I PUT THEM TO BED, NOW THEY ARE DREAMS, AND WE GO --

[maskormods]

T E S T D R I V E M E M E

Considering apping into MASK OR MENACE? Want to dip your toes into the setting and get a feel of whether your character will fit into it? Or maybe you're just cruising and want to play around? Then you've come to the right place!

Pick any of the following scenarios below or feel free to make up your own, but don't be afraid to throw yourself at someone else's thread, either!

And remember there's only one rule in Test Drive Meme Club: HAVE FUN ON THE TEST DRIVE MEME!

01. The city of Heropa is what one might expect from a small, bright and cheery place, where locals are friendly enough and local shop owners might offer a free drink to welcome you to their fair city. Many of the locals might thank you for always lending your service to the nation and their local troubles, while others might not say anything -- but if you have something nasty to say, better not say anything at all, right? That's just the Heropan way.

But despite the relatively small size and mostly easy-going population, this here is not a city immune to the urbane ways of the world. And Heropa, like the rest of the world, adheres to the calendar of this universe. You, fine imPort, have just happened to land squarely on SING LIKE YOU'RE IN A MUSICAL DAY! Wowee! Locals and tourist natives alike will conspire to cajole you into singing your GREATEST WISHES and CLOSING ACT songs. And, oh, you don't feel like singing? Then BEWARE of anyone spritzing a sweet-smelling yellow perfume at you -- that's a lasting vestige from the crumbled HEAVEN SCENT corporation, still on the market, and it will COMPEL YOU TO SING. Even if it's for a few minutes, you'll be singing a few bars. It's nothing personal, the locals just want you to feel like you belong.

Happy Sing Like You're In A Musical Day!

02. De Chima, Virginia, is a large city with a healthy economy, and though it's quieter than Heropa, there are still large numbers of citizens to be awed at your very presence. Look at you! Organic wonder! Those words have meaning here. Science and technology are the lifeblood of this city, so you're likely to come across a good many locals taking your picture with the newest of devices or recently published PLoS papers. The imPort craze remains high here, and you may find yourself cornered by overzealous imPort fans, media wannabes and opportunists alike, shoving cameras in your face. Some of them MAY ask if you personally know the De Chima Ambassador, Sam Merlotte. Beware if you answer in the affirmative; anything from personal questions about romantic chances to bedroom habits to dietary queries might come up!

If you wander the clean streets beneath those chrome and glass skyscrapers, you'll come upon the limited greenery clearing that De Chima possesses. You'll see a live demonstration in the middle of small Newton Park. A live demonstration! Of what, you ask! Of the start-up company DeCRYPTO CANINE! You'll find a fenced little area in the park fitted for a low-rise stage. On that stage are lots of dogs -- terriers, labradors, dachshunds, huskies, even a great dane or two. Around the collar of every one of these dogs is a glowing blue band encapsulated in a silver framing. When the demonstration begins (at the push of a big red button on a remote control), the glowing blue changes to yellow, to green, or to red -- all depending on the dog.

"Communication with our good canine buds!" Says the woman on the stage with the microphone and the remote. "DeCRYPTO CANINE translates blood pressure and adrenaline into mood, and mood into limited speech! At long last!"

Who let the dogs out? This woman, because she opened the fencing floodgates and these dogs ran to greet the waiting audience. Wagging tails -- green! And a computerized voice says "YOU ARE NEW HELLO I SMELL YOUR BUTT NOW WE ARE FRIENDS".

Whimpering, lowered tails -- yellow! Concern! "YOUR CROTCH SMELLS BAD. ARE YOU SICK."

Tense shoulders, hunched posture -- red! "BAD MAN BAD MAN BAD MAN!"

What will these dogs reveal about you?

03. Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania has carried a reputation for ups and downs ever since imPorts began reappearing again, just those few years prior. Several imPort heroes have put focused efforts into cleaning up the streets of this somewhat infamous city, while a handful of others had swooped in to help the criminal industry thrive. More so here than the streets of any other imPort city, the battle between good and evil looks more like a war of escalation than a heroic tale -- but that war waging is taking a turning tide thanks to the order and regulation established by Ambassador Petyr Baelish. Locals know him best for his library and his hardline on containing the criminal element. Trustworthy guy, they'll tell you. But one man's leadership isn't enough to clean up a troubled city in a year's time; everything from the classic bank heist to brutal bloodbaths can happen around the corner. You have to keep your eyes open and your mind sharp when you live in Maurtia Falls.

Case in point: the two cars screeching down the bust, bustling streets of this noir-styled city. A green car and a red car, both sedan styled, dodging and weaving through midday traffic like they had learned to drive at a bumper car rally. Not too far behind is the wail of several police sirens. You know that the police are too far away, that these speeding vehicles might make it to the off-ramp freeway and get home-free -- what do you do about it? Huh, hero? What do you do?

NOTHING
Just go about your business. Crazy day, huh?

CHASE THE GREEN CAR
Going 79 MPH in a 35 MPH zone, that'll be some chase. Careful about the other vehicles, parked cars, pedestrians. But when you catch up to the fleeing vehicle, beware: the lady in the passenger side is armed. The lady in the driver's seat is armed. The guy tied up in the trunk is not armed. These sunglass-wearing bounty hunters will fire at you, they are armed and dangerous. They are mean. They will not humor your shit. And they are hauling tail trying to...

CATCH THE RED CAR
If you pursue the red car first, you will find a very angry Bonnie and Clyde type couple with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of diamonds and jewels in their backseat. They have a bazooka.

04. Nonah, North Carolina, has its own unique rhythm; it is loud, busy and there's some kind of energy in the air that gets everyone buzzing with excitement. To be American is to be part of a melting pot, and that there's more money to be made by the thriving local industries hardly hurts. Natives may gather around new arrivals and ask both personal and broad questions about life as an imPort, what they are looking forward to, what their favorite article of underwear is. They probably already think they know what Ambassador Miles' favorite article of underwear is -- and it's probably a kinky assumption. Whoops!

If you prefer to dodge the unsavory bustle, take a walk downtown into the heartbeat district. There you can find the throbbing nightclubs and dazzling haute bars. And as a newly arrived imPort, you're invited to the VIP lounge of the hautest bar in town: THE TIPPING POINT. It is a very fancy affair, however, so if you're not dressed to the nines, you WILL be taken care of and given a designer suit or cocktail dress to borrow for the evening. All you have to do in return is smile for the cameras! And there WILL be cameras, along with B-List celebrities hobbing at your elbows. Lucky night for you if you're JUST at the legal drinking age, but not quite there -- this lounge doesn't card. So sit down, take your gin and tonic, and smile.

Comments

[h2bro]

[ these are indeed some killer killer boobies and archie is right to notice that fact, but another thing archie might notice is the way matt's heart skips a beat when archie first touches him, or the way he feels just a little bit warmer when archie quietly calls him cool. he really loves his bro.

matt gets lost a few times heading to the beach even though he's been there once before already, and when he gets too tired to carry archie, he hoists him up onto his back and gives him a piggyback ride instead. he makes it to the beach eventually, though, and just cheers in pure happiness as he runs out onto the sand. ]

We made it, bro! [ he doesn't put archie down, though, even though he totally should. he likes being anchored to him like this. ]

[h2no]

[honestly, they'd only been in each other's company for about an hour, but archie is so genuinely overwhelmed on top of his usual bone-deep exhaustion that he pretty much fell asleep in matt's arms after about two minutes. ...and then falls asleep again during the piggyback ride. he only wakes up again when they actually get there.]

Whu-- yeah! This is Sharpedo's favourite bay, bro!

[he's okay with not being put down. archie tosses sharpedo's ball out from his vantage position on matt's back and laughs as his shark appears in the water. it seems a bit subdued, but the moment it sees matt it goes absolutely ballistic and starts Aqua Jetting up and down the beach.]

