etcelsior | SLAY BELLS RING

T E S T D R I V E M E M E

Considering apping into MASK OR MENACE? Want to dip your toes into the setting and get a feel of whether your character will fit into it? Or maybe you're just cruising and want to play around? Then you've come to the right place!

Pick any of the following scenarios below or feel free to make up your own, but don't be afraid to throw yourself at someone else's thread, either!

And remember there's only one rule in Test Drive Meme Club: HAVE FUN ON THE TEST DRIVE MEME!

01.The city of Heropa is what one might expect from a small, bright and cheery place, where locals are friendly enough and local shop owners might offer a free drink to welcome you to their fair city.

Although even Florida can get chilly during the winter, they won't let that spoil the fun. It's not beach weather, but it's time for a palm tree decorating contest to bring everyone into the holiday spirit! Note that isn't technically Christmas decorating. Pick a theme, any theme, from holidays to puppies to capitalism and have at. The natives will judge and vote for their favorite- so really, there's nothing wrong with a little pandering. The winner will get both the honor of having defeated their rivals, and a free lifetime supply of Italian frozen ice and hot dogs from the sponsoring local stand.

Those who just aren't interested in competing might be called in to judge another competition down the beach: a youth sand-sculpting contest! Only one team can walk away with the grand prize of a laser tag package, but can you bring yourself to be harsh on those wide, hopeful eyes?

Speaking of that Italian ice, there are some free samples being offered to tempt you into competing for the prize. And, shocking to no experienced imPort, someone has meddled with it just a bit. Each of the three flavors will have a different effect and, fates help us, they can be stacked, though the effects only last about an hour. Strawberry with fill you with team spirit, encouraging you to decorate a tree in a group or spontaneously form a new rock group. Even those that usually Only Work Alone will want to form a team. Lemon will spike your competitive nature. You're not just going to win, you are going to wave the severed heads of your competitors before their weeping mothers-, er, that is, win by a lot. Finally, lime flavor with up your silliness factor. Everything's fun and happy at the Holiday season, right? Why not pull a prank or two while you're here, or just enjoy a nice knock-knock joke with friends. Hopefully you didn't get that lemon-lime mix and now must pull the most epic prank ever or show that you are the single happiest person on this or any other world. That could get complicated.

02. De Chima, Virginia, is a large city with a healthy economy, with large numbers of citizens waiting to be awed by your very presence. Look at you! Organic wonder! Synthetic wonder! Whatever you might be, those words have meaning here. Science and technology are the lifeblood of this city, so you're likely to come across a good many locals taking your picture with the newest of devices or recently published PLoS papers. The imPort craze remains high here, and you may find yourself cornered by overzealous imPort fans, media wannabes and opportunists alike, shoving cameras in your face.

With Christmas coming, the producers behind a guerilla new reality show are hard at work getting new footage—starring you! Areas of the city with the most foot traffic have been absolutely blanketed in mistletoe. If you happen to pass beneath a sprig, you might find a small camera crew jumping out of nowhere, urging you to give the person next to you a smooch—and thanks to the strange radio waves coming out of the unit on the executive producer's wrist, you'll feel a little compelled to do so!

...except the compulsion isn't that strong, so those who don't kiss on the first meet can easily break out of it. Your next choice: give the camera crew a piece of your mind, or ask the would-be kissee out for coffee? They are pretty cute...

03. Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania has carried a reputation for ups and downs ever since imPorts began reappearing again, just those few years prior. Several imPort heroes have put focused efforts into cleaning up the streets of this somewhat infamous city, while a handful of others had swooped in to help the criminal industry thrive. More so here than the streets of any other imPort city, the battle between good and evil looks more like a war of escalation than a heroic tale. Everything from the classic bank heist to brutal bloodbaths can happen around the corner. You have to keep your eyes open and your mind sharp when you live in Maurtia Falls, and hostility against imPorts can spike. The emergence of locals with superpowers is hardly helping...

The downtown mall is tilting the balance solidly toward welcoming to imPorts with a Winter Welcome Festival. All the storefronts and many temporary kiosks occupied by local vendors are holding special sales, and newly arrived imPorts are given a coupon book to make the most of them. The food court has some free goodies for participants to mix and mingle.

Unfortunately, a local rogue with the alias of Klone Kringle is here to spoil the fun. After a small boom echoes throughout the mall, everything dissolves into chaos as dozens of copies of a man dressed in a polyester Santa Claus costume begin looting the retailers! The guns they wield that shoot snow and ice might not be lethal, but they can certainly slow you down (and give you a cold). Will you be the hero and help take down Kringle(s), or will you seize the opportunity to do some theft of your own?

04. Nonah, North Carolina, is the liveliest of all cities; loud, busy and there's always some kind of energy in the air that gets everyone buzzing with excitement.

