Putting the flower down will stop the changes, but you’re stuck in whatever random pattern it landed on until an hour passes and the effect wears off. Good luck with the festival!

03. Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania has had its ups and downs since imPorts started reappearing. Several imPort heroes have put focused efforts into cleaning up the streets of this somewhat infamous city, while others have swooped in to help the criminal industry thrive. More so here than the streets of any other imPort city, the battle between good and evil looks more like a war of escalation than a heroic tale. That might make the less than warm welcome imPorts are given in the city a little more understandable. The emergence of locals with superpowers is hardly helping. While some of these individuals have turned to crime, many locals seem more inclined to defend their native powered drug dealer than help the non-native hero bring them to justice. Who are you to tell them how to live?

To say all is not right in the streets of Maurtia Falls is to more or less state the obvious, but this time, the criminal nature of this foe is a little... sillier than usual. One gentleman gifted with the powers of superspeed seems not to have grasped the true potential of his powers and instead of spending his time robbing banks or big businesses, he's decided to be the world's most efficient pickpocket. He zips through the street, pushing people over at superspeed and picking their pockets and snatching their pockets, leaving only a brown blur in his wake, evidently having lost the memo that primary colours are all the rage for costumed heroes and villains.
The more heroically minded among you may want to go after this villain or save a grandma or two that have been unintentionally pushed straight into traffic... but the guy has to stop to rest sometime, and he's really begging for a beatdown with this kind of behaviour.

04. Nonah, North Carolina, is the liveliest of all cities; loud, busy and there's some kind of energy in the air that gets everyone buzzing with excitement. To be American is to be part of a melting pot, and that there's more money to be made by the thriving local industries hardly hurts. Natives may gather around new arrivals and ask both personal and broad questions about life as an imPort, what they are looking forward to, what their favorite article of underwear is. A few night clubs offer free entrance - just this once!

Today the word on everyone’s lips is branding. It’s not enough to slap on some spandex or hand stitch a mask these days. That’s so 80s. Now is the time not only to get your hero/villain costume professionally made, it’s time for sponsorship! Why should natives be limited to just having some registered imPorts actually working at their place of business? A cape is basically a big, open banner just waiting for a logo. Or ten. Now, they can’t really promise money up front for anyone agreeing to wear their logo and work their slogan into a witty quip during an arrest, but they can do one better: free products. Get all the free socks you can wear by only fighting crime in Jane’s Honey of the Earth socks, underwear, and bras. Or negotiate for free dinners for life if you wear the logo and agree to only appear on dates eating at Overweigh burger shack.

Of course, there’s nothing like an unlikely team up to really get the media spotlight on an imPort (and the brand they now represent). If you fall for the hype or even just get herded over to an audition station (if you are walking down the road today, chances are you’re going to get unwillingly pulled in at least once), get ready to meet your new partner: this random stranger! The company will give you 10 minutes to get to know each other, then it’s time to grin, bear it, and think of the free merchandise as they ask you to perform at least one heroic feat as a team for their cameras. What that is, exactly, is up to you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Thinking over the request, Chilton pursued his lips -- a mirror expression, however unintentional, to Starr's own. The legality in his corner was untested; if he kept Starr beyond reasonable bounds, it could come back to bite him in the ass. There was a risk inherent to releasing him to attend his interview, yes... But Chilton was also curious to see if Starr would keep to his promise made.

Like he claimed, when he made appointments he stuck to them.]

Will you require access to the inpatient showers? For preparation of your morning interview?

[It was a leading question, as if Chilton had already agreed to the terms. Which wasn't to say that he had not, only that he intentionally leashed along anticipation.]

Yes. And a change of underwear. As well as a new shirt. Mine was tattered in a minor scuffle.

[ Said as though he was removing Chilton of the charges, as though Chilton was not even there when it happened. All part of being a good boy, after all. Blaming his captor was less likely to see him get what he wanted. He knew the game. ]

Perhaps some medical attention. For my broken foot.

[ And it most certainly was broken by the way it was bruised and discolored. Yet, Starr remained standing. In part because he knew if he sank to the floor, he wouldn't be able to get up again without use of his hands. But also because he had an incredibly high threshold for pain ]

Right. [An uneasy glance at that foot.] Why don't you kneel down? Get a little pressure off of that.

[He called up his staff medic, a native who had ER experience. Chilton was antsy to get that foot examined, the bone settled -- surgically, if necessary. Which might take up the remainder of the evening, depending on the medic's analysis.]

Stay down.

[He moved to unlock the cylinder's hatch -- a fingerprint encoded lock. With his fingerprint as the sole access code. Chilton watched Starr all the while, knowing damn well that he was observing all these details.]

