etcelsior | tl;dr meme

Vilkommen, Herren und Damen, to the...

~TL;DR MEME~

Fucking magnets, how does this work?
Step 1: Post a list of your characters.
Step 2: Sit and twirl your moustaches until other people post their characters, then go and ask them questions about their folks. It can be anything, from "So how deep DO Tony Stark's daddy issues run?" (Answer: "they swim amongst giant squid and anglerfish and the trench the kaiju came out of") to "Tell me your least favorite thing about the DC canon" (Answer: "Holy shit are there some cockmongling dingleberries running that company").
Step 3: Other people will ask YOU questions. You go and answer those questions, and be polite - ask THEM a question in return after you're done answering it! (So, it's not just "Nick Burkhardt decided to become a cop when he heard about police brutality and wanted to get in on that" but also you follow up with "What magnificent auroch did Loki hunt to get those beautiful horns?") Then when THEY answer their question, they'll ask YOU a question! ("They came from being cuckolded in Shakespearean times. What are Nick Burkhardt's favorite sunglasses?") And the you ask THEM A QUESTION AGAIN! And they ask YOU! And you ask THEM!! And they ask YOU!!!! So that it's a great big patty-cake of QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS!!!
Step 4: Repeat ad infinitum until we break the motherfucking internet

идите идите идите козлы

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh man

That's...hm

Okay, I could actually vaguely see it happening if the legal system here proves 100% dysfunctional. Like, if Lucifer is set free, perhaps, and if the government shows that it just won't prosecute criminals if they're imports - then Edgeworth might eventually be driven to take up an alternate method of law enforcement.

Admittedly, though, there are two possibilities for how this might go. The first, and far more likely, is one in which his sort of vigilantism would be really pathetic. He would follow every single law and evidentiary procedure. All he'd really do, probably, is investigate crime scenes. Alternatively, he might also go really fucking dark and use his power to torment evildoers who have gotten away with their crimes...but that'd take a hell of a lot of pushing, with like child-murderers getting off scot-free or something like that.

Nickers! What was he like before he made detective?

Oh my god my kingdom for a dark AU Edgeworth

AND UM. That's a good question!! They actually imply that Grimms are instinctively good matches for law enforcement (not that they're any good at it) so he probably just gravitated towards the whole duty/justice aspect, and genuinely did the cop thing because he wanted to help people. But apparently he was a reasonably friendly cop, he and Juliette met while he was working and she just thought he was a Hot Cop. :') BUT he grew up in NY and traveled a lot, and him settling down in Portland was I think his choice? So he probably prefers a more easy going environment than the city, and he absolutely seems to enjoy the quiet domestic stuff. But um I'd say he's been a casual workaholic forever, his best friend is his partner at the precinct, he doesn't seem to know anyone outside of work, so he's probably always been content to keep to himself for the most part.

Um did that even answer the question tl;drs about unrelated things.

IF EDGEWORTH COULDN'T BE A LAWYER what would he be
like if he was banned from all courtrooms forever

dead, because he killed himself

Or a professor of law - he definitely seems to genuinely enjoy teaching the people around him in canon. If he couldn't practice law, or if something actually caused him to feel accomplished and at peace and like he can retire happily, he'd make an awesome professor.

(also dark au edgeworth can always happen I dig that shit so fucking hard)

Do you think Nick is a good boyfriend? Is he good for Juliette?

We're gonna make dark AU happen

AND HAHA man. I think he was actually fantastic before the Grimm thing happened. They seemed to have a really communicative and affectionate relationship beforehand, so much so that the second he started keeping one secret from her, she picked up on it very quickly. They manage to weather a lot of Really Weird Shit together even after the Grimm stuff hits, mostly because they still talk a lot and give each other a lot of support. As for good, I think sadly not!! Not anymore, anyway, just because now she's been dragged into this crappy world and is in danger fairly often because of it. It is her choice to stick with him, but she also seems super aware of the fact that things have changed dramatically and he's not the same guy she would've absolutely married a few years ago. So WAS yes, IS?? He tries but he's been p changed by his experiences and isn't exactly great boyfriend material, though it's not necessarily his fault.

ON A SIMILAR NOTE does Edgeworth have a crush on anyone in the game? Does he have a type?

~~stop~~ continue trying to make fetch happen

And he does not have a crush on anyone in game - by and large, he feels most of the time like he's just...surrounded by children. So no one's really crush material. Not least because Edgeworth is really tough to connect with; it would take some very sustained personal contact with someone to get Edgeworth to even realize he has a crush, and there are like three people in the world who get sustained personal contact with him; everyone else gets shoved off into the professional realm.

It's tough, too, because his type is fairly rare! I think Edgeworth is heavily hetero-leaning bisexual, and the sort of woman he looks for is competent, confident, in control, intelligent, morally upright, and brave...and the women he meets who meet that description are in the law and he's not about to allow a conflict of interest get in the way of a working relationship. What's more, when people do make passes at him, it just goes over his head completely, so he can't flirt back when he's flirted with...

Basically he would die a virgin if he were a virgin

What does Nick do in his downtime? When he's not being a Really Good Cop.

Oh Edgeworth :'> but wait tell me more about this "if" he was a virgin

And actually I don't think he does much. The only thing you see him doing is cuddling on the couch with Juliette, eating dinner with Juliette, occasionally eating dinner with other people/going on group dates. So I think the answer mostly used to be Juliette :') That's all he did on his time off!! Like he never really talks about pop culture or acts like he has any hobbies, I think he's that boring "goes to work, comes home, falls asleep with his SO" guy. I think he's pretty heavily defined himself by his job and doesn't need/want much of an identity outside of it. In the game he probably spends most of his time with work or doing research on the network like a totally Boring Dude.

also hope why are you awake

shut up fine I'm going to bed now

no don't

never leave me

I left you

ANYWAY

So it's "if" he was a virgin because okay well when he was twenty-four he faked his death (ha ha, so funny, right...) and ran off to travel internationally for a while to try to find himself. And I think part of finding himself probably was exploring emotional bonds he'd never actually explored before - including having an affair. Probably with an older lady who pushed him around. (Dude is cougar bait, seriously.) And, on the off-chance that he was willing to relax and do something not work-related, I could see him discreetly dating someone...but only if he were willing to do something not work-related, and it seriously takes a strong wind to make him relapse back into life-destroying workaholism.

Anyway poor Nickers, poor pathetic lonely Nickers
Who would he have been if he had nothing of the Grimm power in him?

tl;dr meme

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject