etcelsior | KEMOSABE, JUMP ON IT!

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KEMOSABE, JUMP ON IT!

TEST DRIVE MEME

Considering apping into MASK OR MENACE? Want to dip your toes into the setting and get a feel of whether your character will fit into it? Or maybe you're just cruising and want to play around? Then you've come to the right place!

Pick any of the following scenarios below or feel free to make up your own, but don't be afraid to throw yourself at someone else's thread, either!

And remember there's only one rule in Test Drive Meme Club: have fun!

01. The city of Heropa is what one might expect from a small, bright and cheery place, where locals are friendly enough and local shop owners might offer a free drink to welcome you to their fair city. Some of the locals might thank you for always lending your service to the nation, while others might not say anything -- but if you have something nasty to say, better not say anything at all, right?

No matter how you feel about imPorts, there is one thing the community all must suffer through together: the weather. And time. Two, two things the community must suffer through together. However many things there are, today is celebrating the Dog Days of Summer. Literally. There is an adoption fair for every kind of dog you can imagine, and a few that really take imagination to call them ‘a dog.’ Like cats that have had doggy ear-shaped hats placed on their unwilling heads, or fish with decorative dog art painted on their bowl. Or that baby alligator on a leash with fur (glued? It looks glued) on its back. So while it’s a fine day to come and meet a new friend- or drop one off and run, hoping someone else will take it- it may also be a good day to stop the smaller animals and some wandering children from getting eaten by some of the more carnivorous creatures a few of the local eccentrics have decided to try to pawn off on the public. Or grab a snack from the fried food and ice cream stands and watch the madness. Whatever your choice, welcome to Florida, heroes.

02. De Chima, Virginia, is a large city with a healthy economy, and though it's quieter than Heropa, there are still large numbers of citizens to be awed at your very presence. Look at you! Organic wonder! Science and technology are the lifeblood of this city, so you're likely to come across a good many locals taking your picture with the newest of devices. The imPort craze remains high here, and you may find yourself cornered by overzealous imPort fans, media wannabes and opportunists alike, shoving cameras in your face. Their questions are likely to be fairly mundane, however; get ready for an interview about your taste in romantic partners, personal underwear choices, favorite foods, and more!

Wasn’t the forgiveness day festival wonderful? What, you weren’t in this world yet to attend? Well, never mind that! There’s still time for those willing to part with a few dollars to show your love for this new world and sympathy for the natives and imPorts alike that have been harmed in it. How? Why with a flower festival, of course! An entire block has been closed off for the seemingly endless sale of flowers of every shape and color. Technically, all the flowers have meanings and a few wandering guides are more than happy to help you pick out the bunch that may speak your true feelings to your intended target. It has all the potential to be a nice, sweet smelling day where you can express your love or eternal hatred or total ambivalence with living flora.

Of course, this is the science city. It can’t be something as simple as only normal, natural flowers. Some of the stands are nice enough to keep their technological wonders neatly labeled and separate from the rest of the foliage. Others aren’t so nice. The best way to get people to try a new thing is to spring it on an unsuspecting public, right? Right! Also for sale are roses that, if you prick your finger on the (oddly able to pierce through even superhuman strong, unbreakable skin) thorns you are compelled to spend the rest of the day with the first person you lay your eyes on. Never seen them before or hate their guts, it doesn’t matter. You simply feel awful when more than three feet away from them. To the point you will pass out if you’re away from them for more than five minutes. Hope you’re good at making quick bathroom runs.

There are also lilies that make birds flock to you and snap dragonsthat offer you supportive messages given in a squeaky voice every time you smell it. For those liking slightly more visibly engineered flowers, a multicolored daisy turns you into a Technicolor wonder, your clothes, hair, eyes, and skin changing rapidly from color to color without any apparent rhyme or reason (or respect for clashing). Putting the flower down will stop the changes, but you’re stuck in whatever random pattern it landed on until an hour passes and the effect wears off. Good luck with the festival!

03. Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania has had its ups and downs since imPorts started reappearing. Several imPort heroes have put focused efforts into cleaning up the streets of this somewhat infamous city, while others have swooped in to help the criminal industry thrive. More so here than the streets of any other imPort city, the battle between good and evil looks more like a war of escalation than a heroic tale. That might make the less than warm welcome imPorts are given in the city a little more understandable. The emergence of locals with superpowers is hardly helping. While some of these individuals have turned to crime, many locals seem more inclined to defend their native powered drug dealer than help the non-native hero bring them to justice. Who are you to tell them how to live?

