etcelsior | ONE TWO CHA CHA CHA

T E S T D R I V E M E M E

Considering apping into MASK OR MENACE? Want to dip your toes into the setting and get a feel of whether your character will fit into it? Or maybe you're just cruising and want to play around? Then you've come to the right place!

Pick any of the following scenarios below or feel free to make up your own, but don't be afraid to throw yourself at someone else's thread, either!

And remember there's only one rule in Test Drive Meme Club: HAVE FUN ON THE TEST DRIVE MEME!

01.The city of Heropa, Florida is what one might expect from a small, bright and cheery place, where locals are friendly enough and local shop owners might offer a free drink to welcome you to their fair city.

Unfortunately, tragedy has struck today. It seems like the entire Heropa PD is parked out of a local, popular grocery chain. A huge crowd is amassed in the parking lot despite the best efforts of officers to get them to leave. They whisper about excitement and shame, and you don't have to ask if you just listen in a bit...

"What do you think he'll do to the employees? He sounded so serious..." "He really wants that pussy, huh?" "If I left my man for cheating on me, I'd take the damn cat, too!" "How does he think taking her and her coworkers hostage is gonna make her change her mind about him being a bad boyfriend?" "My wife is pregnant, please - if I don't get her favorite deli sub I might as well not go home!"

Domestic disputes! Tragic. The police aren't too sure how to handle this hostage situation, claiming the man only has a box cutter and isn't actually waving it around at the moment, but...are you an imPort? They'd really appreciate the help, okay. Get in there and counsel the unhappy couple. Or not!

02. De Chima, Virginia, is a large city with a healthy economy, with large numbers of citizens waiting to be awed by your very presence. Look at you! Organic wonder! Those words have meaning here. Science and technology are the lifeblood of this city, so you're likely to come across a good many locals taking your picture with the newest of devices.

The imPort craze remains high here, and you may find yourself cornered by overzealous imPort fans, media wannabes and opportunists alike, shoving cameras in your face. If you let yourself get cornered, beware! Anything from personal questions about romantic chances to bedroom habits to dietary queries might be come up!

03. Maurtia Falls, Pennsylvania has had its ups and downs since imPorts started reappearing. Several imPort heroes have put focused efforts into cleaning up the streets of this somewhat infamous city, while others have swooped in to help the criminal industry thrive. More so here than the streets of any other imPort city, the battle between good and evil looks more like a war of escalation than a heroic tale.

As your character walks down the street, they may find themselves accosted by a large man in his mid-20s, dressed in an ill-fitting spandex suit of orange and yellow. As he thrusts his finger into an imPort's face, the spandex rides up, turning into more of a crop-top, which he duly tugs back down before shouting, "You're not the special ones anymore, imPorts! Feel the wrath of Heartburn!"

Stupid name aside, he does seem to have superpowers as he breathes a large plume of fire. His aim still isn't great, though; it could hit the imPort in question, or be sent in the direction of a nearby local, or even a particularly flammable building. What will you do, Hero?

04. Nonah, North Carolina, is the liveliest of all cities; loud, busy and there's always some kind of energy in the air that gets everyone buzzing with excitement. You may find yourself in the midst of a few closed-off streets for some occasion or another - whether it be a food cart festival, no-car day, or something else! - and surrounded by the hum of people, the waft of food being served on the street, and plenty of attention

Look there -- someone's demoing a VR roller coaster! Won't you give it a shot?

Outside the barricades closing off those streets, you're still likely to attract attention. Natives may gather around new arrivals and ask both personal and broad questions about life as an imPort, what they are looking forward to, if they're looking for a sidekick. A few restaurants will offer a free appetizer (with the purchase of an entree), and you may be offered product samples from local businesses! Just be sure to speak to an agent before signing any endorsement deals.

05. Jeopardy, Nevada by all rights shouldn't exist. A glowing neon city smack in the middle of the desert, the only reason it's still here is that the central nuclear power plant has tapped half a mile down into a subterranean lake for its water supply. So though the desert around it may be barren, the occupants of this small city are happily self sufficient. Those weird figures you see out of the corner of your eyes? Don't worry too much. Probably just weird radiation after effects. Jeopardy has a lot of those.

