etcelsior | HOT DOG FRENCH FRIES COME ON BABY TELL ME YOUR LIES

T E S T D R I V E M E M E

Considering apping into MASK OR MENACE? Want to dip your toes into the setting and get a feel of whether your character will fit into it? Or maybe you're just cruising and want to play around? Then you've come to the right place!

Pick any of the following scenarios below or feel free to make up your own, but don't be afraid to throw yourself at someone else's thread, either!

And remember there's only one rule in Test Drive Meme Club: HAVE FUN ON THE TEST DRIVE MEME!

01. The city of Heropa is what one might expect from a small, bright and cheery place, where locals are friendly enough and local shop owners might offer a free drink to welcome you to their fair city. Today is even friendlier, as the Florida city is experiencing a dip in the temperature that allows it to feel more like autumn -- why, at 60 degrees Fahrenheit, people might start breaking out their winter coats soon!

With a certain spooky holiday coming up, the city's main hospital has gotten in the spirit by setting up a Happy Hallow-Vein blood drive at a local block party. Maybe you've stumbled by and had your attention captured by a bunch of phlebotomists dressed up like Dracula, or maybe you volunteered your services as a celebrity imPort, here to encourage others to donate today! Either way, consider donating and then enjoying some fried Oreos and lemonade at the street fair. Gotta top off those fluids, after all!

Oh, but if you're an imPort, you might have to fill out a few extra forms... they have to watch out for alien blood, after all, and you might just run into a couple of people wondering if they can get your powers from your blood.

02. De Chima, Virginia, is a large city with a healthy economy, and though it's quieter than Heropa, there are still large numbers of citizens to be awed at your very presence. Look at you! Organic wonder! Those words have meaning here. Science and technology are the lifeblood of this city, so you're likely to come across a good many locals taking your picture with the newest of devices or recently published PLoS papers. The imPort craze remains high here, and you may find yourself cornered by overzealous imPort fans, media wannabes and opportunists alike, shoving cameras in your face. Some of them MAY ask if you personally know the De Chima Ambassador, Sam Merlotte. Beware if you answer in the affirmative; anything from personal questions about romantic chances to bedroom habits to dietary queries might come up!

In this spooky month of October, special effects companies are doing a limited-time outdoors expo to really show off their stuff! You may see terribly convincing lizardpeople, zombies, monsters, elves and aliens in your midst, delighting in peeling synthetic skin off to reveal horrifying makeup beneath the masks and occasionally ducking away to perform a little last-minute costume maintenance. The kids are agog and aghast at what’s surrounding them, and if you, imPort, happen to be a little less than human, you might get children and adults alike yanking on your ears, tails, and other non-human characteristics while marveling, “Amazing! How do they make it look so real?”

The rest of the expo is spent showing off holograms of explosions, entirely too many smoke machines, demonstrations of stuntmen on bungees, and more! Guests are welcome to get their faces done up as the mythical being of their choice or, for the truly daring, to try their hand at a stunt or two themselves.

03. Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania has carried a reputation for ups and downs ever since imPorts began reappearing again, just those few years prior. Several imPort heroes have put focused efforts into cleaning up the streets of this somewhat infamous city, while a handful of others had swooped in to help the criminal industry thrive. More so here than the streets of any other imPort city, the battle between good and evil looks more like a war of escalation than a heroic tale -- but that war waging is taking a turning tide thanks to the order and regulation established by Ambassador Petyr Baelish. Locals know him best for his library and his hardline on containing the criminal element. Trustworthy guy, they'll tell you. But one man's leadership isn't enough to clean up a troubled city in a year's time; everything from the classic bank heist to brutal bloodbaths can happen around the corner. You have to keep your eyes open and your mind sharp when you live in Maurtia Falls.

Infuriated by the reappearance of some members of this old imPort team, you might run into a few gangmembers spoiling for a fight with any imPort they can get their hands on. You can see them striding angrily down the street, giving innocent people the stinkeye and glancing at everyone's wrists. Eventually, they come across a poor soul that simply has a very distinct aesthetic - look, they just like cyberpunk! - and, having mistaken them for an imPort, drag her into the shadows for what they feel is a well-deserved beat down.

What do you do, imPort? Do you save her? Do you run away to avoid capture yourself? Or, you little villain you, do you go in and beat them up so you can take her purse? It's easy to see that she's carrying an awful lot of money on her!

04. Nonah, North Carolina, is the liveliest of all cities; loud, busy and there's some kind of energy in the air that gets everyone buzzing with excitement. Today, much of that excitement centers around tryouts for The Sing-le Long, the hottest new singing competition/dating show to hit the airwaves! Held in the outdoor ampitheater of a local park, the lines for tryouts are somewhat disorganized, winding around into the audience area—you might come to take a look and find yourself accidentally onstage! Or maybe the tryout coordinators spotted an imPort and bumped you to the front of the line. Either way, prepare to belt out a song and list your turn-ons afterward!