To say all is not right in the streets of Maurtia Falls is to more or less state the obvious, but this time, the criminal nature of this foe is a little... sillier than usual. One gentleman gifted with the powers of superspeed seems not to have grasped the true potential of his powers and instead of spending his time robbing banks or big businesses, he's decided to be the world's most efficient pickpocket. He zips through the street, pushing people over at superspeed and picking their pockets and snatching their pockets, leaving only a brown blur in his wake, evidently having lost the memo that primary colours are all the rage for costumed heroes and villains.
The more heroically minded among you may want to go after this villain or save a grandma or two that have been unintentionally pushed straight into traffic... but the guy has to stop to rest sometime, and he's really begging for a beatdown with this kind of behaviour.

04. Nonah, North Carolina, is the liveliest of all cities; loud, busy and there's some kind of energy in the air that gets everyone buzzing with excitement. To be American is to be part of a melting pot, and that there's more money to be made by the thriving local industries hardly hurts. Natives may gather around new arrivals and ask both personal and broad questions about life as an imPort, what they are looking forward to, what their favorite article of underwear is. A few night clubs offer free entrance - just this once!

Today the word on everyone’s lips is branding. It’s not enough to slap on some spandex or hand stitch a mask these days. That’s so 80s. Now is the time not only to get your hero/villain costume professionally made, it’s time for sponsorship! Why should natives be limited to just having some registered imPorts actually working at their place of business? A cape is basically a big, open banner just waiting for a logo. Or ten. Now, they can’t really promise money up front for anyone agreeing to wear their logo and work their slogan into a witty quip during an arrest, but they can do one better: free products. Get all the free socks you can wear by only fighting crime in Jane’s Honey of the Earth socks, underwear, and bras. Or negotiate for free dinners for life if you wear the logo and agree to only appear on dates eating at Overweigh burger shack.

Of course, there’s nothing like an unlikely team up to really get the media spotlight on an imPort (and the brand they now represent). If you fall for the hype or even just get herded over to an audition station (if you are walking down the road today, chances are you’re going to get unwillingly pulled in at least once), get ready to meet your new partner: this random stranger! The company will give you 10 minutes to get to know each other, then it’s time to grin, bear it, and think of the free merchandise as they ask you to perform at least one heroic feat as a team for their cameras. What that is, exactly, is up to you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, goddamn it.

[This man would not stop. Chilton knew he would not stop, he was grounded in unmitigated determination -- analysis that could be made having spent no more than ten seconds in the man's company. Chilton wasn't sure what game he was playing, what motivation had struck his fancy, or how he had managed to collar and accessorize the kneeling metahuman.

But he knew where he could accommodate these inquiries.]

Here you go.

[He stretched out his hand, aiming to touch Starr on the cheek. Sedative ready, practically leaking from his fingertips.]

You won't feel a thing, I can promise you that.

[ Chilton did succeed in getting Starr to drop the leash. He did not succeed in touching him -- the former Lieutenant Colonel of Germany's GSG 9 Elite Anti-Terrorism Unit and Head of the Samson Unit of Grail Industries. Starr quickly caught that oncoming hand and twisted it around behind Chilton's back. ]

I am not a homosexual. Despite what you may believe about having a man on a leash. So kindly refrain from touching me further, Doctor Chilton. Now. Where were we--

[ He turned to get back to his sale's pitch only to see his captured metahuman was running off into the crowd, leash flapping around behind him. A little sigh escaped his lips -- what an inconvenience. ]

Pity. The dog ears suited him.

[ Fortunately, there was another on the stage with him. Herr Starr turned away from Chilton to go into his briefcase and pulling out yet another collar -- this one was black with spikes. And he quickly attempted to slip it on over the Doctor's head. ]

Nevermind what I was saying before. I have a better deal for you. [ Said through clenched teeth as he struggled to leash and collar Frederick Chilton. ]

[Chilton had gasped at the arm twisting -- he hadn't seen it coming, this man moved much too quickly. Gaping, astounded, he tried to recover during that second of reprieve, only to find himself leashed and collared now. His numbed arm hadn't even had its circulation return before he was captured by this stoic lunatic.]

Why are you just standing there?

[Came Chilton's exasperated shout at the crowd. But their reasoning might have been obvious; he had tried to stop Starr, and now look where he was. In the same predicament as the man he had clumsily liberated.]

No, no -- it's money you're after? I have money.

