etcelsior | KISSES YOUR FACE

T E S T D R I V E M E M E

Considering apping into MASK OR MENACE? Want to dip your toes into the setting and get a feel of whether your character will fit into it? Or maybe you're just cruising and want to play around? Then you've come to the right place!

Pick any of the following scenarios below or feel free to make up your own, but don't be afraid to throw yourself at someone else's thread, either!

And remember there's only one rule in Test Drive Meme Club: HAVE FUN ON THE TEST DRIVE MEME!

01.The city of Heropa is what one might expect from a small, bright and cheery place, where locals are friendly enough and local shop owners might offer a free drink to welcome you to their fair city.

The current craze sweeping the city and social media is getting people on their feet: the Camp Midnight Challenge! Based on a popular video game, the goal is to get the funkiest, silliest, most eye-catching dance sequence on video—with a twist! Successful completion of this challenge requires getting an imPort to join in a duo dance that incorporates their powers! Swarms of eager teens, tweens and would-be BlueTube stars are out and about on the sidewalk looking for newcomers to join in. If they spot you, you better come up with a good excuse or put your dancing shoes on!

02. De Chima, Virginia, is a large city with a healthy economy, with large numbers of citizens waiting to be awed by your very presence. Look at you! Organic wonder! Synthetic wonder! Whatever you might be, those words have meaning here. Science and technology are the lifeblood of this city, so you're likely to come across a good many locals taking your picture with the newest of devices or recently published PLoS papers. The imPort craze remains high here, and you may find yourself cornered by overzealous imPort fans, media wannabes and opportunists alike, shoving cameras in your face.

Today in De Chima, there's the unveiling of a brand new invention in the convention centre park! With a simple scan, it will print out your Closest Love Match of the other individuals present, along with your percentage of compatibility and a free coupon to get lunch with your new date if you match 90% or higher!

A little odd that it seems that nearly every couple has 90% or higher, isn't it? What's the probability that the scanner is broken?

03. Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania has carried a reputation for ups and downs ever since imPorts began reappearing again, just those few years prior. Several imPort heroes have put focused efforts into cleaning up the streets of this somewhat infamous city, while a handful of others had swooped in to help the criminal industry thrive. More so here than the streets of any other imPort city, the battle between good and evil looks more like a war of escalation than a heroic tale. Everything from the classic bank heist to brutal bloodbaths can happen around the corner. You have to keep your eyes open and your mind sharp when you live in Maurtia Falls, and hostility against imPorts can spike. The emergence of locals with superpowers is hardly helping...

The downtown mall is tilting the balance solidly toward welcoming to imPorts with a Winter Welcome Festival. All the storefronts and many temporary kiosks occupied by local vendors are holding special sales, and newly arrived imPorts are given a coupon book to make the most of them. The food court has some free goodies for participants to mix and mingle.

Unfortunately, a local rogue with the alias of Klone Kringle is here to spoil the fun. After a small boom echoes throughout the mall, everything dissolves into chaos as dozens of copies of a man dressed in a polyester Santa Claus costume begin looting the retailers! The guns they wield that shoot snow and ice might not be lethal, but they can certainly slow you down (and give you a cold). Will you be the hero and help take down Kringle(s), or will you seize the opportunity to do some theft of your own?

04. Nonah, North Carolina, is the liveliest of all cities; loud, busy and there's always some kind of energy in the air that gets everyone buzzing with excitement.

Although Nonah sees milder winters than some imPort cities, it's strangely snowy today, with icicles hanging everywhere. They definitely weren't there this morning, and no storm has passed through, so what gives? A downtown disturbance makes it clear: a would-be supervillain calling himself THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN has attacked. Is he some kind of mutant, a scientifically modified human, or is there just a lot of arctic-tech stuffed into his snowsuit? Whatever its source, he's spraying ice and snow far and wide from his hands, turning the area into a winter wonderland and absolutely ruining sales for local businesses that depend on foot traffic! Also, some citizens have been frozen in blocks of ice. That's bad.

Come, heroes, and defeat this icy menace! That, or build a really cool snowman. It's your call.

05. Jeopardy, Nevada by all rights shouldn't exist. A glowing neon city smack in the middle of the desert, the only reason it's still here is that the central nuclear power plant has tapped half a mile down into a subterranean lake for its water supply. So though the desert around it may be barren, the occupants of this small city are happily self sufficient. Those weird figures you see out of the corner of your eyes? Don't worry too much. Probably just weird radiation after effects. Jeopardy has a lot of those.

You're in luck! You're just in time for Jeopardy's traditional Valentine's Race!