Outside the park, you're still likely to attract attention. Natives may gather around new arrivals and ask both personal and broad questions about life as an imPort, what they are looking forward to, if they're looking for a sidekick. A few restaurants will offer a free appetizer (with the purchase of an entree), and you may be offered product samples from local businesses! Just be sure to speak to an agent before signing any endorsement deals.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You are much easier to speak to than she is. I had to say codephrases with her. I suppose that's fitting of someone who becomes a General.

[He also acted TOTALLY SUSPICIOUS ON PURPOSE because he's an asshole.]

I believe you also have an astromech as a part of the Ghost's crew?

Hera's a lot more cautious than me. And more into the protocol.

[ That is, in fact, why she's rising up the ranks and Kanan is staying out of it. Well, there are lots of reasons for that, but sure. He's not even at all surprised that Kay says she'll be a general soon. Of course she will. ]

Yeah, an old C1 unit. We call him Chopper. He's Hera's. [ Not so much in a pure ownership sense as in a "this angry cat only likes one person" sense. ]

I've seen him around. He seems awful, and old. I've always wanted to meet him.

[Droids, am I right.]

...Why does that not surprise me?

[ He can't honestly say he particularly hopes the droid shows up. Chopper has never liked him, though he's useful. Still - ]

Hera would be happy to see him.

[ And Kanan likes making Hera happy. ]

And you wouldn't. Do you have a problem with droids, Kanan?

[kay you literally just called chopper awful, you KNOW why he wouldn't like him.]

Nope. Chopper has a problem with me, though. ...He pretty much has a problem with everyone who isn't Hera.

[ He shrugs, because yeah, Chopper is awful. But useful! ]

That sounds about accurate.

[He used to have a problem with everyone who wasn't Cassian.]

I wonder how they're going to make you fill out those forms when you're obviously blind.

[ Kanan pauses at that. ]

...Do you mean, paper forms?

Yes. Paper forms. Has no one told you yet? We're on a primitive planet. No spaceships. No space travel. Travel even from one side of the planet to another can take days.

I knew it was primitive, I just didn't realize they're so primitive they don't even do their record-keeping electronically.

[ How bass-akwards are these people? ]

Whatever. Hera or Ezra can help with anything I need to fill out.

There's some electronic record-keeping, but they seem to prefer paper for in-person activities.

Do you even know what forms you're being asked to fill out?

If I can't get them electronically, Hera or Ezra can tell me.

[ Annoying, but not actually a hindrance. At least on a computer there would be a text-to-voice function, but he trusts Hera and Ezra to be his eyes when necessary. ]

Or you could ask me. The one right here.

[ Kanan raises his eyebrows at that. ]

That's - hm. [ He's not sure he entirely trusts this droid yet - oh, not that he thinks Kay will try to kill him or anything like that, what would even be the point? But he's far too used to Chopper's antics to readily trust another snarky droid.

He also doesn't want to offend Kay just yet, either. ]

I guess I won't know unless I try.

[And Kay sounds absolutely pleased when he speaks up:]

Well, the form they want you to sign here is consenting to donating your blood. I suppose that's why they were giving away the free food.

Blood donation. They need blood for transfusions? Would my blood even be compatible with anyone native to this world?

[ With so many people from different universes and timelines, it does beg the question! ]

That's why they want to also take blood to test first. And then I assume, if you pass, they take a lot more.

Well, I guess it can't hurt. And if they think it might help someone...

[ Jedi help people. Why not? ]

...You would do it, just like that?

I'll want one of the people actually doing the bleeding to explain what the procedure actually involves, but yeah, sure. There are plenty of people here, no one's in serious pain, no disturbances to speak of.

[ So far as he can tell, no one is using the Dark Side around here. That's as much an assurance as anything. ]

And this is why there's a lot less rebels than there are Imperials. All you need is someone to ask nicely and you'll just give them your necessary fluids.

No, all I need is someone to ask nicely and explain to me how they'll be doing it and how it will help, with logic. Clearly no one here is dying from having their blood taken.

I know no one is dying. There would certainly be a lot more mayhem if people were.

It's less about the lack of presently dying individuals, and more about the trust you have. That all rebels have, in the kindness of others.

[He keeps meaning for it to sound like he's being admonishing, but instead he just sounds long-suffering with a hint of fondness.]

[ Kanan shrugs a little. ]

Trusting someone is always a risk. If we never trusted anyone we'd be just like the Imperials - always expecting to be stabbed in the back, never able to really work together.

And that's why our side is "stabbed in the back" with more frequency.

... Regardless. I will make certain you aren't harmed here.

Edited 2017-11-01 21:21 (UTC)

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kanyounot - 2017-11-02 20:39 (UTC) - Expand

reexamined - 2017-11-02 20:56 (UTC) - Expand

kanyounot - 2017-11-02 22:32 (UTC) - Expand