[He squirmed, trying to turn sharply enough in place so he might grab at Herr Starr again. If he could just touch the throat, the face, anything with exposed skin, if only then... Chilton had a straitjacket already in mind for this man.]

Money. Order. Uncompromising discipline. A brothel staffed entirely of women who can tie cherry stems with their tongue.

[ Herr Starr spoke idly -- listing off his wants as he rummaged around in his briefcase of leashes, collars, and insidiously kinky items which included a variety of painful looking dildos. But since this was a family friendly event, those don't have to be described. Instead, he found a ball gag which was what he had been searching for and he looked toward Chilton, handing it over to him. ]

If you are a good boy, surely someone will give you a treat. After they pay up front. In cash, preferably. But I will also take four hundred thousand dollars worth of finely tailored suits. I find most of the offerings here to be. Hm. Lacking.

You keep jumping the price, inexplicably. Where is the order in that?

[Smart mouthed and disinclined to appreciate order that isn't his own, Chilton clenched his fists, his eyes scouring over Herr Starr. There was no obvious opening yet -- the man had already proven himself to be astonishingly deft and physically overpowering. Chilton knew he couldn't blow his next attempt, it would probably be his last.]

I can give you some money. This -- what you're doing -- is extortion on public display. It's... Humiliation for pay. Is that partly your motivation?

[He took a few cautious steps closer as he tried to peer into that mysterious briefcase.]

I thought you were of a higher quality than the last one. You should be thanking me for the compliment I am paying you. But if I was wrong and you would rather sell yourself for less, so be it. Do we have any takers for Dogtor Chilton?

[ Probably not the sort of pun Chilton would appreciate. But alas, Herr Starr kept the ball gag in his hand just in case Chilton became a bit too vocal and needed to be hushed for hampering sales. He closed the briefcase, one of the spiked dildos getting in the way of closing it and he wedged that back inside before looking back at the crowd. They were met by mumbled voices and then one guy in the back raised his hand. ]

Looks like we do. Unless someone would like to challenge the man in the back wearing the hideous plaid shirt?

[ It could have been Will Graham. But it was probably not Will Graham and just a Will Graham soulbonder instead who wanted to live out his fantasy of ChillyWilly. But Herr Starr blatantly ignored Chilton's talk about humiliation, extortion and motives -- clearly intent on making the sale in spite of all the protests. ]

[It didn't even occur to Chilton that the gag was intended for his immediate use -- so confident in his own social protection as he was, he felt immune to that discipline. He didn't notice the glimpse of that ominous spiked dildo, so enraged was he after that dog pun in his title. And when that man invoked a bidding remark, Chilton pointed out into the crowd at him, shouting a stern --]

No.

[And back to Herr Starr.]

Out of hand, all of this -- it is a carousal of absurdity. I will not, I cannot ethically indulge your delusions any longer.

[With hands outstretched, he lunged at Starr. His tactic: rip the shirt to expose torso skin, for better sedative work. The neck and above was just too risky, too obvious, and Starr was too strangely powerful.]

You! Are! Coming! With me.

Edited 2017-09-17 08:14 (UTC)

What are you doing.

[ A nearly snarled demand as Chilton lunged for him and groped around with his hungry fingers to try and tear off his shirt. No one had ever been so forward before. Except that one time. ]

If you attempt to hump my leg, I will have to see to it you are neutered.

[ And for as finely crafted as his suit happened to be, the buttons of his shirt did give way -- revealing the gleaming chain between his nipples. ]

[Chilton -- who had been so determined to seize a shoulder or expanse of pectoral for sedation -- balked with sudden surprise. He had expected a lot of things, more scarring if the face was any indicator, but not pierced nipples connected by a chain.

Definitely not that.]

Who are you?

[The distraction, the aesthetic, whatever it was -- it had worked. Chilton stilled his wandering hands, staring downwards in disbelief as he pressed himself against the man who had collared him.

This was not the sort of circumstance he appreciated being so public.]

My name is Herr Starr.

[ He straightened himself taller, unaware of the danger that would come from Chilton's touch and close proximity. There was still a lot he had to learn about the different powers people had in this place. And he was probably going to have to learn it the hard way. ]

I am the Head of the Samson Unit at Grail Industries. [ He glanced over at Chilton. ] Something that I imagine has little meaning to you, given the circumstance of being ripped from each of our worlds. But the thing you should take away is that I am a Very. Important. Person.

[ With a sigh. ]

I am also a very bored person. Come on.