The premise of the race is simple: hogtie your lover, throw them over your shoulder (or back, if needed), and carry them from the bank of the train station (it's actually not a train station, it's a non-functioning movie set that's been turned into a museum, but it's still called "the train station.") While the tradition says "lover," as long as the person you tie up has consented to it, it's allowed!

At the end of the race, the Mayor gives a short speech about love, and movies, and tradition. She's also baked thousands of Valentine's and heart-themed desserts for all participants and audience members! They just happen to all be... shaped like the actual heart organ, rather than the symbol.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"No, I can't say that I do." Bean crosses his arms, like the miserly little shit that he is. "People are boring. Too easy to figure out. Give me a challenge. Something to stimulate my rather enormous mind."

And humble, too.

"If they housed you in this city, then you can come and criminal-watch all you like later. If they housed you somewhere else, it's only a trip through the Porter to get here."

It's not that he's laughing at the kid, but Bob laughs again, this time a little louder. He's pretty fucking sure there's nothing wrong with bigging up what you're good at, but he's also just as sure this kid hasn't got a clue how interesting people can be either.

"You don't mess around do you, boyo? Well, little man, I reckon a lot of people would like other people to be easy to understand." Himself included.

"Nah, I'm not from here," he means he's freshly housed elsewhere, but he doesn't bother to clarify. "Sometimes a quiet pint'll do. You live here?"

Bean shrugs. It's not an unfair accusation. He does tend to take things more seriously than most kids his age-- or even people older.

"People are inherently selfish. When push comes to shove, most people will act in their own self interest. Once you know that, you can predict what moves they'll make for any given provocation."

Bean can't speak to the concept of a 'quiet pint.' Even if he were old enough to drink, he doesn't think he would make a habit of it.

"No. Just moved from Nevada to North Carolina. Originally, I'm from Rotterdam." A Rotterdam that's two hundred years in the future of the one on this Earth, but that's a little beside the point.

Quiet and listening (as attentively as he's able) to the boy at his side rather than the spectacle starting to wind down in front of them, Bob considers the words thoughtfully. Not for the first time he'd like to pull out a cigarette from his pocket and light up, but decides very quickly after that it's probably not his brightest idea.

"Where'd you learn that?" he finally asks, not completely disagreeing that some people are utter pricks, but having a little more optimism than generalising the majority in a very distinct bucket of shit.

Surprisingly (even to him), he knows where Rotterdam, Nevada and North Carolina are and how he'd get to each of them, but unlike the little guy standing next to him, he's more interested in finding out about who he is, not where he's from. He might have asked the question, but this is exactly why he thinks people are interesting.

"Just from watching people." Bean looks out into the crowd ahead of them again, feeling somewhat vulnerable talking about his past. But he doesn't want to let it make him feel vulnerable, so he'll talk about it anyway. "I grew up homeless. No one gives two shits about homeless kids, unless it's going to make them look good for giving them charity."

Maybe because he saw the worst side of humanity so early, is why Bean has such little faith in people.

Wishing he had lit up that cigarette, Bob exhales as if he had, slow and mostly controlled. There's not much to say to make what the boy is telling him any better, and he's not up himself enough to think that it's his place to sort it out for him. Still, he offers up a brief nod. He had a home, growing up. It wasn't the biggest or the best by a long stretch, or without problems, but he still had something.

"Sounds rough..." is all he says for a little while before pulling a hand from one of his pockets and offering it up to the kid.

"I'm Bob."

Bean shoots Bob a warning glare. The last thing he wants is pity. But, seeing as he's seemed to move on from it quickly enough, Bean will forgive him.

He takes the hand, shaking it. His tiny hands are calloused and rough.

"Bean. Welcome to this Earth."

"Alright, then. Nice to meet you, Bean," Bob says, trying the name out and nodding in what can only be quiet contentedness at having traded more than a few words with another person. Dropping Bean's hand after a firm handshake, he finally moves to give in to his nicotine cravings, pulling out his carton of cigarettes and popping one behind his ear for later.

"Way I see it..." he starts, shoving the carton back into his pocket where his lighter is, "since I didn't freeze my arse off going in there, you give me a bell any time you need the favour returned, yeah?"

As far as adults go, Bob isn't too bad, in Bean's book. Sure, he may have started this conversation trying to stop him from doing something completely idiotic, but the direction it took isn't awful, and Bob seems to treat Bean with enough respect and understanding for his tastes.

"Alright. I will."

And with that, he steps away, to head back to the Porter complex, and Nonah beyond it.

"See you around."

KISSES YOUR FACE

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