etcelsior | ON MY WAY

T E S T D R I V E M E M E

Considering apping into MASK OR MENACE? Want to dip your toes into the setting and get a feel of whether your character will fit into it? Or maybe you're just cruising and want to play around? Then you've come to the right place!

Pick any of the following scenarios below or feel free to make up your own, but don't be afraid to throw yourself at someone else's thread, either!

And remember there's only one rule in Test Drive Meme Club: HAVE FUN ON THE TEST DRIVE MEME!

01.The city of Heropa is what one might expect from a small, bright and cheery place, where locals are friendly enough and local shop owners might offer a free drink to welcome you to their fair city.

WOOF WOOF! This Friday is National Take Your Dog to Work Day, and everyone seems to be out with their pooch, enjoying the summer sun! (At least until they start to sweat and have to make a beeline for someplace with air conditioning.) However, the thing about superheroes is that their work can take them anywhere, and with the Top ImPort contest leading the news, EVERY imPort is a hero in the minds of the public!

Got a costume on? Here's a corgi. In line for an iced coffee? Come kiss this old lady's schnauzer. Allergic to dogs? Have a Claritin...and then brace yourself as this Great Dane tries to sit on you. And be sure to smile! Can you imagine how many likes a pic of the coolest new imPort cuddling man's best friend will get?

02. De Chima, Virginia, is a large city with a healthy economy, with large numbers of citizens waiting to be awed by your very presence. Look at you! Organic wonder! Synthetic wonder! Whatever you might be, those words have meaning here. Science and technology are the lifeblood of this city, so you're likely to come across a good many locals taking your picture with the newest of devices. The imPort craze remains high here, and you may find yourself cornered by overzealous imPort fans, media wannabes and opportunists alike, shoving cameras in your face.

Today, a company that manufactures tech-based educational toys—"Where Science Meets Fun!"—is running a demo of its latest project, Quincy the QuizBot. Filled with information taken from the curricula of many grade levels, Quincy is whirring through the streets to conduct pop quizzes! Answer a question right, win a prize, ranging from a coupon for a free soda at the local fast food joint to a $100 gift card, based on difficulty!

Except...something's gone wrong with Quincy's programming. An hour or two into the demo session, he starts to approach passersby and demand answers. "WHAT IS THE SQUARE ROOT OF 47284? CAN YOU LIST THE PHARAOHS OF EGYPT IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER? ANSWER-ANSWER-ANSWER-ANSWER!"

03. Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania has carried a reputation for ups and downs ever since imPorts began reappearing again, just those few years prior. Several imPort heroes have put focused efforts into cleaning up the streets of this somewhat infamous city, while a handful of others had swooped in to help the criminal industry thrive. More so here than the streets of any other imPort city, the battle between good and evil looks more like a war of escalation than a heroic tale. Everything from the classic bank heist to brutal bloodbaths can happen around the corner. You have to keep your eyes open and your mind sharp when you live in Maurtia Falls, and hostility against imPorts can spike. The emergence of locals with superpowers is hardly helping...

Despite the lack of gratitude that's in it for you, you may want to step in once you see a very, very sad supervillain wandering Maurtia Falls' streets. Dressed in a cape that appears to be a large swath of fabric purchased from a nearby sewing store, galaxy-themed leggings and no shirt is a man who runs right into your vicinity before striking a pose and yelling, "Everyone, stop before me and my wrath! I am Mister Mars, and provided you give me what I ask for, nobody needs to get hurt!"

At which point Mister Mars snatches an old woman's purse, loudly laughs in her face, and begins to float upwards. By the time he reaches the height of the tallest building in the area, he's beginning to look slightly panicked as he fails to really be able to move anywhere but up. Meanwhile, the old woman has begun shaking her cane at him and screaming quite an assortment of alarming expletives.

Maybe you should help one or the other out? If not, just lean back and enjoy the show.

04. Nonah, North Carolina, is the liveliest of all cities; loud, busy and there's always some kind of energy in the air that gets everyone buzzing with excitement.

Welcome, everyone, to the sugar fueled festivity that is National Hot Fudge Sundae Day. The celebration is taking place on two closed down city blocks, with a market in between them selling all the pun filled souvenir shirts and stuffed ice cream cone toys, fudge bottle body pillows, and every kind of craft fair knickknack in between, that you can imagine. The powers that be in Nonah have clearly tried to divide the celebrations up into the ice cream and ‘normal’ food sides, but this is America. They can’t tell you what to do. Go try those meat and potato ‘fudge sundae’ monstrosities or cover your ice cream in wine from an adult beverage cart. Dip your deep-fried cheese in hot fudge. Disgusting food choices are in the constitution (somewhere).

