etcelsior | HERE I COME

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test drive

HERE I COME

NOTE: This is the final test drive of 2019 as apps will be closed in December.

T E S T D R I V E M E M E

Considering apping into MASK OR MENACE? Want to dip your toes into the setting and get a feel of whether your character will fit into it? Or maybe you're just cruising and want to play around? Then you've come to the right place!

Pick any of the following scenarios below or feel free to make up your own, but don't be afraid to throw yourself at someone else's thread, either!

And remember there's only one rule in Test Drive Meme Club: HAVE FUN ON THE TEST DRIVE MEME!

01.The city of Heropa, Florida is what one might expect from a small, bright and cheery place, where locals are friendly enough and local shop owners might offer a free drink to welcome you to their fair city. Some of the locals might thank you for always lending your service to the nation, while others might not say anything -- but if you have something nasty to say, better not say anything at all, right?

The recent dimensional anomalies have disrupted people's daily business more than a little, but the latest danger is a herd of zombies shambling towards the annual Mister and Miss Corncob beauty pageant. Right in the middle of the swimsuit competition, too! Of course, who gets the crown is partially based on audience appreciation — are you going to take out some of the undead or cheer your favorite participant on to victory? Either way, you're (probably) a hero!

02. De Chima, Virginia, is a large city with a healthy economy, with large numbers of citizens waiting to be awed by your very presence. Look at you! Organic wonder! Science and technology are the lifeblood of this city, so you're likely to come across a good many locals taking your picture with the newest of devices. The imPort craze remains high here, and you may find yourself cornered by overzealous imPort fans, media wannabes and opportunists alike, shoving cameras in your face. Their questions are likely to be fairly mundane, however; get ready for an interview about your taste in romantic partners, personal underwear choices, favorite foods, and more!

It's nearly Halloween, and the annual city parade and costume contest are underway! You've got one, right? The locals just love it! If you don't, well, that's okay — just for imPorts, there's a special costume rummage bin at the start of the parade route. Try cobbling something together from costume shop donations and items left behind by ported-out heroes! Then strut your stuff and prepare to be cheered for!

03. Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania has had its ups and downs since imPorts started disappearing. The city's political core now gutted with its mayor and supreme ambassador exported out, the streets have returned to the hands of the local people -- and incidental, the local criminal element. More so here than the streets of any other imPort city, the battle between good and evil looks more like a war of escalation than a heroic tale.

Despite the lack of gratitude that's in it for you, you may want to step in once you see a very, very sad supervillain wandering Maurtia Falls' streets. Dressed in a cape that appears to be a large swath of fabric purchased from a nearby sewing store, galaxy-themed leggings and no shirt is a man who runs right into your vicinity before striking a pose and yelling, "Everyone, stop before me and my wrath! I am Mister Mars, and provided you give me what I ask for, nobody needs to get hurt!"

At which point Mister Mars snatches an old woman's purse, loudly laughs in her face, and begins to float upwards. By the time he reaches the height of the tallest building in the area, he's beginning to look slightly panicked as he fails to really be able to move anywhere but up. Meanwhile, the old woman has begun shaking her cane at him and screaming quite an assortment of alarming expletives.

Maybe you should help one or the other out? If not, just lean back and enjoy the show.

04. Nonah, North Carolina, is the liveliest of all cities; loud, busy and there's always some kind of energy in the air that gets everyone buzzing with excitement. To be American is to be part of a melting pot, and that there’s more money to be made by the thriving local industries hardly hurts.Natives may gather around new arrivals and ask both personal and broad questions about life as an imPort, what they are looking forward to, what their favorite article of underwear is. A few night clubs offer free entrance - just this once!

In the middle of the city's biggest park is an autumn tradition — a corn maze! Of course, it's not real corn, since there hasn't been time to grow it. But craft supplies store Mikey's is sponsoring a maze built with genuine imitation corn, and hundreds of locals have already enjoyed getting lost inside! Curiously, few of them have come out the exit, and those who venture inside will discover the maze is twistier and deeper than they ever could have anticipated. Somehow, it's bigger on the inside, thanks (no doubt) to some dastardly villain's powers. Will you try to navigate a way to the exit, forge your way through the stalks, or have a nap?

05. Jeopardy, Nevada by all rights shouldn't exist. A glowing neon city smack in the middle of the desert, the only reason it's still here is that the central nuclear power plant has tapped half a mile down into a subterranean lake for its water supply. So though the desert around it may be barren, the occupants of this small city are happily self sufficient. Those weird figures you see out of the corner of your eyes? Don't worry too much. Probably just weird radiation after effects. Jeopardy has a lot of those.

Things are quiet in Jeopardy. Weirdly quiet. In fact, way, way too quiet. But if you ask any of the citizens of the city why they won't talk to you, they just raise a finger and make a shhhhing sound and then point down the street towards the church. If you try to shake them, they grit their teeth. WHY WILL NO ONE SPEAK TO YOU?