[ He gave a tug to Chilton's leash so that they could get off of the stage. ]

I imagine I would have better luck with this sale on the black market anyway.

Edited 2017-09-17 16:32 (UTC)

You imagine so? Selling a literal human being as a pet, at a dog show, a legitimate venue, giving you some trouble? I am as shocked as you are.

[He pulled at the leash, the collar choking him only briefly.]

Samson Unit? Isn't that a little ironic... Because he had the whole hair thing, and you... [Chilton swiveled a pointed finger around his view of Starr's head.] Do not.

[Intentional antagonism. Starr was stoic as a Roman column, but Chilton had experienced excessive success in his methodology of outright pissing people off. There had to be an emotional fissure line somewhere in this man's psyche. And physical appearance was the low-hanging fruit.

It occurred to Chilton that given all his failed attempts to come at Herr Starr for sedation, he might have better luck making Starr come at him. Hands up, defensive posture, easy access.]

[ The lines in his face seemed to get a bit harder, but that was really the only difference in his expression. And even that was on a small scale. It would take a bit more than calling out his physical flaws to get a reaction. ]

So you know the stories. You identify as a Christian.

[ An assumption. Why bother knowing the stories otherwise? ]

The Christian God does not seem to have been imported to this world. Which is not to say he does not exist somewhere here, but he's been a bit elusive as of late. For all that I have questioned, it seems the Messiah is no where to be found as well. Which is relieving. But also begs the question, who will take his place? ImPorts? There does seem to be a certain amount of worship devoted to them.

Atheist. [But former Catholic, something Chilton wouldn't elucidate right here and now while this man held him by the leash. His stoicism was something of a challenge, the man hadn't even flinched. No obvious pulse of heated blood, no snarl...

The degree of maintained control was interesting, thought Chilton. Almost traumatic.]

And yes, actually, imPorts have already created individual cult followings. Nothing so grand and organized as outright religion, but give it a few decades. Might even become something you could be proud of.

[A tilt of his head.]

And then there are those who already claim to be gods. [Persephone. Inanna.] What of them? How does that play along your philosophy?

Children.

[ Ugh. Ugh. The tone was in his voice and in the distasteful scrunch of his nose. ]

Children playing at being Rockstars playing at being Gods. I have heard of them. I have listened to them. None of it has spoken to my soul.

[ Not like Jesse Custer. Alas. His entire body seemed to sigh without verbally sighing -- shoulders sagging, brows relaxing. ]

I find it all rather...disenchanting. And from the sound of it, you do as well. None of these freshly pubescent gods have seemed to send you to the altar and renounce your atheism.

There is no renouncing my belief -- or lack of belief. My world has no god.

[He pulled at the leash again, taunting. Daring Herr Starr to draw closer.]

Only devils.

[Chilton winked. An intentionally salacious move; no one professed their heterosexuality so unnecessarily without some sort of insecurity to cover. Starr seemed to be otherwise immune to sneers and jeers... But perhaps not to more unorthodox methods of enraging influence.]

Do you have much experience with devils, Herr Starr?

[ He looked over at Chilton and double-take looked over at Chilton at the wink. An eyebrow raising a tad. ]

Do you have something in your eye?

[ The question was both borderline genuine and slightly menacing. But that could have just been Starr's overall demeanor. Or it could have been the way he flirted. Hard to tell! But he let the question linger for a moment before moving on to answer what Chilton had asked of him. ]

I have a working relationship with the devil. Singular but also encompassing all of hell's underlings. They will do as I ask when necessary. But if your world has an overabundance of devils, should you not find yourself a messiah to save it from consuming itself?

All of our messiahs are demons, too. And our humans -- don't get me started. I've worked with the most grotesque psyches that my universe has to offer. [A beat, and he sniffed. Importantly.] So I have unique insight. Because I am a doctor.

[Just to reiterate that point. But back to his mission: the slight raise of brow had been promising, certainly the most of a reaction he has thus far gleaned from Herr Starr. Yet, it was not enough to really satisfy Chilton's ploy.]

So this working relationship... Is it entirely professional? Platonic? You seem like the sort of gentleman who... [That was a hard sentence to finish. Chilton grappled with his own bluff.] ... Represses a lot. Of your personal needs, I mean.

[ Bingo. There was a nerve struck. ]

The devil is a man. [ Probably. ] Do I appear the sort who enjoys copulation inside of my rectal region? I realize you may be trying to project your own desires onto me, but I will have to castrate you if you continue it further.

