mercy meme

[magnitudes]

forced truth meme

1. Post your character(s)
2. People respond to your character with a question

3. Your character must reply, and they must reply honestly
4. ????
5. Have fun. Fun is obligatory. Lack of fun will result in severe repercussions.

Comments

yes but now this is responsible shitposting

[deadtective]

[WRONG MOVE FUCKBOY

Hazel grins in a manner that can only be described as 'bloodthirsty', no matter how innocent she's trying to pass it off as. her own hands wind around Josuke's, one hanging onto his wrist like a vice and the other trying to worm their way under his fingers to pry them off.]

What was that? I couldn't hear you! You're gonna have to say it again.

but the other kind is just as good!

[unbreaker]

[Off comes the hand and Josuke wonders briefly if biting his tongue off could possibly save him from having to answer Hazel's question...]

Uuugghhhhh...it's not my fault you're so hard of hearing you didn't hear me say it's fucking average, alright!

NO irresponsible shitposting only leads to regrets

[deadtective]

[the amount of mean-spirited snickering that erupts from Hazel makes it clear that he should have tried regardless. even if it didn't work he'd at least have had potentially bleeding to death to look forward to.]

Guess your enunciation's just as mediocre as your dick is!

[she hasn't let go of his hand yet, and now she swings it merrily between them. this is a great day, she's loving life and her boyfriend and the world as a whole. what a beautiful world they lived in.]

But hey, at least you've got a shit ton of other guys in the same boat as you! All those same average guys...

naaaaah couldn't be

[unbreaker]

S-stop picturing other guys' dicks!

[...the other stuff is important too, but right now that definitely takes the cake and causes the biggest internal freakout for Josuke. Damn you, Hazel, knowing how to pull his strings like that.]

trust me, i am shitpost empress

[deadtective]

Why? It's the same as imagining yours.

[she can't help it is this is the only source of energy she can live off of now. it's too much fun winding him up like this - especially when it's so easy.]

i refuse

[unbreaker]

No, it's fucking not. In this context my dick's the fucking greatest there is because you're the only one who's allowed to see it other than me!

then you will have a buffet of regrets

[deadtective]

[that makes such little sense it causes Hazel to start laughing all over again. she has to press her forehead to his captured hand for a moment or two before she's ready to actually form a sentence.]

It's a little late to be saying shit like that when you've been flashing everyone on the network, don't you think?

[yeah, she saw that nightmare of a conversation with Captain Cold. she laughed her ass off then too.]

ah, so the usual fare, i see

[unbreaker]

Are you talking about the calendars? That was completely decent!

yeah except now it's open extra late

[deadtective]

No, I'm talking about all your secret dick pics.

[well, 'secret']

...i meant as in food although now i'm imagining deep fried regret

[unbreaker]

I don't have a secret stash, all the ones you plastered on my wall are long gone.

Unless...ugh.......are you talking about that conversation with what's-his-name? I kinda figured you put him up to that!

you can physically taste the empty calories in it

[deadtective]

Me? That hurts, Josuke. I'd never force somebody to stare at something that boring.

[WHAT A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY TO YOUR FAVORITE PERSON HER HEART'S BREAKING CAN YOU HEAR IT]

dnw

[unbreaker]

Wow...that hurts. Thanks a lot, Lockwood.

[Actually, that pout is genuine. Who knew a boy's feelings could be so fragile!]

too late

[deadtective]

[girls, apparently.]

Oh, you'll get over it. Just think about how popular you are and it'll all vanish.

[unbreaker]

Can I get over it instead by tossing you into a snowbank?

[deadtective]

Mmmm...nope! Turns out Florida's fresh out of them. Guess you'll just have to wallow in mediocrity instead.

[unbreaker]

Florida's got sharks! And alligators! I could feed you to those instead!

[deadtective]

Wild animals don't eat garbage. Try again!

[unbreaker]

We can always go with pigs, they'll eat anything and you love them.

[deadtective]

I mean, yeah, but green's not really a flattering color on you.

[unbreaker]

Since when do you give a fuck about how I feel!

[deadtective]

It's not about how you feel, it's how you look! Shit, keep up.

[unbreaker]

Excuse you, but green is one of my best colors if we're not talking about jealousy. Not that I get jealous or anything. I totally don't.

[deadtective]

Says the guy who nearly busted a vein over other people's dicks and a bunch of pigs making me their queen.

[unbreaker]

Shut it.

[deadtective]

Ok, ok, whatever you want. It's easier for me to think about all these dicks that aren't yours when it's quiet.

[to further illustrate her point she finally lets go of his hand so that she can clap hers cheerfully against her ears. mmmm, dicks.]