Although Nonah sees milder winters than some imPort cities, it's strangely snowy today, with icicles hanging everywhere. They definitely weren't there this morning, and no storm has passed through, so what gives? A downtown disturbance makes it clear: a would-be supervillain calling himself THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN has attacked. Is he some kind of mutant, a scientifically modified human, or is there just a lot of arctic-tech stuffed into his snowsuit? Whatever its source, he's spraying ice and snow far and wide from his hands, turning the area into a winter wonderland and absolutely ruining sales for local businesses that depend on foot traffic! Also, some citizens have been frozen in blocks of ice. That's bad.

Come, heroes, and defeat this icy menace! That, or build a really cool snowman. It's your call.

05. Jeopardy, Nevada by all rights shouldn't exist. A glowing neon city smack in the middle of the desert, the only reason it's still here is that the central nuclear power plant has tapped half a mile down into a subterranean lake for its water supply. So though the desert around it may be barren, the occupants of this small city are happily self sufficient. Those weird figures you see out of the corner of your eyes? Don't worry too much. Probably just weird radiation after effects. Jeopardy has a lot of those.

Saturnalia is just around the corner and Jeopardy is in full festive swing! The seven-day marathon of festivities includes a parade, with a ((cw: arachnophobia)) very special float from the Web Mistress's church; a day long city-wide paintball game; an attempt to break the world record for largest bingo game with everyone playing in dead silence; and a feast!

Usually the feast focuses on the symbolic ritual sacrifice of a giant chocolate Santa Claus, but this year is a little different. In an effort to display their gratitude for imPorts keeping their city from being ground zero of the apocalypse, they are making an entirely different set of effigies: you! Instead of one Big Chocolate Santa there are over a hundred 1/6th scale chocolate humans, each lovingly recreated in the visage of their favourite imports. Whether or not that loving visage is accurate may be up for debate, but... Hey, want to eat a chocolate rendition of your own head? Now you can!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Lando worries he's said something wrong, when a reply doesn't come right back. But once the reply does come, he understands the reason for the pause. ]

Well kriff.

That Porter must really like you.

that or it hates me

kind of nice i don't have to re-explain who i am to you, again, at least

your unit is still here by the way, and your stuff

didn't know if you still want it

With the Porter, I don't think there's much of a difference.

You kept all that?

[ He's sort of touched. ]

How long's it been, since I disappeared last?

[ Another pause. ]

little over year

year and a couple months

Huh.

Time sure is funny when you keep popping in and out across universes.

yeah

tell me about it

you want a pick up?

I could use one, yeah.

I have a bad feeling about this city.

it's a pretty creepy place, no lie

where you at? i'll be about twenty minutes

In twenty minutes, I can meet you at the Porter building. It'll do me some good to get walking out of here.

alright, sounds good

i'll meet you there

[ And indeed, twenty minutes later, Poe steps out of the Porter building to take a look around for his newly returned friend. ]

[ Lando's looking a little older than when Poe first knew him, a lot older than when he last was here. His hair is longer, facial hair more robust, cape just as fashionable as ever. He's standing by the entrance with his hands on his hips, but as soon as he sees Poe approaching, he steps forward, a wide grin on his face. ]

Poe Dameron! You're a sight for sore eyes.

[ Poe's grin spread easily, stepping right up to him and then pulling the man into a tight hug. ]

Lando! It's good to see you, man. Welcome back.

[ The hug is returned just as forcefully, with Lando pulling back to clasp his hands on Poe's shoulders and give him a good once over. ]

You look just like I remember you. How are you, you old scoundrel?

I should hope a year without you wouldn't completely destroy my good looks.

[ A slight smirk. ]

I'm alright. I'm good. You've missed a lot. We've saved the world a few times.

You never know, with the Porter. [ He said he hadn't been jerked around the timeline like Lando was, but it's good to see the proof with his own two eyes. ]

What did the world do that it needed saving "a few times?"

Uh... well reality kind of fell apart? The Death Star showed up, goddesses from another dimension tried to eat the whole thing--

Uh, it was a time. That's all I can really say. I think it's over, now, at least.

Hold on, hold on, back up... Goddesses tried to eat the Death Star?

[ But he won't press. He waves a hand. ]

Sounds like a real hell of a time you went through. Glad I missed it, though I had a hell of a time on my own back home while I was gone.

No, no, that was-- just -- It's all really confusing and I am definitely not the best guy to lay it out for you.

[ He frowns. ]

What happened back home?

Things were fine for a while... Good, even. Cleaned up Cloud City, started up a new business venture in droid manufacturing: Calrissian Enterprises. Met someone... [ He gets a little dreamy-eyed but plows right on through rather than saying more. ]

Then a mad Pau'an terrorist tried to assassinate me and reprogram all my droids to attack their organic masters. Me 'n' Han and a few others had to team up to stop him.

[ Poe grimaced. ]

Oh. Yeah, that sounds... real fun.

... The droids turn out alright?

Yeah, they're fine. It was a bit of a close call with Han's kid and the chef droid, but we made it in time.

Actually, it was a team of droids that saved my ass out there. [ He smiles, thinking fondly of the Elthree Assault Team. ]

SLAY BELLS RING

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