TRUTH SERUM MEME

[continuousgroaning]

TRUTH SERUM MEME!

Step 1: Post with your character(s)
Step 2: Other characters come along and ask them questions. Anon is OK!
Step 3: Your character is obligated to answer truthfully.
Step 4: Discuss the answers ICly. HAVE FUN

Comments

[photophobic]

Dameron.

[ Enjoy a very steady stare. ]

You can relax; I'm not interested enough to push my way in to find the question you want to ask.
Would you like to try again?

[flightforfreedom]

There's about thirty questions that I want to ask, bud, and a lot of them start with 'what the fuck', but --

I just --

[The hands lower, balling into fists at his sides, and his expression is conflicted, at best, and annoyed at the fact that he feels conflicted.]

I don't get it. Whatever you're doing here. Whatever you're trying to do here. Is this - are you just trying to reinvent yourself again?

[photophobic]

I don't expect you to understand. Any of you.

[ His head tilts slightly, though he doesn't move beyond that small concession to his curiosity. ]

And you? No. You can't, because if you did grasp it, you would expose the truth about yourself you are so desperate to hide. I've seen it. I see it now.

I didn't reinvent myself. I accepted the role I was always meant to play.
And now I am here. In this place, where all of that means nothing.
I have discovered there's more. Than being a weapon. It's easier, when you have no target.

[flightforfreedom]

Expose the -- I know exactly what I am. Don't try to make this about me.

So, what. You expect me to believe that everything you did - that everything you've done - was just you playing your destiny? "Hey, Poe, sorry, I killed all those people because I had no choice, it was just fate playing out, you understand"?

You always had a choice. And you made it.

Just.

Do you regret it? Any of it? Or have you just shoved it all away somewhere and accepted those deaths at part of your 'role'. That they just happen not to matter, now, that you're here. That you get to have 'more' when they don't?

[photophobic]

You don't know anything about me, the choices I had available to me, the forces at work beyond your comprehension. And you don't want to. You would prefer me to be exactly what you imagine.

Do you regret any of the lives you have taken in service of your role? Or is your belief of yourself as a hero enough to protect you. To give you a position where you feel comfortable deciding which lives deserve to be saved.
I dream of my dead, sometimes. I see them. But I don't think about them often, with few exceptions. What purpose would it serve? Regret is meaningless. The dead stay dead.

[flightforfreedom]

I don't need to know. Your actions speak for themselves. I don't care what 'forces were at work' in your head, to justify killing an entire village of innocent civilians. There's no excuse you could possibly offer me to explain that away.

Every death I've been responsible for was an enemy combatant. You cannot say the same.

And honestly? Yeah. I do regret a lot of the people I've had to kill. How many of them were stolen as children and forced to work for you, or Hux, or Snoke, who otherwise could have been decent fucking people? I think about that a lot, these days.

But as long as they were wielding blasters on the innocent?

I can live with my regret.

[photophobic]

It is hard not to feel some sympathy for children stolen away, caught up in a conflict and remade as weapons, isn't it.

[ Some fairly heavy bitterness there. Oops. ]

Though I do find it interesting you aren't considering the children you have recruited and lead to their destruction as deaths you are responsible for. Unsurprising, but interesting.

[flightforfreedom]

[The uncomfortable shift is only slightly visible in the visible spectrum - in the emotional one, it grates against him roughly. But.

In the end, Kylo still made his own choice. So he can push that aside for now.]



What children.

You mean the adult pilots that I recruited to join a cause to fight genocidal mass murders?

Yeah, funny I don't count the deaths of heroes on my own head. Funny I don't consider First Order weaponry to be things I have control over.

[photophobic]

Heroes. Of course. You feel no regret for the heroes who have died under your banner, or the villains who have died under theirs.
And why would you? Dying is what heroes and villains are meant for, isn't it?

How dare we simply live instead.

[flightforfreedom]

Everyone who flies with me knows what the risks are. And the stakes. They all know what would happen, if they didn't put their lives on the line.

The Hosnian system illustrated everything pretty damn clearly for everyone.

None of them would have had to die, without you and the rest of the First Order.

So maybe you should have fucking thought of 'simply living' there.

[photophobic]

As if the son of Leia Organa, nephew of Luke Skywalker, bright with the promise of the mighty blood running in his veins ever had the option of simply living.

I will seek no forgiveness for becoming a weapon for one side rather than the other in a war I was tied to before I was even born, any more than I will seek your permission to finally exist beyond its reach.

[flightforfreedom]

No? You honestly see no fucking difference between the side you chose and the one you ran from?

There are ways to run away from home without murdering a fuck ton of people, Kylo. [Saying the name with all the incredulity that he gave it. As if the word 'Ben' was masked just behind it.]


And now? Are you actually going to simply 'exist' here? That nothing's going to cause you to pick up that lightsaber again?

[photophobic]

Is that what you think happened?

[ A pause. A slight tilt of his head. ]

Of course it is. A shame you can't ask them for the truth.
Not that you would see it, even then. How could you?
You need the story you have told yourself. The lies. They hold you together.

Which is why you want to hear me tell you I will never kill again- not because you hope it's true, but so that you can feel vindicated when I break my word and prove you right.

I don't reject what I did or what I am any more than you do. And if you give me reason, I promise you, I will kill anyone who stands against me.
The difference between us is this.

[ He steps forward, his gaze unnervingly steady on Poe's face ]

I am not looking for a reason.