All right, the medic should be here shortly. Foot first, then clothing.

[He said, stepping inside and leaving the hatch door wide open.]

[ Herr Starr gave Chilton a suspicious glance when he was told to essentially get on his knees. Mostly, he was waiting for Chilton to unzip his pants and take advantage of this precarious situation. But there was little else he could actually do, so he obeyed like a good boy as part of his true -- settling onto the floor, the muzzle still dangling from his face.

And of course his eyes were on what Chilton was doing as he opened up the door. ]

Your fingerprint being the sole dictating factor to the release of a patient does not bode well for your patients. What if you were to fall prey to the porter's whims? How would these people escape?

[ What's the backup plan? An obvious ploy at getting Chilton to talk about it. ]

What if I were to be murdered? What if I were to have my hand cut off? We live in an unusual world, Herr Starr.

[Chilton knelt to one knee himself, unstrapping the patient at the back.

We all have curious methods on how to defend ourselves. Some of us can heal ourselves from mortal, or permanent, wounds. Some of us can heal others.

[Chilton did neither, but he wouldn't outright confess as much. He knew how to play this game.]

Are you afraid that you risk rotting in here? Probably the most boring death you could think of.

[Powers didn't work within the cylinder, but they would outside of it. It would take only a thrashing from a hyper powered Jack. Chilton smiled, still unwilling to clarify. Perhaps, he thought, he ought to reinforce the material again...

His orderly came. Chilton directed the man to assist Starr -- roughly.]

Perhaps I am merely taking in the details so that I may assume your form seamlessly. Like a chameleon or a Sam Merlotte at a dog show.

[ He looked Chilton up and down, a line of displeasure furrowing on his brow. It would be a boring death. And more so a waste of precious time. He would have to come up with inventive ways to kill himself in hopes to revive elsewhere outside of his cell. ]

But I will not rot here.

[ His head was held high with a certain dignity. ]

You find me too fascinating to keep me locked away.

[ And then that orderly came, which left Starr at his mercy -- gritting his teeth as the broken bone was jostled and forcefully set. Starr spared a glance toward Chilton in the meanwhile. Oh, he was definitely going to break Chilton's fingers as payback for this at some point. ]

Mm. [Chilton inclined his head at Starr's last statement -- well, he wasn't wrong. Chilton had been hooked, intrigued, and he was loathe to think that he would have to release Starr sooner rather than later. It was highly improbably that Starr would make the same mistake twice and end up captive again. Such a pity, a waste of ideal observation and psychiatric data collection. What could have been months, reduced now to days. Hours.

Unless.

Chilton slowly turned his head to face Starr entirely, watching the bone setting and subsequent medical wrapping.

Unless.]

Taking that like a champ, aren't you?

[Not a single whimper.]

Impressive, actually. Stanford, thank you. If you'd please leave patient Starr's uniform next to him so that he may dress himself, yes. Dismissed.

[All orderlies had medical training. Some more thoroughly than... Others. Chilton, once they were alone again, smiled at his patient.

Unless...]

How would you like a job here?

[ His stare remained unblinking. If it weren't for the fact that he was still breathing, one might have sworn he was dead in that moment. But no. He was just dead inside. As this Stanford fellow left them be, Starr casually turned his head to watch him go -- adding that man to the list of people he would definitely kill.

What Chilton said next was a bit of a surprise, though. A job? Here? ]

Is this a trick question? Are you going to be hiring me on as a test tube inspector where I will have to remain in various cells to ensure they function properly? If that is the offered job, the answer is a hard no. As hard as my dick is right now.

[ TMI with Herr Starr. Get used to it, Chilton. ]

Ah. [He glanced down, at Herr Starr's groin. He didn't mean to, but when a sentence like that is spoken, well -- it's like telling someone not to look behind them. They are going to look behind.] That -- [Slight flush.]

-- I meant more in a security department way. Patient retrieval. Enforcement. But -- never mind.

[He looked away. Finally.]

[ Starr perked up at Chilton's suggestion. Now that? That was something far more suitable to his talents. Something more suitable than his given job. Something more suitable than his interview at the company Puppies for Pornstars in the morning. ]

No. Not never mind. Does this 72 hours count as the job interview for said position?

[ He fidgeted a bit as though attempting to remind Chilton he had promised to remove him from the straitjacket after treatment and he was still waiting to be removed. ]

Or have I already passed?

I would prefer to fill the position as quickly as possible. My former head of security, he... Has exported. Again.

[Unfortunate and untimely. But Chilton had an instinct informing him that it was for good this time; rare was it for anyone to export, import, and export again so quickly and then ever return. Chilton swallowed, shrugged, and moved to finish unstrapping Starr's straitjacket.]

