HOT DOG FRENCH FRIES COME ON BABY TELL ME YOUR LIES

[maskormods]

T E S T D R I V E M E M E

Considering apping into MASK OR MENACE? Want to dip your toes into the setting and get a feel of whether your character will fit into it? Or maybe you're just cruising and want to play around? Then you've come to the right place!

Pick any of the following scenarios below or feel free to make up your own, but don't be afraid to throw yourself at someone else's thread, either!

And remember there's only one rule in Test Drive Meme Club: HAVE FUN ON THE TEST DRIVE MEME!

01. The city of Heropa is what one might expect from a small, bright and cheery place, where locals are friendly enough and local shop owners might offer a free drink to welcome you to their fair city. Today is even friendlier, as the Florida city is experiencing a dip in the temperature that allows it to feel more like autumn -- why, at 60 degrees Fahrenheit, people might start breaking out their winter coats soon!

With a certain spooky holiday coming up, the city's main hospital has gotten in the spirit by setting up a Happy Hallow-Vein blood drive at a local block party. Maybe you've stumbled by and had your attention captured by a bunch of phlebotomists dressed up like Dracula, or maybe you volunteered your services as a celebrity imPort, here to encourage others to donate today! Either way, consider donating and then enjoying some fried Oreos and lemonade at the street fair. Gotta top off those fluids, after all!

Oh, but if you're an imPort, you might have to fill out a few extra forms... they have to watch out for alien blood, after all, and you might just run into a couple of people wondering if they can get your powers from your blood.


02. De Chima, Virginia, is a large city with a healthy economy, and though it's quieter than Heropa, there are still large numbers of citizens to be awed at your very presence. Look at you! Organic wonder! Those words have meaning here. Science and technology are the lifeblood of this city, so you're likely to come across a good many locals taking your picture with the newest of devices or recently published PLoS papers. The imPort craze remains high here, and you may find yourself cornered by overzealous imPort fans, media wannabes and opportunists alike, shoving cameras in your face. Some of them MAY ask if you personally know the De Chima Ambassador, Sam Merlotte. Beware if you answer in the affirmative; anything from personal questions about romantic chances to bedroom habits to dietary queries might come up!

In this spooky month of October, special effects companies are doing a limited-time outdoors expo to really show off their stuff! You may see terribly convincing lizardpeople, zombies, monsters, elves and aliens in your midst, delighting in peeling synthetic skin off to reveal horrifying makeup beneath the masks and occasionally ducking away to perform a little last-minute costume maintenance. The kids are agog and aghast at what’s surrounding them, and if you, imPort, happen to be a little less than human, you might get children and adults alike yanking on your ears, tails, and other non-human characteristics while marveling, “Amazing! How do they make it look so real?”

The rest of the expo is spent showing off holograms of explosions, entirely too many smoke machines, demonstrations of stuntmen on bungees, and more! Guests are welcome to get their faces done up as the mythical being of their choice or, for the truly daring, to try their hand at a stunt or two themselves.

03. Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania has carried a reputation for ups and downs ever since imPorts began reappearing again, just those few years prior. Several imPort heroes have put focused efforts into cleaning up the streets of this somewhat infamous city, while a handful of others had swooped in to help the criminal industry thrive. More so here than the streets of any other imPort city, the battle between good and evil looks more like a war of escalation than a heroic tale -- but that war waging is taking a turning tide thanks to the order and regulation established by Ambassador Petyr Baelish. Locals know him best for his library and his hardline on containing the criminal element. Trustworthy guy, they'll tell you. But one man's leadership isn't enough to clean up a troubled city in a year's time; everything from the classic bank heist to brutal bloodbaths can happen around the corner. You have to keep your eyes open and your mind sharp when you live in Maurtia Falls.

Infuriated by the reappearance of some members of this old imPort team, you might run into a few gangmembers spoiling for a fight with any imPort they can get their hands on. You can see them striding angrily down the street, giving innocent people the stinkeye and glancing at everyone's wrists. Eventually, they come across a poor soul that simply has a very distinct aesthetic - look, they just like cyberpunk! - and, having mistaken them for an imPort, drag her into the shadows for what they feel is a well-deserved beat down.

What do you do, imPort? Do you save her? Do you run away to avoid capture yourself? Or, you little villain you, do you go in and beat them up so you can take her purse? It's easy to see that she's carrying an awful lot of money on her!