But on the pure ice cream side, there are certainly enough choices to make ‘real’ food not super necessary. In addition to your normal food flavors that range from the tame you’d see in any ice cream parlor, or the slightly more hipster flavors like ‘lavender’ or ‘bacon maple,’ there are existential flavors. Yes, inspired by some previous imPorts, these flavors induce a specific emotion in the person while they eat it, which lasts up to about 10 minutes after the dessert has been consumed. These range all over, from ‘full cell phone battery’ to ‘the bitter-sweet satisfaction of vengeance against your sworn enemy.’ Maybe try a ‘puppy love’ and ‘first day of autumn’ twist covered in fudge for a true moment of contentment. It’s all in your hands. Careful though, things like ‘moment you first realized your parents were only human’ or ‘pain of failure’ are also available, though obviously not as popular. Hopefully, you don’t create an emotionally devastating mix out of curiosity (or a prank on another imPort).

In addition to ice cream, there are all kinds of family fun activities to pick from. Traditional carnival themed games have been set up, with the normal employees yelling at the crowd to attract attention. Throw a ball in a milk can, get a goldfish in a an (empty glass) ice cream cup! Pop balloons with dulled darts, get a sprinkles themed pair of sunglasses. This is Nonah, though, which means hard work deserves a reward. The bigger prizes for big point getters are a little insane: genetically modified fish that can breathe air, stuffed animals the size of a minivan, a free years worth of ice cream (to be taken home all at once now). There are also some bounce houses and slides that kids and adults alike can enjoy, just no ice cream allowed inside the rides

05. Jeopardy, Nevada by all rights shouldn't exist. A glowing neon city smack in the middle of the desert, the only reason it's still here is that the central nuclear power plant has tapped half a mile down into a subterranean lake for its water supply. So though the desert around it may be barren, the occupants of this small city are happily self sufficient. Those weird figures you see out of the corner of your eyes? Don't worry too much. Probably just weird radiation after effects. Jeopardy has a lot of those.

Welcome to the Church of the Ancient Webmistress' annual cookie sale! To raise money for a variety of community organizations, card tables line the street where the church is located, and boy, do these baked goods look delicious! Cookies, brownies, pies and more are all for sale for very reasonable prices--and to help out such a good cause, you're definitely going to buy some. Right, hero? The watching crowds certainly expect you to set a good example (when they're not busy purchasing tasty treats themselves.)

It seems there's been a mistake, though--mixed in with the cookies frosted to look like spiders are, er, a tray of someone's special brownies. Edibles, as it were (though everything here is edible--and delicious!) Just try to keep it together, okay? After all, there are kids here, and you're a role model! Or possibly not, but if you end up feeling the need to stare at your own hand for an hour, maybe find a side street. Or at least purchase some extra munchies to support any number of charities.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm in Heropa, by some place called Bottle Rockets? They gave me a drink that's quite nice. It's sweet and tickles my nose. How do I get to a porter? The portner?

[Listen, he is craving for any familiar face and it just so happens that one of his best friends answered.]

[Right! Because Sizhui is brand new! Why would he know anything about how to get anywhere?]

Forget I said that! I will come to you! Just hold still and continue to drink your drink? Ah--what kind of drink?

[There is rattling and banging and the view of him on the video bobbles as he very visibly caromes off the doorframe of whatever room he had been in and books it down a hallway.]

[He's...concerned about the rattling and banging and the movement but he expects it to just be Jingyi being Jingyi and making his way over to where he is. He wonders if it's the house Jingyi had mentioned.]

They called it a soda pop? Jingyi, are you all right?

I'm fine!! [That...definitely classifies as a yelp. And maybe not a very convincing one?] Just fine! I just need to find my shoes!

[Jingyi does not hang up, and the video jounces as he hops up and done on one foot to jam each of his shoes on his feet. There is something to be said for having everything he needs in his qiankun bag, ready to go.

He is then out the door and on his sword (it is much faster than trying to walk), and NOW he is sheepish about the line still being open.]

Ah, do you want me to hang up and talk to you when I get there? I think I will have to turn this off when I go through the Porter anyway.

[He is audible, but only just.]

Just be careful!

[Oh old habits die hard.]

Are you sure it's safe for you to travel like this?