Not to be prejudiced, but it's probably better than I employ humans for awhile... My prior head of security was something more. Biblical.

[Literally Cain.]

Not my field of study.

[He pulled the jacket forward, releasing Starr from it, and tried to keep his eyes off the nude form by keeping them up towards the ceiling.]

Clothes to your left.

[ It was liberating to be removed from the straitjacket, and as soon as his arms were free, he reached up to peel the remainder of the muzzle from his head -- letting it fall to the floor. His attention moved toward Chilton with mild interest. Something Biblical. Chilton housed those things and still was a nonbeliever.

Interesting.

Starr didn't seem to care about his nudity. He didn't bother to cover up in embarrassment and stood tall, body exposed as he reached down for his clothing in order to dress himself once more. It was a bit of a struggle with the wrapping, but he still managed. ]

Not your field of study, but something you seem to surround yourself with -- whether unintentionally or not.

[ His hand swiped along the cut on his face, collecting whatever damp blood was left from it. ]

Do you see yourself as a god in this domain of yours? And the way to keep that image in check is to surround yourself by apparently Biblical or Biblical affiliated people? It may be what I put down on paper to obtain my job at Grail Industries, but I do not consider myself to be a Christian.

Oh, you aren't? I am shocked -- given your intentions to establish a new god. [He said dryly, completely unfazed by this revelation.] Would otherwise be a bit blasphemous, wouldn't it?

[He asked, his eyes still staring upwards, affording Starr the modesty that he didn't want.]

I didn't know who Jack was, when I hired him. Commentary on the state of our background checks, I suppose -- I've heard it all before, so do not bother yourself with undoubtedly piercing criticism. Either way, it was accidental. And my systematic encounters with Lucifer, well, that wasn't my fault either. Moot point, really, because did I face any consequences for making that deal? No.

[Chilton had heard Starr say people, as in plural. Biblical people. He assumed Starr already knew about his rendezvous with the devil.]

God, tyrant. [He made eye contact now, finally answering Starr's question.] What's the difference?

Edited 2017-09-24 18:53 (UTC)

[ Starr had been referring to himself when he mentioned Biblical Affiliated people. But this was good information to know. Chilton cut deals with the devil in the past. Probably not the Satan he was familiar with, but it still wasn't a wise idea to do. ]

I do not understand why anyone would dare to criticize you. You are such a charming and positive personality.

[ Said Starr with the most unimpressed expression. Although to be fair, that was his expression most of the time. So he could have been paying an actual compliment and it would likely come across as sarcastic. ]

Who was Jack, then? Of the myriad of characters in the myriad of stories. You must know I would not allow him to reclaim his position should he return unexpectedly.

[Chilton's lips flatlined at Herr Starr's comment; he took it to be sarcasm, regardless of the intent. But at the follow-up question, the assumed insult seemed forgotten as he waved his hand, almost dismissive of the myth.]

Cain. As in, Cain and Abel. Cursed with immortality and some sort of... Demonic need for human flesh. Really unappetizing, I had to reorganize the entire break room because of his needs.

[His violent, angry needs. And also William Walker's interference.]

His god was not a forgiving one. There was nothing that man wanted more than to finally die. Jury's out if hell was a concept in his world, but I... Highly doubt it.

[Chilton was more inclined to believe that hell was on earth, with himself and all the other people.]

[ Cain. Cain the demonically revived Cannibal. Sounded like some sort of comedy. And the comedy would be seeing how he actually interacted with the people of this hospital. ]

It seems no matter the world, God is an asshole.

[ The only conclusion Herr Starr could draw from the story. ]

I do hope he did not bring actual finger sandwiches to lunch. That is highly... [ A sniff of his nose. ] Unsanitary.

Was he truly effective at his job? Or was he more of a destructive force?

That is -- ah -- [Chilton looked uncomfortable. Atheist as he was now, one didn't shed two decades of Catholicism without the shadows of guilt. Calling God an asshole qualified.] Quite the statement.

-- But yes, he was effective. Efficient. I think he enjoyed working here, for as much as he could enjoy anything. People were understandably terrified of him, he really did like that. But Jack's feasting habits were never so refined, he just preferred blood. And if he did not get his blood in a timely manner, he went for body parts.

[Simple. Normal.]

We had only one break-in, and he took. Care of that.

[It occurred to Chilton how interesting a match-up between Walker and Starr would be.]

Do you, by any chance, have much experience with cowboys?

One break in.