04. Nonah, North Carolina, is the liveliest of all cities; loud, busy and there's some kind of energy in the air that gets everyone buzzing with excitement. Today, much of that excitement centers around tryouts for The Sing-le Long, the hottest new singing competition/dating show to hit the airwaves! Held in the outdoor ampitheater of a local park, the lines for tryouts are somewhat disorganized, winding around into the audience area—you might come to take a look and find yourself accidentally onstage! Or maybe the tryout coordinators spotted an imPort and bumped you to the front of the line. Either way, prepare to belt out a song and list your turn-ons afterward!

Outside the park, you're still likely to attract attention. Natives may gather around new arrivals and ask both personal and broad questions about life as an imPort, what they are looking forward to, if they're looking for a sidekick. A few restaurants will offer a free appetizer (with the purchase of an entree), and you may be offered product samples from local businesses! Just be sure to speak to an agent before signing any endorsement deals.

Comments

[quickfingers]

[Peter sits back in his chair and listens with a fair bit of convincing if not exaggerated nods, hms and mmmhmms to what Reigen's literally trying to sell him. If he believed even one ounce in the true supernatural he might've been sold by now, but Peter's fun here is definitely in drawing this out.

He leans back in to poke at the pamphlet.] So that's on top of my $10 consult here? Two payments of $20, at least to start to dispel this curse - you're sure it's not demons? Frankly a bit disappointed, but okay...

[He leans forward even further, resting his elbows on the table and his chin on one palm.] What are the other methods? My alternatives. I like to know my options before I shell out, as I'm sure you understand.

[1000p]

Well, [ Here, Reigen reaches past his shawl, into the inside pocket of his suit jacket. He pulls out a pouch; a charm, of sorts. ] You have to cleanse yourself. Typical remedies include long processes of purification both of your person and your home... but I can offer you this. At the price of ten dollars.

[ He extends it, laying it on on the table. It's just an omamori, but Reigen doesn't expect this man to know that. ]

Cheap, if I say so myself. It won't get rid of the curse completely, but it'll hold off any ails for as long as you're holding it. Without it, you might find yourself rather unlucky... in fact, have you suffered from any recent misfortunes?

[quickfingers]

[The fact that Reigen is sophisticatedly dodging Peter's price inquiries is actually quite impressive, he has to admire the upsell capabilities of this guy. He tries to keep a straight face as he looks over the object, flipping it over on the table before thoughtfully looking upward.]

I did stub my toe this morning. Hurt like a bitch. [Going high speeds didn't help, but he tries to keep a stiff upper lip of seriousness while reflecting on it.] Would it stack with the course? Like, extra prevention.

And... protection. [He raises his brows.]

[1000p]

Ah, I see, I see... [ Reigen nods deeply when Peter mentions having stubbed his toe, treating it with the same grave seriousness he would any actual misfortune. ] A sure sign of a settling curse. Your bad luck won't stop here, I'm sorry to say. Soon, you'll begin to see things in pictures you take. Things will pass by in the corner of your eye... if the curse is severe enough, snakes may even manifest in your home.

Naturally, you've come to me to prevent this. [ A deep breath. Reigen leans across the table, artfully cautious in presenting Peter's final options. ] Have no fear. My suggestion is a curse-removal course. [ Nonchalantly, Reigen flips the pamphlet over and gestures to a small section near the bottom--the fee a fair $25. ] Along with it, you get a 25% discount for this protection amulet. If you aren't satisfied with the curse reduction, then there's a 35% discount on any secondary courses you pick!

[quickfingers]

Ah, what a steal. [He can't help a small smirk that forms across his face, but for the sake of things he reaches into his jacket pocket as if to rummage through it and his pants pockets for his cash. He really should start carrying a proper wallet one of these days.]

Despite the fact that it'd be pretty cool to have snakes manifesting in my house - and I mean pretty cool - a curse seems pretty serious. The only thing is I've got... [He pulls out a bill from his pocket, a folded twenty.] A crisp Jackson for you and the dire need for both course and the... the little thing.

What d'you say? [Ball's in your court, con man.]

[1000p]

[ Reigen leans back, crossing his arms, as thought in contemplation. He raises a hand to his chin, humming. ] Well, I'm not an unkind man, and your curse seems severe. I don't want to read about you falling to your death in the paper... and maybe, if I lift the curse, your hair will go back to normal, too.