Probably not! [He is cheerfully unrepentant.] But I have only fallen off a couple of times, and usually because I ran into people. I just have to make sure there are no people and I will be fine. [He considers.] Unless you mean if flying in the city is safe? I think it is fine. There are enough imPorts that can fly that it is not unusual, and nobody has tried to stop me yet.

Jingyi. I will wait for you here, then.

[He keeps the smile to himself then looks at the robes that Jingyi was wearing. That's...different.]

Okay, wait right there. I will find you. [He promises this with a distracted seriousness, as he starts to dip down toward the Porter center that will help skip him straight to Heropa.]

Be right there!

[It is only then that he hangs up, and gets himself from point A to point B until he is showing up on the sidewalk in front of the shop that Sizhui said had given him soda pop. In person, he is very much dressed differently! Khakis and a pale blue T-shirt, with his arms pretty well bare, with grippy athletic shoes on his feet. The only really familiar things are his headband, his sheathed sword, and the delicately embroidered qiankun bag on his belt.]

Sizhui!!

[He is. Not quiet. As he shoves his way in through the door and swivels on his heel trying to spot his friend.]

[Honestly, Sizhui worries. He's worried since they were children and Jingyi thought things were "good ideas" until narrowly being saved by Hanguang Jun or Zewu Jun. Sizhui is ~~scandalized~~ shocked when he sees the state of dress Jingyi is in]

I thought you got dressed before you left!

[Sizhui is sitting on a stool up near the bar and tries so hard to wave at his friend to be quiet]

[As an imPort, Jingyi is so used to being one of the centers of attention in this place, that even though Sizhui is waving at him to be quiet, he just declares:]

There you are!!

[And then he bounds his way over to the stools. If there are not already devices pointed in their direction and starting to record just because of Sizhui's robes, then Jingyi will eat his ribbon.]

I did get dressed! This is how much dressed most people are here. I only wear my robes when I want to do something properly, like fight someone.

[Oh yes, he is delighted by Sizhui's scandalized expression. He does not pause when he reaches Sizhui's side, either, but launches himself into a hug.]

I am so glad you are here!

[So glad! Though--he is also not very careful even though Sizhui is seated on a stool. Very much like an enthusiastic puppy with paws too big for his body, he knocks his knees into the stool and the counter and maybe slams a little more of his weight than he meant to into Sizhui himself.]

[Jingyi, don't eat your ribbon. It's too fiberous. And what would happen if Qiren shows up?! Of course, Jingyi has two volumes: loud and louder. Sizhui still tries to futilely quiet him.]

Jingyi!

[Sizhui still welcomes him into a tight hug because -- well, someone familiar and in person, even in such a state of undress, still is someone familiar. He's just lucky it's his best friend. Even if his best friend is doing his very best to knock him over. Sizhui moves quickly, stabilizing himself and Jingyi to not be completely knocked over.]

[With a hrnk Jingyi helps Sizhui stabilize them both, but once they are no longer in danger of tipping over, he maybe clings for a bit. Just a bit. Because it is. Alot. To be here without Sizhui and he just needs a moment or two to have an emotion and maybe mush his face into Sizhui's shoulder.

He is making a spectacle of himself and he does not care at all. Some of that impulsiveness and disregard for certain amounts of propriety Sizhui will recognize from home, but some of it is something he learned here.]

Do not worry.

[He does not say more than that though; he does recognize that Sizhui is trying to get him to be quieter. And that is. Weirdly comforting.]

[He laughs softly because Jingyi is always going to be Jingyi. In his enthusiasm or his loudness, he's still the best friend Sizhui could ever ask for. And he's glad that he has Jingyi here with him for this. He pats at his friend's back as he mushes his face in his shoulder.]

Hao la, hao la.

[Do not worry. Worrying words from someone like Jingyi. But he doesn't question them, not yet. Not when they've just reunited.]

[Jingyi does not cry, but it might have been a closer thing than he would ever admit to. He is fine though, and after a deep breath that Sizhui can probably feel, he settles himself. When he pulls away, he is back to uncomplicated enthusiasm. Well, mildly complicated enthusiasm, but that is more that Sizhui is here when here is very unnatural.]

I am so glad you are here--[He repeats.]--but I am also very sorry that you are here. And I promise you that I an not any more naked than most here.

[And with that, he hops up on the stool next to Sizhui's and offers him a wide smile.]

[He lets his best friend settle himself and hop back on the stool. He tilts his head in confusion.]

Others are dressed like you here? Does everyone truly dress like that here?

ON MY WAY

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