[h2bro]

[ matt would like to think that if he had been aware of archie's sleepytimes, he wouldn't have so loudly announced their arrival at the beach, or even made a beeline for it in the first place - he wants nothing more than to see Sharpedo again, and to let his own Sharpedo stretch his fins in the water, but at the same time, just laying down somewhere with Archie and talking about the good times back home seemed like a really, really fun way to spend the rest of the day before they fell asleep. maybe that's what they can do tonight? have a sleep over, talk about home, fall asleep together to dreams of what hoenn really was - a place of light and friendships and warmth - rather than suffer through nightmares about the cold, watery grave they both tried to turn it into.

but he's happy, and Archie's happy, and he doesn't want to think about things like that, so he just cheers Archie's Sharpedo on, fumbles with his belt for a pokeball and releases his own Sharpedo into the sea. The Pokemon looks confused about his surroundings, at first, but the second he sees the other Sharpedo, he swims in circles like an overexcited dog with too much energy he doesn't know what to do with. Matt laughs, tells him to go play, and off he goes. ]

Hold on, okay, bro?! [ he tightens the grip he has around Archie's knees and just bolts into the sea, feeling the water splash on his face and the sun warm his shoulders. His Sharpedo swims the fuck over and all but tackles Archie, rubbing his dumb coarse shark skin over Archie's face, totally trying to shove Matt out of the way to get closer to his bro's best bro. matt CANNOT STOP LAUGHING ]

[h2no]

[is archie intending on laying on some kind of flat surface next to matt and talking about feelings while smooching his face and holding his hands? you fucking bet your ass he is.

archie yells in delight when matt takes him into the sea-- it's a lot like how it used to be, only missing shelly sunbathing and muttering to herself about how they're giant muscle baby idiots and she's not sure why she likes them so much. then he gets tackled by matt's sharpedo!! so much is happening at once!! he's having so many feelings!! is this even real? the shark pushes a bunch of salt water into his mouth but archie doesn't even care and he cackles loudly and wraps his arms around matt's sharpedo, baby talking it and cooing obnoxiously.]

[h2bro]

[ if archie's never seen a sharpedo cry before, he sure is seeing it now. the shark pokemon keeps pushing harder and harder into archie, nestling into him and shoving matt out of the way so freaking hard that he has no choice but to laugh and let Archie go. he hesitates, but then finds archie's hand on his pokemon, tentatively putting it in his own, just to keep some kind of physical connection to him. it would be a pretty sweet moment, if sharpedo wasn't just making loud huffs of effort while basically trying to climb on top of Archie. ]

Sharpedo-- Sharpedo, c'mon, you're gonna smother the poor dude. [ he's laughing, patting Sharpedo on the head with his free hand. ]

[h2no]

[archie's sharpedo is bobbing to the side-- near matt and nosing at him occasionally. hey. pay attention. hey.

archie ducks under the water for a moment, letting matt's sharpedo on top of him then pops back up next to it and sprays a bunch of seawater out his mouth onto it. gross.

sorry he's kind of forgotten matt is there for the moment.]

[h2bro]

[ ok matt already misses archie, but. hey. hey, sharpedo? hey, sharpedo?? HEY, SHARPEDO????

MATT JUST HUGS THE FUCK OUTTA THIS LITTLE GUY. it's like a predator pouncing on its prey. one minute, the waters are calm. the next, matt is leaping through the air and bearhugging archie's sharpedo, squeezing him as tight as he can. well, maybe not as hard as he can - he doesn't wanna hurt him - but certainly giving him all he's worth. ]

Sharpebro!! You wanna race?! [ he boops archie's sharpedo on the nose. ] It's been a while, but I'm pretty sure I can still hold my own against you!!

[ matt's sharpedo, meanwhile, is so excited about getting just fucking spat on that it dives deep into the water, opens its jaws wide, fills its mouth up with seawater and jumps into the air. as it arcs over archie, it opens its jaws wide, just dumping a bucketfull of water all over his face, then lands with a splash. and then it's back to climbing all over him. such happy shark boys. ]

[h2no]

AHHH!! Gross!!

[archie cmon you just did the same thing to it and you're not an animal you dumbass.]

Shit! Bro! I forgot to ask the most important thing! What's your powers??