[ Herr Starr repeated and almost sounded disappointed by that. It was shaping up to sound rather dull if there wasn't going to be much of a chance for violent intervention. His shoulders sagged a bit. ]

Is this a legitimate question or a way of further questioning my sexuality? I am familiar with one cowboy, a man who was released from the depths of hell. The Saint of Killers. But if this is your cowboy problem, I am sorry to say that you should simply embrace the inevitable death that will be coming for you. If not, then I will easily be able to handle your problem. As in murdering it. Not sexually handle it.

No, not this one. ["The Saint of Killers"? Chilton couldn't hold back the derisive snort. At least Starr would be used to ridiculous code names.] Imagine that Johnny Cash and John Wayne had a seventy year old child -- but one with smoke superpowers and a nihilistic opinion about humankind.

[A light shrug.]

He and I are in the same social club, actually. So I know for a fact that he's a sociopathic murderer, given that he'd join up a cabal like that.

[Tony Stark's Illuminati gathering, which Chilton was also a member of.]

He isn't in it to influence the world, like the rest of us are.

[Quick clarification, to clear his name.]

[ Chilton clarified before Starr could question it, but he did give a skeptical glance for a bit longer regardless. Men didn't parade around, locking people up in these glass tubes without having some sadistic tendencies. Chilton was probably a murderer, too. But in Starr's defense, pretty much everyone in his world was a murderer. So it was an easy conclusion to draw about someone he'd just met. ]

And how do you plan to go about "influencing the world" without a God -- man made or not? People need a deity to worship. Your atheist stance will not carry much weight into a generation of people who crave worshiping imPorts.

Also the man you described sounds like a washed up porn star. [ Starr decided to step out of the containment cell. The door was open, and if he was being offered a job, he was no longer a prisoner within it, right? ]

Well, yes, and he probably is.

[Although it did beg the question: what sort of pornography did Herr Starr most regularly watch? Because it sounded more like the snuff film variety to Chilton.]

People do not need a deity to worship, no. That impulse is but a mere convenience, something to overcome. Aspirational behavior in humanity is... Thin. Wavering. Feels great in the moment, but you'll suffer a nasty hangover the second things don't turn up all champagne bubbles, and very few actually rise to the occasion.

[Chilton followed Starr out, watching him warily.]

What people need is an antagonist. Anger, wrath, cruelty -- evil. As old as humankind itself, and recognized well before any "higher being" ever was. Something, someone to contrast against. A foil. After all, what was Jesus without Judas?

[ He canted his head ever so slightly, his blind eye turned toward Chilton. And he seemed to study him as though he could actually see him. Doubtful that he could. Perhaps it was simply an intimidation tactic -- allowing the man to take in his scar. ]

So you aim to inspire these people to act heroically against a perceived enemy. A common threat. Or is it more than simply that? Are you seeking to inspire the darkest traits of people so that they may overcome them and become better people themselves?

[ An act that almost sounded noble if it didn't seem more like a waste of time. ]

Surely you've realized by now that most of these people are not worth it.

[ He felt a tingle in his jaw, the cuts and scrapes slowly mending themselves beneath the stain of blood. ]

Mm. [He tilted his head back and forth, an almost frivolous gesture.] Not quite. I am more often than not creating the monsters -- from people who have already demonstrated a certain. Set of qualities.

[He wouldn't, or couldn't, transform a lawful good individual into something neutral evil. But someone who already had possessed a little darkness in him... Well, those psychological personality disorders really did the work for him.

They all just needed a little stroking to rise up.]

I suppose we ought to get you cleaned up.

[Looking Starr over, frowning at the drying blood.]

Then it seems you and I are both equally transformative. Only the nature of our efforts differ. As do our personalities and no doubt the size of our dicks.

[ He reached out to plant his hand firmly on Chilton's shoulder. The grip was a bit too tight. But he needed the support if he planned on walking. At least he thought he needed the support to walk. Bound as his leg was, he figured that was the reason for the fading of pain. Herr Starr hadn't quite realized the mechanics of his abilities just yet. ]

You're not a fan of blood, are you?

[ He did notice the frown and was trying to determine whether it was an aversion to the mess or simply an aversion toward the potential lawsuit. ]

What a... Strange... Comparison to tack on. At the very end of that heartfelt tangent. [Chilton pursed his lips, wincing at the pinch of Starr's grip.] Another contrast: you seem like the type of man who translates no as yes.

[Spoken as he tried to yank his shoulder away, frowning as he failed at the endeavor.]

I have seen enough blood to be satisfied with the visual. Any more is, frankly, unnecessary.

[Which was an answer-non-answer, so typical of Frederick Chilton.]

You are free to use the patient washroom, before we take you to the proper infirmary.

KEMOSABE, JUMP ON IT!

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