(The one who is silent the longest wins a new fridge.)

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[ okay yeah she definitely recognizes that voice. either this is a poorly timed port-in, or... ]

Clap twice if you're human.

What-

[Well. It's hard to coordinate holding his phone and doing that but. He gets it on his shoulder and tilts his ear to the phone and claps loudly twice. If it were anyone else, he'd be trying to reason and talk but. It's Ruka. He gets it from her.]

Does that help?

[ Well... that does at least imply a physical form... and gives her a place to look so!! Following the wall of the maze to hopefully loop towards the source of the clapping and not... answering her comm... which is still buzzing for a phone call...

Why is anyone friends with her again. ]

[Damn it, Ruka. Why is he friends with her again?]

Ruka? Keep talking, I'm following. [Fuck it, he's cutting through as best he can, he's big enough he can shove these stalks around. He finally bursts out into a new path he hasn't been on and looks around, holding his phone up with the screen on for light.]

Ruka!

[ She feels something coming before she hears it, before she sees it, but she still jolts backwards with surprise when a guy bursts through the wall of corn, all long limbs and dark shadows, a silhouette made unfamiliar by the hour and the distance of memory.

The voice, however— ]

Wait, Tadashi? [ seriously???? ] Are you for real?

[ because if this is a spooky shape-shifter she is gonna be pissed. ]

Ruka!

[Oh thank god, he wasn't hallucinating. There's a person here. Tadashi waves his phone, then pulls out a little fire in his other hand to better help light up the situation.

He's still got all those burn scars, sorry Ruka.]

Thank god. Okay, you're here and you're real.

Me?! Of course I'm real! [ Her heart's racing a mile a minute for the scare, and incredulity comes off a little like chastisement. ] What about you? When did you even get here?

[ With the fire — could he always do that? — it's easier to see the look of him. He's mostly the same as she remembers, of course, save for the scars, but her eye only flicks over them like checking the pattern on a shirt. They never really talked about it, but unlike most, Ruka always knew his fate. She'd known before they met.

And the thing about the dead is that they can't grow past you, not by leaving; he'll never return to this world as an old man, and the years have been short enough to preserve her mostly as he'd remember, too. Sure, she wears her hair up a little differently, but she hasn't gotten any taller, any more maimed than usual. If anything, she might look a little better than he remembers: skin a little less sallow, cheeks a little less hollow, light a little less dull.

She looks a little more suspicious than happy, though. ] You did come in by the Porter. Right? You didn't just wake up here in a corn field. Right?

Yes, I came in through the porter earlier today. They took a look at my file and just... kinda threw their hands up at me. [Just go, go wherever, you know the place.]

Was walking around refamiliarizing myself and ended up wandering into here. [Ruka looks better. He can't remember the last last time he saw her, but he remembers dropping off food to her door and she wasn't.... great. But this is a good change and he's relieved she's here.]

Now that we're both here we can figure out a way to get out of here. Of course it's Halloween. [god he hates halloween here in the porter cities.]

[ That sounds about how they treated her coming back. Oh, it's you again. Here's your new housing assignment, let us know if you have something else lined up. With that, it really does seem likely that this Tadashi... is actually Tadashi. The tension bleeds out from her expression, but her shoulders and her posture are as tight as always.

Her hands drop loose to her sides, and she spares a glance for the break in the corn wall where he'd burst through. ]

There's no zombies or anything running around yet, but that's not much consolation. [ There's a reason she's not in Heropa at the moment. ] But, with the way it's going anyway, I think cheating our way out would probably go more badly.

[ Her head tilts a little, indicating the corridor of corn ahead of them. ] Shall we? We might as well try to get out of here before we have to.

[Okay at least she knows for sure it's him now and isn't acting like he'll grow a second head or something any second.

He looks to the path and heaves a big sigh.]

Yeah. I've been trying to get out of here for- [Pause, reading the time on his phone without looking hold on] about four hours now. Might be better with us working together. [And hey, if their comms' batteries die, he always has a light handy.]

Jeez, you've never done maze puzzles before? [ THE ONLY EXPLANATION.... the tease is pretty lighthearted. ] I only got here about, half an hour ago, I think, so you might have been going in circles...

[ She frowns a little at the thought, giving him another once-over before setting on the path. The fallen leaves and husks litter the ground, letting each footstep crunch beneath them.

But perhaps it is a little strange, how uninquisitive she is about everything else — no comment for burns she'd never seen, no confusion for his time-accuracy. No immediate press stop whether he went home, or if he knows the distance he's been gone, or listing off who is or isn't still here.

But perhaps that should be expected; how many other people are so used to their friends coming and going and coming back again? ]

We're not in any danger, at least. Oh— [ She reaches into her purse as they walk, and after a moment of digging offers him a wrapped protein bar. ] —here. You didn't get a chance to eat before you ended up in here, right?

They aren't as common as you'd think where I was.

[Does he mean San Fransokyo? Does he mean... after? Who knows. At the moment, he's waiting on her and... oh god that. Yes. He reaches for the protein bar.]