[h2bro]

[ Matt is busy doubled over from laughing to answer Archie's question right away, just keeping afloat in the water while holding his stomach and cackling like a lunatic. He calms down, eventually, but not before his Sharpedo takes all the laughter as praise and dumps another mouthful of water on Archie, almost setting Matt off again. Dumb. ]

Oh! Uh. Super strength is one of 'em, bro! I dunno if that's actually a power or just somethin' they already knew about me, though. [ he flexes. ] Other's thing's, like, water shit? Breathin' under it and survivin' under it in general. [ which is not appropriate given that he wanted to drown everyone, but he doesn't say that out loud ]

[h2no]

I think that was just from lookin' at you, bro!

[archie laughs, takes the shark-drool imbued spray again then swims over to matt, eyebrows raised. evident because sharpedo pulled off his bandana.]

Shit! Me too! [he pushes himself forward, putting his hands on matt's shoulders and pushing him down (which funnily enough he's done in a couple nightmares but this time he knows he won't drown matt) under the water, and shoving his face into the crook of matt's neck uguuu freezing underwater hug]

[h2bro]

[ matt takes the moment to flex even harder before archie sends him underwater, and he laughs, as he always does, playfully swinging his hand back up at archie and pulling him down with him. once they're both down there, surrounded by the beauty of the sea and the calm of the tides, matt's struck with just how fucking much he missed being able to screw around with his bro like this. in the quiet blue, sunbeams piercing the waves and shining a light on archie, matt's heart is fucking finally filled with warmth. it'll go cold again, when he remembers the things he's done and the things he's put archie through, but for now, he's happy.

his sharpedo swims down, nudging matt, who gives him a scratch on the belly and sends him to go play with archie's. he wraps his arm around archie's waist, laughing silently, bubbles of air floating from his mouth up to the surface. man, he knows they should go up and talk and play with their pokemon or something, but he just really wants to hug again. ]

[h2no]

[it's nice. all he can hear right now are the bubbles from where they'd gone under and the faint sounds of the sharpedos swimming around each other.

he stays clinging onto matt, still not entirely convinced this isn't just some fever dream, though there's no logical reason why he should believe this. blue and red came-- hell, may did, so why not matt? maybe archie thinks he doesn't deserve to see matt again, or that matt doesn't deserve to be in such a dangerous place.

for a moment, archie straight up ignores the sharpedo's request, gripping onto matt until his knuckles go white. sure, they're fucking around in the sea and having a fun time, but he knows they've just pushed the real issues to the back of their minds and archie is terrified that matt's going to realise that he isn't worth sticking around for. vageuly, he wonders if this line of thought is because he's staring over matt's shoulder, down into the depths of the ocean. he shifts, hiding his face in matt's neck.]

[h2bro]

[ matt's still laughing, overwhelmingly happy, when archie holds onto him so tightly. when he turns to look archie in the eyes, beaming with joy, he just... doesn't understand why he looks so sad. he never understands, though. he loves his bro more than he's loved anyone in the whole wide world, but he never says the right words, or does the right thing, or reacts the right way, or... anything, really. he can't do anything right, not for archie. he messes up orders, he goes too far, he loses control, and - and now archie's afraid, looking past him like that into the ocean, the dark, and it hurts and matt doesn't know why it's happening or what he can do.

so he lets archie hold him and he holds him right back, resting one hand on the back of archie's head to keep him close and let matt's body warmth bleed into him despite the cold uncaring ocean. he pulls archie closer against him and hovers there in the water in silence, his bro safe from the world in his arms, if only in this moment. he runs his fingers through archie's hair, looking up, through the water and into the light, and, still holding archie close, he slowly paddles upward towards the surface. they need to be somewhere brighter. ]

[h2no]

[archie is clinging on like a little komala until they break the surface and even then he doesn't say anything immediately. he thought he was fine; he thought if he saw matt or shelly again he'd be able to go back to normal but no matter what, the guilt and trauma of what he had done weighs on his mind, making him act weird and not like himself. making him upset matt. archie can't stop it and he hates it.]

I--I'm sorry, bro! I'm really happy to see you, but that shit with Kyogre... it got me messed up, bro!! I'm sorry!!!

[h2bro]

[ matt doesn't answer, at first. he knew this conversation had to come eventually - they'd cried and been stupid and played and been happy so it makes sense that it had to come crashing down now that enough time had passed. but. even just hearing the name Kyogre makes matt tense and nervous and uncomfortable about where this could go. so he says nothing, just keeps archie close and swims back to the beach, sitting down on the sand with his legs still in the water and his boss by his side. he idly watches the two sharpedo play together while he tries to figure this out. ]

Bro...

I should have been better. [ he sighs.] I've never been good enough for you, bro. I never shoulda let you get all messed up! I wanna give you my life and everything I've got, but I just keep bein' bad and making things all hard and worse for you all the time. M'sorry. I wish you'd just punch me in the face and put me back in my place, bro, 'cause I dunno what to do!

[h2no]

[sometimes-- well, a lot of the time, actually, archie wonders what kyogre actually thought of the attempt to control it. it had seemed feral and infuriated, but he knows legendaries are on the same level as other pokémon. it wasn't stupid. maybe kyogre was just really confused and upset and did what its instincts told it to do? archie never held what happened against the poor creature; he must've caused it pain.

(though it's possible that kyogre is just a power hungry asswipe. he's considered that too.)

archie stands next to matt - his friend tall enough that even sitting he's almost the same size.]

B...bro!! You gotta stop blamin' yourself for what happened! We're the masters of our own fate! We both fucked up!

[wow that's some progress even after like two hours.]

I don't want to hurt you even more than I already did, bro. Y-you're really... your brain muscle is as strong as your arm muscle! [archie what] Don't put yourself down like that!

[h2bro]

[ the last thing matt wants to do is make this conversation about him - with everything between kyogre and archie being away from him for a half a year, going on a tangent about his own problems seems real damn selfish, and being selfish has caused him to make a ton of mistakes recently, but-- but. but!! ]

Yeah... but... but even now-- even after everything-- I still wanna go back to how things were. When we were puttin' people in danger and doing things that we shouldn't've been doing and-- and... everything with Kyogre. And that's bad, right, bro? It's like even after I-- I tried to blow up the-- it's like even after all I did when we weren't close anymore, I didn't learn a thing! I still just wanna have fun with you and Shelly and everyone else on the team, and I still just wanna work towards a goal with you and change the world! My brain muscle... ain't nothing!

[ he flops back on to the sand, thudding onto the beach and stretching his arms out. blehhhhh bluhlbubluhblhlbhlubh feelings ]

1/3

[h2no]

[hey guess what if matt is gonna flop back onto the sand archie is gonna scrabble up into him and straddle him (he can just about get his legs over him without breaking something) and puts his hands on matt's shoulders.]

Changing the world is a noble goal, bro! It's flawed an'-- I know we were part of the problem, but the goal was never to hurt anyone or cause upset!

[he was gonna say more but then AUGHHHH matt calls himself stupid.]

Bro, if you keep callin' yourself stupid I'll--!

[h2no]

I'LL!!!

[h2no]

I'LL TELL SHELLY WHERE HER SKITTY DOLL REALLY WENT!!!!

[h2bro]

[ I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO END THE WORLD ANY MORE, BUT I GUESS YOU JUST WANTED TO END MATT'S. matt is fucking wracked with gasps of just fear and horror. like a banshee but instead of screaming, just a lot of gasps. ]

N-No! Bro! I'm sorry, bro! Aaaughh! I messed up again!! Its just-- you're smarter than me, bro! That's just a fact! I-I can't help feelin' like this, 'cause it's the truth!!

[ waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh. he just grabs archie and pulls him down to lay on him and squeezes his dumb stupid tiny man pirate body, once again definitely hearing something crack. sorry bro. ]

[h2no]

[he is going to be SO SORE later, but archie doesn't care. he actually starts laughing when matt pulls him down in horror.]

I'm tellin' the truth, bro!!! An'-- neither of us is a match for Shelly, right?!