tfln: mom edition

[sewoften]

✂ post a comment for your character(s) ✂ include one or more texts from last night, or invent your own! ✂ comment around to others having received or sent them a text from last night ✂ laugh ✂ cry ✂ probably don't laugh-cry ✂ enjoy

Comments

[deadtective]

I MEANT THE SITUATION

[the situation which is probably a lot like that 'walking in with pizza to flaming room' gif, let's be real here. godspeed, Iori.]

[sewoften]

Remember five minutes ago when I said you're not helpful when it comes to communicating information?

[ THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR DEAR FREAKING

WHATEVER

metaphorical pizza in hand please answer and show him what the hell is going on ]

[deadtective]

[there's a shrill sound from down the hall, muffled through distance and doorway but nonetheless panicked.]

Don't knock, it's-

[too late, that's what it is. too late. the door, which apparently had been propped up rather than actually attached by hinges, falls flat into the hall beneath the iron pounding of Iori's fist. enter, brave warrior.]

[sewoften]

[ this is the one and only feat of strength he's ever unwittingly performed in his life. iori opens his mouth in shock - just. the hell? he wants to refund this trip.

he's walking gingerly inside past that collapsed door and just wanting a refund on all this trip. ]

You could have texted me a warning!

[deadtective]

I'm not going to text when you're right there!

[or come out to greet you, apparently. this is probably because the patient is bleeding in her lap, but petty details.]

[sewoften]

[ he is now RIGHT HERE as in entering the area Hazel and the patient are

what patient is he dealing with

WHO IS EVEN HERE WITH THEM ]

There was all that time before I got here. What's going on here?

[deadtective]

[oh, you look. a lot less competent in person than you sounded over text. shit. Hazel's face visibly falls when she sees him.

also idk LET'S SAY IT'S KANGMO THIS IS THE KIND OF STUPID SHIT SHE'D INVOLVE HIM IN]

There's parts of a blender in his stomach. And...some other stuff, but that's cosmetic!

[SHE CAN SEW THOSE UP. MOSTLY. EXCEPT THE BIG ONE THAT'S STILL BLEEDING, SHE RAN OUT OF THREAD]

[sewoften]

[ what did you expect you summoned a tailor it's not his fault he's not built like kanji okay

AND SURE THERE'S KANGMO and iori is like what the FREAKING HELL HOW DID HE GET A BLENDER TO THE STOMACH AND WHY DID YOU NOT CALL AN ABUMLANCE??? ]

In his stomach?! Why the hell aren't you calling for medical back up?!

[ Holy shit okay uh RIGHT LET'S DO THIS look at least he brought suturing thread with him

for whatever reason iori is prepared for this shit ]

We need pressure on this!

[deadtective]

It's not that big a deal, ok!

[more like there is no way she can adequately explain it to the authorities and not get arrested and SHE CANNOT GO BACK TO JAIL

but she does obligingly apply the requested pressure, even though ugh ugh it's getting her hands even bloodier. what a pain.]

Anything else?

i like how i never know what icon im using

[sewoften]

Call an ambulance?!

[ HES NOT A DOCTOR NO MATTER HOW HE'S TURNING HIMSELF TO MAKING SURE oh jesus you can't just pull things out of things that's going to - oh god that major bleed let him see okay he thinks he has the right parts he's stitching those up with... precision...

wow so thanks for inviting him to the gore party Hazel ]

Or anyone you know who can heal! I can do something to stop the bleeding, but past that, all I'm doing is damage control.

it's like an adventure

[deadtective]

[man it is a good thing that Hazel doesn't really like Kangmo despite the incredible limbs she goes out for him or she'd be pretty damn hysterical right now. as it is she's trying to think if she knows anyone who can heal besides Josuke and finding that the answer is no. fuuuuck.]

Oh my god no, he'd kick my ass!

[JOSUKE WOULD BE SO MAD IF HE FOUND OUT SHE LET THIS HAPPEN DON'T MAKE HER CALL HIM SHE CAN'T HANDLE DISAPPOINTMENT]

and it just gets worse

[sewoften]

[ Iori does not have time for this shit. She clearly knows someone, and hey, everyone's getting promised punches around here. (... Iori might be intending to outsource his.) ]

That seems like an entirely reasonable assumption if you're refusing to call in someone who can help for a stupid reason like that!

i think you mean better

[deadtective]

Are you kidding me!? That's the best reason not to do something I've had all night!

[which must be saying something considering the state of. everything.]

or just worse

[sewoften]

Who are you even trying to avoid calling?!

[ it may be saying you're an idiot and terrible at judging these things. ]

no, definitely better

[deadtective]

None of your business!

[no way she's made terrible judgement calls and this is 10000% not one of them]

im not sure if i believe you

[sewoften]

You made it my business when you texted me.

believe in the me who believes in me

[deadtective]

Who I am or am not friends with has nothing to do with the situation at hand!

instead i opt to believe in steve rogers

[sewoften]

If your friend can help, then it has everything to do with this!

no, you've got to believe in harvey dent

[deadtective]

He can't help.

i can't he's so two faced

[sewoften]

Yes he can! Call and tell him you're helping out some idiot who got himself injured!

[ LIE HE DOES NOT CARE JUST FREAKING DO SOMETHING YOU MORON

at least he has the main internal bleed controlled

but shit look these organs are... sure... oh god this shrapnel ]

oh come on stop flip-flopping so much

[deadtective]

How do you know what he can and can't do, you've never met him!

[at least she hopes so, fucking christ is she in for it if this guy actually knows Josuke.

SHE LIKES KANGMO ENOUGH TO SAVE HIS LIFE BUT NOT ENOUGH TO GET HER ACTUAL BEST FRIEND INVOLVED IN THIS SORRY]

i am like a fish out of water

[sewoften]

[ Oh for the love of anything worth loving in the first place - Iori pulls a hand off Kangmo and pulls at his lapel, turning it up and activating his regalia. He needs more "hands" on the situation, and to free up the idiot who probably got every single one of them into this.

Hazel.

So one magical girl transformation sequence with lots of sparkles, Doc Oc and Spawn's lovechild is all right there on the spot and still crouched over Kangmo. Iori aims a glare at Hazel, now from behind a green facemask. ]

I don't care who you call, but call someone who can heal right now.

glub glub

[deadtective]

[oh, what the hell. Hazel doesn't need to hold onto Kangmo now, which means that she's free to throw her hands up in the air in a combination of unimpressment and release of any responsibility for how stupid this situation is getting. she's finished here.]

You seem to have this pretty well in hand as it is!

[BUT SHE'S STILL NOT CALLING ANYONE OK DEAL WITH IT]

[sewoften]

[ wow hazel hope you weren't planning to leave because four tentacles are not needed for kangmo so TWO ARE ON YOU GIRL

mostly holding you up because fffffffffff ]

Meaning my hands are full, leaving you in charge of calling.

[deadtective]

[SHE WASN'T EVEN GETTING UP YOU BITCH

DON'T EXPECT A FUCKING TIP]

I'm not calling and you can't make me!