[ A deliberate pause. Reigen's smile curls, devilishly so. ]

Unfortunately, for that 100% reduction guarantee, we'll have to schedule an appointment. You know, to make sure you don't find any snakes in your drain. I insist I cleanse your home as well. But, well, I won't say no to a man in desperate need. I'll accept that for now, and you can take the charm home with you today.

[quickfingers]

[Peter watches Reigen and only now does his budding appreciation for this man's con truly grow. It's amazing, it's so intricate. It was set up so deliberately, a true hook line and sinker. Peter doesn't like to admit when he's being called out calling someone else out - so he runs his tongue over the top line of his teeth and still smirks across the table.]

Doubt you can fix my hair, bro... but I'm sure you have a fully functioning phone number for me to call and book that appointment? Should I slip you this twenty now, all in good faith you'll arrive later.

[1000p]

Of course. [ He pulls out a business card with his name, phone number, and location, sliding it across the table to Peter. Reigen's smile flatters. In one smooth gesture, he retrieves a planner from inside his breast pocket, flipping it open to the month of October and clicking a pen. ]

If you'd like, we can book that appointment now. If I could just gather some personal information... your name, address, and phone number, if you would. Ah, and there's a cancellation fee... you understand, don't you?

[quickfingers]

Oh, that's clearly understandable. [Peter's eyes are on the planner when he's already begun planning something of his own.]

Right now I'm couch surfing, but I'll forward you an address when I confirm it but my name's Odin Dark. You can reach me through my inbox on the network as such, do you happen to do any cleansings and the such via inbox? I would find that very soothing, personally. I could probably use those on a weekly basis, over an in person thing. That way it would stick with me, right? Wherever I am.

You can charge my account under that name, too. Odin - O d i n, Dark. D a r k. But just make sure you send a bill and explain the charges, should they rack up.

[1000p]

[ Reigen pauses with his pen hovering over the planner, scribbling down the given information with a small chuckle. He snaps the book shut with a very final nod. ]

The curse you carry on your person would be better warded with a thorough physical purification, but... if you believe you've been afflicted with the curse through online interactions, you can leave it to me. I, Reigen Arataka, [ He jerks a thumb at himself, proud. ] Can handle any spiritual matter you can think of!

... The consultation fee and the cost of the amulet should be covered with the money you brought with you. Hm, now that I think of it... couch surfing is a terrible way to attract negative energy. Pent up frustrations might arise, so watch out for sudden mood swings. You're probably susceptible to possession. Keep that charm on you at all times.

[quickfingers]

I'll let you know as soon as I have an address [for Odin] that you can more permanently come to visit me at. Until then, I will definitely have to keep this charm with me and utilize your amazing skills digitally. Feel free to message me at any time.

[He slides the twenty across the table; picking up the card Reigen slid his way and pocketing it. He doesn't mind parting with a little bit of cash (Lord knows he never spends it with how easily it is to lift things,) and he considers it his paying forward to some degree. That and well, a glorious excuse to terrorize Odin.]

I also, clearly - you've seen my hair, you might note that I'm forgetful at times. If I don't recognize your name in the text or remember this conversation all that well, just remind me we're old friends. That'll remind this ol' noggin of what's what.

[1000p]

[ He pockets the twenty, dully noting Peter's--or rather, as far as Reigen knows, Odin's--sudden attentive belief in comparison to his earlier skepticism. It's rare for those who don't believe in psychic or spiritual remedies to change their mind, so the turn makes him think twice about what's being said.

Business, however, is business. Reigen will follow up despite his increasing doubts, which are fed by the other man's apparent forgetfulness. He keeps his fake smile plastered on, however, and doesn't blink twice. ] Of course. I'll make sure to keep in touch. Be wary of any signs of bad luck, and let me know if the curse weighs any more heavily on your shoulders.

[quickfingers]

Will do, Mr. Mystic. [He never got your name, that'll be extra interesting.

Peter holds out his hand across the table as he gets up.] Pleasure meeting you and looking forward to knowing how this'll turn out.

[1000p]

[ Reigen takes his hand and gives him a firm shake, determined to leave a lasting impression on his new client. ] The pleasure is all mine. Thank you for your business, Odin. I look forward to speaking with you again.

[quickfingers]

No prob man, no prob. [He tucks the card and charm into his jacket pocket.]

Have a good day, look forward to hearing from ya. Adios.