You're right, I didn't. I just. Was walking around to get used to everything again and ended up walking in here. [He's unwrapping it while he looks around and then a bite and god bless you Ruka.]

It's been a day.

Nobody ever thinks about that. [ Next thing out of the purse is a bottle of water, which she also hands over without ceremony. ] We get zipped around so often, and trapped in weird places, or held hostage outright, and nobody ever prepares for it.

[ She closes her purse and takes another glance at the maize walls, and up, checking for some taller reference for position — a street lamp or something. ]

I have to keep telling Jaime to bring snacks if he's going to throw himself into obvious time-traps like this, but he never remembers the next time. [ Her nose scrunches when she looks back towards Tadashi, a little teasing. ] People are a lot more agreeable if you feed them.

You're not wrong. [He remembers the submarine and everything around that. It's true, no one prepares for it.

There isn't any surprise to know Jaime's still here, or that he and Ruka are friends. He just munches the protein bar then - when offered - takes the water for a couple quick sips.]

Thanks. You'd think like this I wouldn't need it, but. [Well. Bodies are weird, even dead ones. He looks back up and, now that he's gotten something digesting, reaches his phone up high and snaps a picture one direction.] Let's see what we've got.

[ Ruka, meanwhile: always prepared to be kidnapped. ]

Why wouldn't you need it? It's not like you're a proper undead-type. [ They've never discussed it, but she doesn't tip-toe around it. ] Do you see anything useful?

[Yeah he's gonna ignore that undead conversation and see what he's got.

A lot of corn.

A looooooot of fake corn. And off in the distance...]

Yeah, a tree. It's pretty far off it looks like. But it's something. Lemme-- [He focuses and sets his camera to panoramic, then marks one line in the dirt so he knows where he started and takes one big 360 picture.]

.... Looks like it's just that tree, at least in the dark.

That's one marker, then. But that'll only get us a cardinal direction — we don't know which side the exit's on, yet.

[ His aversion to the topic is noted, but — hey, he brought it up first. Maybe he'll be willing to say something else later, but she knows when to let a matter drop. She's be a poor excuse for an empath, if she didn't. ]

Follow the right side, then?

I guess so. [Deep, unnecessary inhale of breath before starting to lead the way.]

We'll figure this out. [They have to. They're smart, they work... decently well together as far as he remembers as far back as the shark park day, and... well! He has to believe in something right now.]

Edited 2019-11-01 06:18 (UTC)

Worst comes to worst— [ ... considering the scars, suggesting to burn the maze down is probably out of line. She pauses, and thinks of a different track. ] —I could probably cheat our way out. Or we'll get tracked down, if we're stuck here long enough.

[ Hittin some corners, meanderin through some corn... the eeriest part is probably the quiet. There's not even birds. ]

[Listen...... don't think he hasn't thought about burning the maze down. The only reason he hasn't yet is because he can't do a controlled area burn in this fire hazard.]

I guess if nothing else we could call Jaime. [Considering the last time he ported in and texted him, it'd probably be better if Ruka called.

He follows alongside her, making sure none of the corn touches her. He doesn't trust this shit. Especially with how quiet it is.]

When did they start doing this anyway? I don't remember any corn mazes before.

I think it's just a Halloween thing. I've seen people talk about these kinds of things in smaller towns, so maybe they're just popular?

[ She doesn't take up a lot of space, especially once her gloves hands are folded behind her back — at least that much is the same, but blue is a new color. ]

I'd like to save that for a last resort, though. Calling, I mean. [ Crunch crunch crunch. Another turn. Oh, hey, jack o' lanterns. Those are new. ] It's been kind of a busy week, so he's trying to take the night off of this kind of thing. He got roped into helping out with the church's trunk-or-treat party, and I don't want to pull him away from a good time.

[ And in an absolute worst case scenario, he'll know the moment she gets hurt or starts panicking anyway, so it's fine. It's fine. Still... that's a lot of detail from someone as anti-social as Ruka...

And look! More jack o' lanterns. These ones look bigger. Spooky. ]

[Yeah that is suspiciously a lot of information. Also what would Jaime have to take the night off from? Being... friends? There's something he's missing.

But for now, they're walking and Tadashi is keeping eyes open for anything amiss. Like big... bigger spookier pumpkins.]

There's no way that's any good.

[ She can feel his suspicion like a fly on her neck, but talk and attention toward the pumpkins means it's given a plausible source.

The problem with knowing everyone's secrets from the outset is you have no idea who would — or wouldn't — have been given what you'd gracelessly stolen. ]

Maybe not. [ squints... ] Should we... leave them alone? Or...

[He stares at them a couple seconds more before looking to find a path around them.]

I think that might be the safest bet for now.

If you're sure...

[ She follows after, gaze lingering on the pumpkins as they pass.

Finally, though, she has to ask... ]

... How long has it been, for you? I don't think I was still here, when you left.

HERE I COME

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