Despite the weird constant hum and the creepy cultish bingo, Jeopardy is usually a pretty calm place. A safe place. But not today. Today, someone has released a couple hundred tiny praying-mantis-like robots into the city, and the place is in chaos. Shops are closed up early because though these little destructive creatures don't have bullets, they do have some weird arm appendages that like to just crunch everything in existence. Like a locus swarm of cockatoos, anything made of wood or plastic is being crunched up and left for scrap. But at less than six inches high apiece, rounding them up is proving extremely difficult. Luckily, the mayor in her wisdom is giving out titanium nets to any imPort who wants to help round up the trouble makers. And, in the spirit of the city, she's offering the imPort that catches the most robots a free meal for two in the swanky Radiation Galley - Jeopardy's top tier, five star restaurant.

Get catchin', imPorts!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Uuuuh, magic, monsters, demons, celestials...

I've heard some people refer to it as an "Arpeegee?" I don't know what that means.

Beats me! [shrug!] But I've heard of more of a few of those things in my travels. What a coincidence!

...You...you don't know if those things exist in your world?

...And you're a priest?

Haa, what's that? Of course I know if they do or not! What sort of priest would I be if I didn't?

That's what I want to know!!

That is the literal crux of this conversation!!

Well, it's a good thing I already answered that: we can move on to another topic now!

[I SHOULD HAVE LET THAT TRUCK HIT THIS GUY. I REALLY SHOULD HAVE LET THAT TRUCK HIT THIS GUY.]

...Fine. Let's just...

Okay.

[Deep breaths.]

Do you have any questions about this world since you're obviously new enough to walk into traffic?

[your agitation is spicy, Darin! nice zing to the flavor!

Xellos makes a show of thoughtfulness, tapping his chin and giving a little look about.]

Well, let's see, now...it is quite a thing, bouncing into a whole new world, isn't it? Overwhelming, even! I wonder where the average new person would even start on their first day out, like mine.

Well, when I first arrived, the first thing I did was try to get my bearings. Learn about the Porter cities, figure out what type of era I was in. I hit up a library, then a convenience store for the necessities before I headed to my government issued place of residence.

How resourceful. I bet you even got your hands on a great deal of free tourist reading material, too. [says Xellos, his travel bag stuffed with gas station tourism pamphlets.]

Edited 2019-04-25 22:29 (UTC)

Yeah, whatever I could get my hands on, really.

But, since you seem like you're from a similar time period as I am, you're in for a bit of a culture shock.

It might take some time to adapt to the level of technology here, but the rest of us imPorts will teach you. It's not that bad.

Are you here alone? Or do you think other people from your world are here?

Ah, like these little things? [he retrieves his communicator, tossing it up and down idly before gripping it tighter in his hands.] Nifty little nick-knack. And pretty chatty! No familiar voices on it, though.

Yeah, that's gonna be your lifeline to the imPort community. We all have 'em.

If you ever need help, you can reach people like me on that.

Also, a bit of fair warning, imPorts are treated kinda like celebrities in this world. So you might find yourself with fans, even if you didn't want them.

Goodness, fame for nothing? I wonder if that will go to my head. [HEH!!] I'll keep it in mind.

I bet you must be very popular yourself.

Uh...well, I mean, I guess? I've been here long enough but I didn't really take the 'hero' thing seriously until recently.

I'm not really interested in being famous.

[He holds up a hand to wave as some passers-by take a photo.]

Fame doesn't particularly care who it falls upon, does it. Sometimes it's quite out of our hands.

Such is the way with notoriety. Intent can fall very far on the wayside.

I guess you have a point. I mean, I'll take this sort of recognition over being a wanted man like I was back home.

Oho? Sounds serious... [do tell.]

Framed for murder, believe it or not. It's a long story though. Needless to say, I'm not a murderer.

[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOW BORING.

but look you're weirdly OP and low-key ooze an ominous aura? he'll play along. for funsies and research purposes. because mama Zelas didn't raise no dummy.]

My, my! That is quite a pinch, isn't it? How lucky for you such things didn't follow you into this world, hmm?

Not unless my twin brother decides to show up. In which case, we're in for a bad time.

[a light laugh.]

Family matters complicating things? That's nothing new. I can't say I'm above something like that, either.

You've got family problems as well? Don't tell me you've got an evil, undead brother too.

Ahaha-! Well, I wouldn't say that...

Overbearing parents?

Let me guess, they didn't like the idea of you becoming a priest?

(no subject)

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