[ He pulled the choke chain on the leash taut. Just as some minor discipline for Chilton's unwarranted behavior. Herr Starr was leading them in the direction of the porter. He reasoned that if he wanted to find the black market, the best place to go would be Maurtia Falls. Of course, their little walk did earn a few stares on the street as well as people stopping to take quick pictures and videos.

Likely the two of them would become a viral video and a new ship in the fanfiction community. ]

Oh, god.

[He tried to shield his face from the cameras, to very little avail. Perhaps he could blame such shenanigans on another clone, at least in theory, were these pictures to run viral. Regardless, that was a problem he would have to deal with later -- a stunning turn of events was afoot.

Starr was leading him to a porter. Which meant intercity transportation. Which likely meant Maurtia Falls, as Chilton came to the same black market conclusion as Starr had; and that in turn meant Chilton would have a much easier time transporting an unconscious Herr Starr to his facility.

This was a dire case. The man would need to be straitjacketed, muzzled. Probably would need his ankles bound, even while inside a containment center.]

Is that rhetorical? Because -- frankly -- yes, you do appear to be the sort who enjoys that. I initially pegged you as a pitcher, but perhaps I should have stopped after pegged.

[ Herr Starr grabbed Chilton by his suit jacket and practically threw the man through the porter. He paused only to straighten out his suit jacket, but the leash he held reached its end and Herr Starr was yanked through as well -- landing on the other side, directly on top of Frederick Chilton with a grunt.

His palm dug into the back of Chilton's head, and he slowly rose to his feet, trying to present an air of composure. ]

I've decided I would rather murder you. I would appreciate if you could direct me toward the best place to buy a poncho. I would rather my suit be protected from the ensuing blood splatter.

Edited 2017-09-17 22:24 (UTC)

I, in fact, know of an excellent poncho tailor.

[Lied Chilton, with lie residue stuck to his teeth and a slick smile on display as he craned his head up from the ground he had been thrown onto. Facedown, winded from Starr's entrance, he already felt bruised by the backside.]

If you would just follow me.

[He pushed himself up from the ground, aware of his decent luck; he had not broken anything upon impact.]

Just outside of downtown. So -- if I may, what provoked you into homicidal intent? Was it the overt doubt of your professed heterosexuality? Or have you come to realize that imPorts sometimes come back from the dead?

Edited 2017-09-17 22:31 (UTC)

You have a mouth. And you keep opening it to make words come out. And I am growing tired of listening to those words.

[ Weary. A look of self-contained exhaustion carving into hardened features. But he did follow Chilton's guidance because there was absolutely no way Dogtor Chilton would be lying to him and leading him somewhere there were no ponchos. And perhaps this would serve as a lesson to question the motive of imPorts. For now, he was acting under the same belief that his stoic and intimidating demeanor and the fact that he held the leash would be more than enough for Chilton to simply be complying to his demands without complaint. ]

Shall I arrange for flowers to be sent to a partner of some kind? A condolence bouquet, if you will. Perhaps that plaid shirted man who wished to purchase you? Perhaps the redheaded man in the phallic hat?

So you do know who I am! You've done your research, you know.

[Indignation rankled his voice. He stopped, dead set on making Starr work for his own unfortunate ending; hands around his collar, Chilton started to pull at it. Fingernails tearing at the leather beneath the spikes.]

Not sure why you're so keen on the poncho -- your shirt is already ripped. Not a particularly dignified look, Herr Starr, is it?

[Chilton grinned with his teeth clenched and eyes wide.]

A bit. Flamboyant, I daresay.

I know of you, yes.

[ He stopped with Chilton, annoyed by the stop. And even more annoyed the further Chilton continued to talk. ]

You were the one who tore off my shirt in a fit of perversion. All of the video evidence will most likely be appearing on BlueTube later this evening. Which does remind me that I will need you to write out a check for reimbursement before you transpire. I believe four thousand dollars will suffice.

[ He brought one hand to Chilton's shoulder in order to shove the man forward into continuing his walk. ]

[Bingo.

Chilton, still grinning, slapped his own hand over the one of Herr Starr's that rested upon his shoulder. He didn't hold back -- sedative flooded the man, and not the nice kind. Not the halo-glowing-drifting-giggling kind, no, this was hard-hitting, migraine-inducing, knock-out juice.

Compliments from the chef.]

Whoopsie. Guess there is a reason as to why you're not very touchy, isn't there? Less opportunity for contamination. Now, when I said before? That it wouldn't hurt?

I've changed my mind.

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